By Sarah Fader
Updated May 09, 2019
Reviewer Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPC
Dating can be difficult for some people, and it can be even more difficult if you find out that the person you have been spending time with is not a match for you. Luckily, you can eliminate time wasted on these types of relationships by knowing the right questions to ask when you start seeing someone. What are these questions? Let's get started with some of the major ones!
- What Do You Do For A Living?
It might come off a little shallow, but it is important to know what someone does for a living before you begin a serious relationship. You do not want to get with someone who is having serious financial issues or who has a job that goes against certain beliefs or values that you hold. People will be very open about what they do for a living, but it is sometimes considered unacceptable to ask someone how much they make from their job. Save this question for when you become more involved with someone if you truly want to know.
- Do You Have Any Religious Or Spiritual Beliefs?
Religion and spirituality can either make or break a relationship. Some people may want a person who has no spiritual or religious associations, and other people may want someone who is deeply involved in religion or spirituality. No matter which person you are, ask your potential partner where they stand on these beliefs. If they don't agree with what you believe in, or if you feel that they are going to be confrontational about it shortly, move on and find someone who does agree with your beliefs.
- What Is Your Political Affiliation?
Politics, much like religion, is a very heated topic that can make a relationship turn ugly, fast. Do not ask for someone's political affiliation directly and don't do it on the first date. Instead, approach them with slightly political topics from several standpoints and see how they react.
Are they hostile towards a certain political affiliation, or they do seem as though they don't care either way? Pay careful attention when they are talking about politics to see whether you will click. Those who are very animated about one side or another will tell you right off the bat if they will work with you or not.
- What Is Your Family Like?
The way that someone talks about their family and how often they try to see them says a lot about a person. Ask your date about their family and listen to how they respond. Do they keep the description vague and do they mention very few people, or do they start telling personal stories that are exciting and heart-warming? If they are more in touch with their families, and if they are involved with them, they are more likely to be the type of person that you will want to have a long-term relationship with.
- What Are Some Of Your Favorite Things? (Movies, Books, Etc.)
Although you shouldn't expect your date to love everything that you love, you should expect them to share some common interests. You should also expect them to accept things that you love even if they don't love it. Ask them about their interests and favorite things, then share some of your own. If they respond harshly or critically, they are most likely too immature to keep your relationship going.
- What Are Some Of Your Proudest Accomplishments?
Being one of the more difficult questions on this list, you can't expect a person to list all their major life accomplishments as if they were presenting a copy of their resume. However, by asking them this question, you will get a better idea of what areas of their life are the most important to them and what they consider to be accomplishments.
For example, someone with several accomplishments spread over a variety of different areas may be someone you are more interested in than someone who only lists accomplishments that they've achieved in their work life.
- What Are Some Of Your Biggest Life Goals?
It's important for someone you are dating to have goals. This means that they have other areas of their life that are important to them, that they are always trying to improve themselves and their quality of life, and that they are focusing on other things rather than you becoming their sole focus,unless that is what you want. If you ask them this question and they come up with a blank answer or an answer that doesn't quite give you a good impression, you may not want to pursue a relationship with that person.
The biggest thing to remember is that you will be able to tell if someone is a good fit for you. Although these questions will help you find out some of the more important things behind the person that you are dating, chemistry never lies, and you may fall in love with them nonetheless. Use common sense and do what you feel is right when you are approaching a relationship.
Do you have any issues with relationships, or do you need to vent about a relationship that recently ended so that you can move onto someone who is better for you? If so, we recommend that you visit https://www.betterhelp.com/start/. BetterHelp is an online counseling platform dedicated to providing people with affordable and convenient online counseling. Do you think that you can benefit from this service? If so, click on the link above and you will be brought to a page that will help you connect with the right online counselor for you!