Finances And Mental Health: The Impact Of Experiencing Financial Abuse In Marriage
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Financial abuse is a form of domestic violence that can seriously impact an individual’s well-being, independence, and quality of life. Financial abuse in a marriage can manifest in several different ways, from using funds without permission to preventing a spouse from getting a job. Despite its challenging and far-reaching effects, financial violence isn’t as widely discussed as other forms of abuse. Understanding the characteristics and impacts of this type of domestic violence can help foster awareness and prevention efforts. Below, we’re providing an overview of financial violence, discussing its effects, and outlining solutions for responding to economic abuse in a marriage.
Financial abuse: exploring one of the least-discussed forms of abuse
Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse in which economic instability and being financially dependent are utilized as a means of control. Also called economic abuse, financial abuse most frequently occurs between partners, but it can also occur in parental, sibling, and other types of relationships. Here, we’re focusing on economic abuse in marriages.
Partially due to the nature of financial abuse, it is a less widely discussed type of domestic violence. However, it is a serious challenge that affects millions of people around the world. In a survey conducted by US News & World Report, 22% of respondents reported experiencing financial abuse at some point.
Typically, perpetrators of financial abuse engage in this behavior to exert control over their spouse. Women are the most common targets of marital financial abuse; however, people of any gender can experience interpersonal economic violence.
Economic abuse can manifest in myriad ways. It may involve using funds without permission, preventing a spouse from obtaining an income, quitting a job to provoke a response, hiding financial information, selling financial assets without permission, restricting a spouse’s ability to use funds, or perpetrating insurance fraud.
Gender roles and financial abuse
Financial abuse is considered a type of gendered abuse, largely because traditional gender roles have been—and continue to be—exploited by some to ensure that one partner is reliant on the other financially. In marriages, such gender roles among heterosexual couples have historically involved a man working and his wife staying home. While this dynamic is not inherently harmful, it can be used to engender dependence on the part of the wife, especially if she has limited ability to earn funds for herself due to factors like disability, immigration status, etc.
Such gender roles have been reinforced by a long history of gender discrimination that limited women’s ability to vote, earn sufficient wages, obtain credit cards or bank accounts, or otherwise attain financial independence. Attitudes toward gender roles have been changing significantly in recent decades, and efforts at limiting gender discrimination have helped create more opportunities for financial freedom for women and other gender minorities. However, financial abuse is still common for people around the world.
Hidden finances, missing funds, and other signs of economic violence
There are numerous actions that may be considered financial abuse, not all of which are easily detectable. The following are some common signs of economic and financial abuse in a marriage:
- Unaccounted for withdrawals of funds
- Avoiding conversations about household finances
- Limiting a spouse’s ability to obtain employment
- Unexplained accrual of credit card debt
- Opening accounts in your name without asking
- Hiding bank statements or other financial documents
- Demanding an accounting for all transactions, without accounting for their own
- Placing conditions on the providing of funds
- Putting all accounts in their name
- Avoiding child support payments
- Using money needed for bills or other expenses for gambling or non-essential purchases
The impacts of financial abuse in marriage
An economically abusive relationship can impact numerous aspects of an individual’s life, including their social, professional, mental, and physical well-being. The following are potential effects of financial abuse in a marriage.
Disruptions to finances
Economic abuse can create serious financial challenges in a target’s life. As the goal of financial abuse is often control, such abusive behavior often limits the other spouse’s financial independence. Funds may be missing or frozen, making it hard for an individual to utilize the resources they need. An abuser may also take out loans in their spouse’s name. A target could even end up losing their house, car, or other assets.
Spouses affected by these actions can accumulate large amounts of debt, potentially at high interest rates, which can compound and be difficult to eliminate. If their credit score is impacted, they may have trouble getting home or business loans at reasonable rates in the future.
Mental health effects of experiencing financial abuse
There is evidence of a strong link between financial violence and adverse mental health outcomes. Research suggests that economic abuse is connected to a heightened risk of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and suicidal ideation. This form of domestic violence can make spouses feel stuck, unable to gain the financial freedom necessary to have full autonomy over their lives.
Often, economic abuse is accompanied by attempts to isolate the spouse from friends and family members, cutting them off from vital sources of support. Additionally, those who are impacted by economic violence may have limited healthcare options, potentially exacerbating psychological concerns.
Professional challenges
Career concerns are also common among those experiencing financial abuse. Often, financial control is achieved through the restriction of a spouse’s ability to obtain employment. This can also result in fewer employment opportunities later in life, potentially compounding economic instability and making it increasingly harder to leave the relationship or establish independence.
Even if an abuse survivor remains employed throughout their marriage, their career may be impacted by the emotional challenges and mental strain that economic violence can cause. Survivors may struggle with job performance or feel that they must find additional income streams in order to make up for financial distress.
Links to other forms of abuse
An individual may also engage in certain forms of emotional abuse to cover up or deny the economic abuse. For example, they may gaslight their partner by convincing them that they don’t understand financial statements or are mistaken about their bank balances. Economic abuse is also closely linked to technological abuse, as many financial crimes are committed digitally.
How to respond to financial abuse
If you’ve experienced economic abuse, know that support is available. There are several steps you can take to find guidance, helpful resources, and solutions for leaving an abusive relationship.
Consider options for reporting and recourse
You may have options when it comes to being reimbursed for losses you’ve incurred, particularly if financial abuse has involved illegal activity. Reporting your spouse’s manipulative behavior can be crucial to your ability to pursue legal remedies or other actions. Consider consulting with an attorney who can help you determine how best to proceed.
Contact a financial violence support service
Consider reaching out to a support hotline, like the services available through Surviving Economic Abuse or the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Professionals at such organizations can help you determine next steps, show you how to find helpful financial resources, and offer emotional support.
Address the financial effects of the abusive relationship
Removing the conditions that are causing financial dependence can help you separate yourself from an abusive situation. If possible, you might consider opening a bank account that is only in your name, then creating an emergency fund. You could also explore options for separating any joint accounts and removing your spouse from accounts where you are the primary holder. This can help ensure that your spouse isn’t able to use funds that are yours or accrue further debt in your name.
Talking to a professional about a financially abusive relationship
A therapist can be a source of emotional support, guidance, and compassion following financial abuse. If you’re living with a mental health condition related to the abuse, like PTSD, a therapist can help you address symptoms and develop useful coping mechanisms. A professional can also work with you or refer you to an advisor who can help you develop a plan for gaining financial independence. Further, they may be able to connect you with helpful resources geared toward addressing the effects of economic abuse.
How online therapy can help those experiencing financial abuse
Not everyone is comfortable discussing their finances, their relationships, or similarly sensitive topics in person. Online therapy can provide a discreet and cost-effective space for those seeking to navigate concerns like financial abuse.
Addressing financial abuse in marriage with online therapy
With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can talk to a licensed therapist about concerns arising out of economic instability, trauma, or relationship conflict remotely—through video call, voice call, or in-app messaging. Online therapy can also be a more affordable option for many, with sessions that typically cost less than in-person appointments without insurance.
The effectiveness of online therapy
Research suggests that online therapy can often be an effective method of treatment for those who have experienced economic abuse. For example, in one randomized controlled trial on the effectiveness of online therapy for survivors of intimate partner violence, participants experienced significant improvements in symptoms of depression and PTSD following an online therapy intervention. Additionally, researchers noted that online therapy platforms could circumvent common barriers to care for survivors of abuse, such as stigma and the availability of treatment.
Takeaway
What are the signs of financial abuse in a marriage?
Unlike with physical abuse, financial abuse doesn't leave visible marks and so can sometimes be more difficult to detect. That said, some relationship red flags that could indicate financial abuse include:
- Withholding money or the target’s ability to make money
- Not letting that target have any say in financial matters or financial decisions that will affect them
- Using money required to pay bills for non-essential spending
- Preventing the target from learning financial literacy
- Using psychological abuse as well as a form of coercive control in addition to engaging in financial abuse
What are the examples of financial abuse?
Financial abuse can take many different forms depending on the situation. One example is a partner who earns an income outside the home financially abusing their spouse, a stay-at-home parent, by excluding them from all financial decisions in an effort to gain control. The abuser may also prevent the economically dependent partner from earning their own income in any way or going back to school to improve their earning potential. They might also control the target’s ability to spend money or use shared family funds at all, even to meet their basic needs.
What qualifies for financial abuse?
According to the Office on Women’s Health, financial abuse is when “an abuser takes control of finances to prevent the other person from leaving and to maintain power in a relationship.” It also reports that “an abuser may take control of all the money, withhold it, and conceal financial information” from the target.
What are the red flags of financial abuse?
Red flags of financial abuse typically relate to signs of trying to assert control over a person's finances. This could take many different forms and may also co-occur with other types of domestic violence, such as sexual violence or emotional abuse. All of these can be attempts to degrade a person’s self-esteem and exert power over them.
What are the behavioral indicators of financial abuse?
Financial abusers may exhibit various behavioral indicators before or while engaging in financial abuse. For example, they may make subtle threats or comments designed to make the target question their own financial literacy or knowledge, memories related to money, or financial reality. They may also show signs of jealousy and may brush off the target’s thoughts, feedback, interests, or feelings, especially around money.
How does financial abuse affect a person mentally?
When an abuser uses various means to assert economic control over their target, the target may experience a variety of mental health impacts. Depending on many factors, such as the duration and form of the abuse, the target could develop anxiety, depression, low self-worth, post-traumatic stress disorder, social disconnection, and other concerns.
What is financial infidelity in a marriage?
Financial infidelity in a marriage is usually when one partner decides to spend money that belongs to them both in large quantities without their spouse knowing. It usually also involves specific efforts to hide their spending.
How do you prove financial abuse?
Proving financial abuse may sometimes be required for legal proceedings. In order to prove an abuser’s economic control over a target's financial situation, receipts are typically necessary. Some examples include showing evidence of all accounts only being in one spouse's name, receipts showing one spouse taking all profits from a shared family business, or proof of their sabotaging the target’s ability to hold down a job or get work. Consult a lawyer or other legal expert for advice that’s personalized to your unique circumstances. If you’re in an unsafe situation, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for support.
How many marriages end because of financial issues?
According to recent research, “Finances were the primary reason for relationship conflict in 40% of disagreements reported among people in long-term relationships.” This finding suggests that financial issues could play a significant role in many divorces.
Is financial irresponsibility grounds for divorce?
Legal grounds for divorce can vary depending on where you live. It's typically best to consult with a legal expert for advice on your unique situation.
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