Does Marital Counseling Really Work?
By: Robert Porter
Updated February 03, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Kristen Hardin
Marriage has the potential to be a very beautiful thing, but it is also possible, and common, for marriage go through rough patches. Even if you love your significant other with all of your heart, you may find that it is tough to stay on the same page and conflicts will arise. Friction in a marriage is not uncommon. A couple has to learn how to live together and make decisions together and help each other and these things are not easy. Marriage takes work. Friction can be caused by many different factors, and it will eventually start to harm your marriage left unaddressed.
Many people decide to seek out marital counseling. Does marital counseling work? It can be a good idea, and it has the potential to make a difference in your life. If your marriage is struggling or you feel disconnected from your partner, then you might be concerned about how to handle it. Going through counseling is something that can give you and your partner the tools you need to get your marriage back on the right track.
The sooner that you can start marriage counseling, the more likely it is to be successful and helpful. When you avoid addressing the problems with your marriage, it just makes things worse over time. You may even start to resent one another, and you both may feel like things can't get better.
Take a look at some of the benefits of marriage counseling and decide whether it is the right decision for your marriage. The information below will give you a better idea of what to expect while also showing you how things work. Even if you are in a very negative place right now, it is possible that marital counseling will work for you.
Is Your Marriage Worth Saving? Consider Marital Counseling
Asking yourself the question "is my marriage work saving" may feel quite difficult. This is not a subject that many people are comfortable discussing, but it is still very important to do so. No one likes feeling as if they are heading for a likely divorce, but sometimes that will be the reality of the situation. Depending on what issues your marriage is facing and how committed to change you and your partner are, your marriage may very likely benefit from marriage counseling. You have the chance to find healing and peace instead of separation and divorce.
Think about the problems in your marriage and then ask yourself if you want to find solutions to them. Unless your spouse has done something that you absolutely cannot forgive, it will often be possible to heal the marriage. Even in cases of infidelity, many married couples have found the strength and compassion to move forward together. Every marriage is going to be unique and different in some way, but you just have to determine if you (and your partner) are willing to invest the time and energy into saving your marriage and committing to each other to work through these issues in marriage counseling.
If your love for your spouse is more important to you than the problems you face, then it is likely that you will want to try to save your marriage. Going through counseling will give you a chance to work on things while focusing on the positive aspects of your marriage, too. It does have the potential to change things for the better, but you absolutely have to want it and be willing to do the work.
Sometimes people make the mistake of thinking that the most important thing is going to the counseling sessions. This is not true. There are 168 hours in a week and you will likely spend only one of them in counseling. This is the time where you have a safe place to talk about hard things and leave with a plan on what to work on and changes you each need to make. All of that happens during the rest of the week and then at your next session, your counselor will give you feedback and suggestions on your progress.
Marital Counselors Can Help You To Address Problems
The reasons that your marriage is suffering will not always be apparent to you. There are likely many problems in your marriage that are working to hold you back from being truly happy. Sometimes these problems will have to do with the way that you treat one another. Other times, the problems may be related to more severe issues such as infidelity, emotional abuse, disrespect, and any number of other issues. A marital counselor can work with you to start addressing these problems.
The first real step that you will both need to take is speaking to the counselor honestly. For marital counseling to work, both you and your spouse need to be honest. It may not always be easy to be honest, but it is necessary if you want to save your marriage. Having an honest conversation with a skilled counselor is going to allow them to assess the situation. They can see the problems that are harming your marriage and will be able to help you take steps toward addressing them.
By working with a marital counselor, you will be able to address these problems over time. Sometimes making some simple changes to how your marriage works can be very effective. For example, sometimes a spouse can come to resent their significant other for not doing their part around the house. There also may be situations where one spouse makes more money than the other and makes their partner feel inferior because of this income discrepancy.
You may even find that your spouse may be doing some of these things that hurt you without even knowing it. Negative behavior patterns are not always things that people do on purpose. Sometimes simply pointing out the fact that an action is harmful to you will be enough to get them to start trying to change. Whatever the situation is, the problems need to be brought to light so that things can be dealt with properly.
Your counselor will use various therapy techniques to allow you to start working on these problems together. It may take some time to see big changes and to get to a point where you are happy again, but look closely and celebrate the little successes. Your counselor will help you do this. The little successes are what will lead to big success over time. As long as you are willing to work on the problems in your marriage, it will be a positive sign. It shows that you are committed to one another and that you do not want to lose the good things that you have built together.
You Can Learn to Communicate More Effectively With Martial Counseling
Learning to communicate more effectively is a very important part of marital counseling. If you are having problems in your marriage due to the way you speak to one another, then it is very important to pay attention to this part. Sometimes couples will be very shut off from one another, and this will lead to friction over time. The way that you communicate with your spouse could be negative, or the problem could be a lack of overall communication.
An experienced counselor is going to be able to take steps to help you work on your communication. When you have a counselor on your team, they will be able to give you effective feedback and solutions about how to effectively share your feelings with your spouse. Bottling up feelings inside is seldom good, so being able to address problems properly is going to make things better. Instead of resenting your spouse for something that they did, it can be better to discuss things with them in an open and direct way.
If you are prone to having shouting matches or heated fights with your spouse, then this behavior needs to change, too. You cannot solve the problems in your marriage when you approach things from the standpoint of anger. Your counselor will be able to work on ways to help you communicate calmly with your spouse. Once you have the chance to change things around, it can make a difference in your marriage.
Working on communication is not likely to be an overnight process. It will become a huge part of marital counseling for many couples. Communications issues are often at the core of failing marriages. It is possible to make the necessary changes to improve your quality of your marriage.
Signing Up For Marital Counseling Near Me
You may be wondering "where can I sign up for marital counseling near me?" In this situation, there should be many options available to you. Marital counseling is usually readily available in most cities. You may be able to find a professional marital counselor to meet with you several times a week if necessary. There is an even more convenient option for you to consider as well, though.
Online marital counseling is available, and it can give you all of the benefits that you are seeking. If you and your spouse lead busy lives, then this option is going to be especially convenient. Online counseling allows you to go through counseling sessions whenever it is the most convenient time for you. You can schedule an online marital counseling time that will work out well for everyone.
This allows you to get the same effective counseling with all of the benefits that you are looking for. You can head on over to https://www.betterhelp.com/online-therapy/ to get all of the details. Signing up is quick and easy, so you will be able to get things started up in no time at all.
This online counseling can give your marriage the chance that it deserves. If you want to make the necessary changes to save your marriage, then online counseling is going to be the first big step. It will allow you to address the problems that have been holding your marriage back so that you can get back to loving each other as you want to. The process will not always be easy, but you will be able to rely on dedicated professionals to guide you.