The Top Three Couple Counseling Exercises

By Sarah Fader

Updated December 06, 2018

Reviewer Kristina Ellen

Every relationship has rough patches, no matter how much you love each other. It is difficult to be with someone all the time for years without having disagreements once in a while. However, if you and your partner are concerned that you are drifting apart or need a mediator, there are some excellent couple counseling exercises that may help you. Read here:

The Gottman Method


The Gottman method is a scientifically proven therapy that has been around for almost 40 years and has helped over three thousand couples heal their relationships. The Gottman method emphasizes nine essential steps to healthy relationships, which include:

  • Building love maps
  • Sharing admiration and fondness
  • State your needs
  • Use a positive perspective
  • Managing conflict rather than trying to resolve it
  • Talking about your values, hopes, and dreams
  • Sharing your visions
  • Building trust
  • Believing in commitment

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)


Since the 1980's, EFT has been improving people's lives by helping to strengthen the bond between them. It is based on This is usually a short-term exercise that focuses on three main goals, which include:

  • Expanding and reorganizing emotional responses
  • Securing a tighter bond between you and your partner
  • Repositioning each person's stance during interactions, making new and improved interactions

EFT is a proven couple counseling exercise that has been found to significantly improve the relationships for 90% of those that have tried it.

Narrative Therapy Exercises


Narrative therapy is a simple and respectful approach to counseling that puts individuals in charge of their own lives by letting them narrate what is going on in their relationship through their eyes. By letting others write down what they believe the problems are and what can be done to fix them, it helps everyone involved see things from the other's point of view. The therapist can then help each of you to write a new story of what you would like your life to become, together as well as individually.

More Couple Counseling Exercises

There are many more types of couple counseling exercises that can be designed to fit your relationship. There are also online couples therapy services available for those who prefer to go that route. Even if you do not think couples counseling can help, or you believe it is too late for your relationship, it is important to note that couples who have undergone some type of couple counseling exercises were 70-80% more satisfied than those couples who did not.

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