Eight Tips For Overcoming Phone Anxiety

Whether they’re expected or out of the blue, phone calls can be a major source of anxiety and stress, especially if you’re already living with anxiety or another mental health concern. It can be helpful to expose yourself to more phone calls, prepare for scheduled phone calls, visualize successful calls, and take deep breaths before picking up the phone. For more individualized guidance, you may wish to work with a licensed therapist online.

Why do calls make us nervous?

Phone conversations can offer some benefits compared to face-to-face discussions, but they can also make it difficult to assess another person’s emotions and energy levels. This uncertainty can bring up some uncomfortable feelings, especially if you’re already prone to stress. 

Some people seem to pick up the phone with confidence and charisma every time. But for the rest of us, phone calls may not be nearly as simple. Why do so many people experience phone anxiety? 

The reasons can be complicated, but the issue is generally common enough that some psychologists have recognized phone anxiety as an offshoot of a social anxiety disorder (SAD). SAD typically involves an intense and persistent fear of being watched and judged by other people, and it can extend to all areas of your life, including over-the-phone interactions. 

As a form of social interaction, phone calls can be unique in several ways, some of which can be stress-inducing.

1. Requires improvisation

For one, phone calls can involve a lot of improvisation. Compared to face-to-face interactions, where you might navigate silences with smiles, gestures, and other forms of body language, phone calls generally limit your ability to see the person on the other end of the line. This may create pressure to fill pauses in conversation with more words than usual.

2. An attention spotlight

Phone calls can also make you feel like you’re the sole object of another person’s attention. Compared to in-person interactions, where we’re usually somewhat distracted by things in our environment, phone calls may limit those distractors and “spotlight” the people on the call.   

3. Unanticipated and unplanned

You might find that scheduling a phone call with a friend or loved one can be much easier than answering unexpected phone calls. Some people tend to struggle with unanticipated phone calls, which can make them feel unprepared for the conversation ahead. This may be especially true if you’re already living with SAD, and it may lead you to avoid calls altogether. 

The reasons behind your phone anxiety are likely unique to you. Some people may associate phone calls with a traumatic life event, work-related stress, or performance stress, while others may find it challenging to identify any clear cause. 

How common is phone anxiety?

Whatever the circumstances, it can be important to note that feeling anxious about phone calls doesn’t necessarily mean you have social anxiety. In fact, based on both research and anecdotal reports, phone call anxiety can be quite common. 

In a 2019 survey of UK office workers by Face for Business, one of the UK’s leading telephone answering services, 62% of office-based employees generally reported call-related nervousness before answering the phone, out of 500 respondents. As noted previously, these fears can often be related to SAD, which may affect approximately 15 million adults or 7.1% of the population in the US.

More research may be needed to assess the full extent of phone anxiety, sometimes called “telephobia” by popular media outlets. While telephobia may not be a formal diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), it’s likely a phenomenon worthy of further research and discussion, as it can have a significant impact on your social well-being. 

What are the symptoms?

Phone anxiety may not be a diagnosable condition, but it can often be associated with SAD and other anxiety disorders. Some of the most common symptoms of SAD can include:

• Nausea
• Blushing, sweating, and trembling
• Increased heart rate and shortness of breath
• Avoiding social places or meeting new people
• Intense self-consciousness and fear of judgment 
• In the case of phone-related nervousness, obsessing or worrying about what you’ll say

For people with SAD, these symptoms are usually most intense during and in anticipation of a social event.

How can I overcome my phone anxiety?

If you’re experiencing some of the common symptoms of phone anxiety, you can take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone. Because this issue can be so widespread, therapists have developed several tips to help you overcome these symptoms. 

1. Expose yourself to more phone calls

Sometimes, the fear of calls can partially be due to a lack of experience, an idea that has often been explored in studies of sales professionals. 

Based on this research, when salespeople are fearful of self-promotion, they tend to have a harder time connecting with customers over the telephone, and ultimately, this can reduce their work performance. But with practice, people of all professional and personal backgrounds can chip away at their call stress. (Mental health research is constantly evolving, so older sources may contain information or theories that have been reevaluated since their original publication date.)

In professions that depend on successful phone calls, try focusing on how your call provides value or support to another person. When you know that you’re helping someone by calling them and walking them through a problem, it can give you the confidence to pick up the next call.

2. Prepare yourself for the call

3. Visualize a successful phone call

Of course, some phone calls are unexpected, which can mean you won’t always have an opportunity to write down notes beforehand. 

In anticipation of random calls, try visualizing yourself talking on the phone with ease, confidence, and clarity. While it might feel uncomfortable or even childish at first, visualization can be a powerful tool for any stressful situation.

4. Take a breath

You’ve likely heard it before, but taking deep breaths before any stressful event can calm your mind and body. 

Engaging in a deep breathing exercise can be a brief but powerful way to reduce anxiety, especially as you prepare for a scheduled call. Some common techniques may include abdominal breathing and “Countdown to Calm,” which can combat your body’s natural “fight-or-flight” response to perceived dangers.

5. Take care of yourself after the call

After a call, try to take a few minutes to take care of yourself. You might sit down for 10 minutes with a cup of tea, go outside for a short walk, or find another simple way to reward yourself for facing your fears.

6. Find another way to communicate

Depending on the interaction, it may be possible to video chat, text, email, or simply meet face-to-face. If one of these modes feels more comfortable and natural for you, it’s often possible to ask for an alternative. You may find that certain modes of communication make you feel more comfortable, safe, and connected to other people.

7. Cultivate positive feelings

If you notice that an upcoming phone call is stirring a wave of negative emotions, you might make time for an energizing activity in your schedule. Dancing to your favorite song, talking to a beloved friend, or journaling about areas of gratitude and growth can cultivate positive emotions and even reduce your stress about a future phone call.

While you can try any of these tips on your own, some people appreciate the support, accountability, and expertise of a licensed therapist.

Traditionally, therapy has often been limited to face-to-face sessions – but today, many people use online therapy to begin their mental health journeys. Digital platforms can make it easy to connect with a therapist based on your unique history, symptoms, and goals. When you connect with a therapist online, you may speak to them through video chat, phone calls, or unlimited in-app messaging—whatever mode of communication feels most comfortable for you. 

Several studies find that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy for a variety of mental health conditions. A 2020 study found that internet-based therapy typically led to significant reductions in social anxiety, social phobia, stress, anxiety, and worry, based on psychological scales designed to assess these conditions. Related research finds that digital interventions, including online education and motivation interviewing, can encourage adults with social anxiety to pursue further treatment.