What Do I Need To Know About Dating Someone With Asperger’s?

Dating is a natural process for most people, but have you ever thought about all the non-verbal clues that go along with romantic relationships? One person notices something attractive about another-a woman tossing her hair back or a man who is clean-shaven and impeccably dressed. They exchange glances and smiles. One moves in the direction of the other with flirty eyes fixed upon a captivating target. Dating someone with Asperger's looks a little different.

What Is Asperger Syndrome?


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Asperger syndrome is on the autism spectrum. Adults with Asperger syndrome have trouble in social interactions. They may have other symptoms including repetitive speech, inability to pick up or respond to social cues, lack of eye contact, having one-sided conversations, obsessive tendencies, and unusual mannerisms.

People with Asperger syndrome don't have language delays or poor cognition. In fact, some people with Asperger syndrome have high intelligence and large vocabularies.

Do People with Asperger Syndrome Have Romantic Feelings?

People with Asperger Syndrome have romantic feelings much like everyone else. They desire to show love and be loved. They want to be involved in lasting loving relationships, and they want to have sex.


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Get Educated About Asperger Syndrome

Becoming acquainted with a person who is extremely smart and who can't manage themselves in a social setting is baffling for a lot of people. If you are interested in dating someone with Asperger syndrome, it's important to learn all about the disorder that you can so that you can understand it. The certified therapists at BetterHelp.com are ready to answer all your questions.

These behaviors are much easier to accept when you know that these behaviors, and many other odd behaviors, are merely part of the disorder. It's possible to have a romantic relationship with a person with Asperger syndrome when you know that they play by different rules for all relationships than the rest of society.

Dating Someone with Asperger's Means Playing by Different Rules

For neurotypical people, romantic relationships proceed in a natural progression. People with Asperger syndrome may not pick up on the other person's body language or spoken language to know when the relationship is ripe to move to a deeper level of intimacy. Neurotypical people who are in a romantic relationship with someone with Asperger syndrome may not realize that their partner hasn't picked up on what they know to be "normal" stages, which creates a barrier in the relationship moving forward.


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Communication is Key in Romantic Relationships

People in committed relationships where one or both people have Asperger syndrome need to learn to do the dance of romance a little differently. Communication plays a big part. It's important to know that just as the person with Asperger syndrome doesn't pick up on the neurotypical person's cues, the neurotypical person may not pick up on when they need to ask questions about why the person with Asperger syndrome acts the way they do. Understanding how each person speaks and responds to intimacy is a two-way street. Words and actions that feel comfortable and pleasant for one person can completely be misinterpreted by the other.

Enjoying romance with a person with Asperger syndrome requires large doses of patience and understanding. If something seems confusing on either end, it's best to talk about it openly.


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