Depression After Miscarriage: Coping With Loss
Content Warning: The following article contains topics related to miscarriages, pregnancy, loss, and trauma. Read at your discretion.
Some individuals may believe that miscarriage is uncommon or rare. They might not hear about it or don’t understand how it can happen. However, studies show that up to 26% of pregnancies may end in miscarriage.
When a person loses a pregnancy, they may go through a period of grief or sadness. They may also experience situational depression. Depression is often treatable. However, understanding the symptoms of the condition can be beneficial in knowing when to seek help.
What Can Post-Miscarriage Depression Look Like?
Depression often has a particular set of symptoms, depending on the type. However, these symptoms may present differently for people who have lost a pregnancy.
Depression from a miscarriage may happen regardless of whether the pregnancy was wanted. Additionally, you may experience depression if your miscarriage was traumatic or scary for you.
Commonly reported symptoms of depression can include the following:
A depressed mood
Loss of pleasure or interest in previously enjoyed activities
Insomnia or sleeping too much
Trouble concentrating
Eating too much or too little
Feeling hopeless
In post-miscarriage depression, you might experience feelings of inadequacy, grief for losing what could have been, or persistent thoughts about your miscarriage.
Consider meeting with a qualified mental health professional if you aren’t sure whether you have depression or are ready to seek treatment.
A Depressed Mood
A depressed mood may mean prolonged or consistent feelings of sadness. It can be natural to feel sad after losing a pregnancy. You may have bonded with your child-to-be, regardless of how early you lost them.
Your hopes for the future may begin to arise as soon as you know you’re pregnant. These hopes may have been dashed, and you might feel an overwhelming burden of sadness. You may cry frequently or consistently.
Those who experienced the miscarriage of an unwanted pregnancy may still experience depression, feelings of shame, or other mood-related symptoms. Both responses can be normal.
Loss Of Pleasure Or Interest
A common symptom of depression is a loss of pleasure, also called anhedonia. Activities that once made you feel joyful may not have that effect anymore. If you get a promotion at work, you might not feel the pleasure of success.
The joy of spending time with friends may elude you. You might stop engaging in activities you used to enjoy or avoid social situations you once found pleasurable. You could feel that your depression has taken the excitement or color out of your life.
Trouble Sleeping
If you experience sleep troubles, this can be a common sign of depression. You may have trouble going to sleep or staying asleep. Or you may find yourself sleeping much more than usual.
At first, sleep problems may be due to potential physical changes in your body. However, if sleep problems continue on top of other symptoms, they may be due to depression.
Concentration Problems
If you have trouble concentrating on the daily events that are going on in your life now, it could be a sign of depression. You may have trouble completing tasks that require you to focus. Or you might struggle to notice details, often feeling distracted or disconnected from your life.
Appetite Changes
Your appetite may change due to depression. You may have intense cravings and feel like eating more than usual. Or you may feel that nothing tastes good anymore. You could completely lose interest in food or mealtimes.
Grief After A Miscarriage
Grief is not the same thing as depression. Grief is a natural process that may allow you to come to terms with a loss and prepare yourself for the next phase in your life. However, depression can be a symptom of grief and is often listed as one of the grieving stages.
Others in your life may not understand why or how you need to grieve after a miscarriage. However, grief can happen for a multitude of reasons. If you feel that you’ve lost something essential to you, grief may come, whether others believe it should or not. You may also feel that you’re grieving a life that could’ve been.
After a miscarriage, you might feel:
Disbelief
Numbness
Shock
Guilt
Anger
Sadness
The grieving process can look different for everyone. It may take longer for some than others. Try to recognize your feelings and accept them as a part of what you’re going through.
Shock And Denial
After learning of your miscarriage, it may feel difficult for you to believe that you’re no longer pregnant. You may question whether your doctor was right in saying that you miscarried. This denial could go on for a few days, but in other cases, you might experience it for much longer.
You may also experience shock and want to stay in bed all day or have trouble interacting with or noticing stimuli in your immediate environment.
Flooding Emotional Responses
You may feel conflicting emotions in the weeks, months, or years after your loss. These emotions may be somewhat due to hormonal changes that could happen to you after the miscarriage and for several months afterward. These hormonal changes can intensify your emotions.
You may also experience emotional flooding due to grief, trauma, or feeling depressed after your miscarriage. A non-pregnant partner may also experience post-miscarriage grief or depression.
Feelings Of Guilt
Feelings of guilt often come up for people who have miscarried. You may blame yourself, thinking it is your fault or that you could’ve prevented it. However, miscarriages may happen for various reasons, and you are not at fault for your experience. Feeling excessive guilt can be a symptom of depression, as well.
Anger Or A Feeling That Life Is Unfair
Anger is often a part of the grieving process for many people after a miscarriage, and you may see a lot of potential targets for your anger. You might be angry at yourself, your partner, or your doctor.
You may feel that someone should have done something to prevent this. Or you might be angry with people when they aren’t compassionate enough or don’t know the right way to console you. Your anger may even expand to your religion or spiritual beliefs. Life may feel cruel or unfair.
Accepting The Loss
There may come a time when you feel you can accept that a loss happened. Acceptance is often listed as the final stage of grief. However, acceptance doesn’t mean you’ll forget about the miscarriage or the child you were expecting. It may not mean you’ll never have moments of sadness about it again.
However, acceptance often means you’re aware that despite the loss, your life may go on, and you may be able to regain a sense of normalcy. You might feel that it’s okay to concentrate on other things, feel moments of joy, and live in a way that fits your new circumstances, all without forgetting the loss in your life.
How To Care For Yourself With Post-Miscarriage Depression
After a miscarriage, you may feel helpless or hopeless and experience symptoms of depression. However, there are steps you can take for yourself. Below are some ways to overcome depression after miscarriage.
Allow Yourself To Grieve
First, allow yourself to grieve. Even if others invalidate your grief or do not understand it, caring for your emotions can be beneficial for you.
Talk To Friends And Family
Second, talk to close friends or relatives about what you’re feeling and going through. Get support from the people in your life who are compassionate, understanding, and helpful.
Care For Your Physical Health
Try to care for your physical health, even if you don’t want to. Depression may worsen if you don’t get adequate sleep or care for your body.
Thinking of healthy habits after what you’ve been through may feel challenging. However, physical health has a proven connection with mental health and wellness.
Ways A Therapist Can Help You
Many people who have miscarried benefit from talking to a therapist. Your counselor may provide solid emotional support by listening non-judgmentally and giving you opportunities to talk about things that might be uncomfortable to talk about with others. They can help you allow yourself to grieve in your own unique ways.
Your therapist may also provide psychoeducation, teaching you about issues you’re going through, including grief and depression. You may learn things you never knew before about miscarriage, depression, and taking care of your mental health.
Get Support Now
Seeking mental health support can be a beneficial first step in finding support and healing from depression. Depression can make you feel hopeless about your situation and life in general. You may not have the energy to get out of bed or participate in activities you once enjoyed.
Figuring out how to attend therapy may feel stressful, or you might not want to drive to an appointment. Online therapy can allow you to get care from the safety and comfort of your home. You might attend sessions from your bed, making it easier and more convenient to get care when you need it most. Through an online mental health platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed therapist to guide you through difficult emotions or symptoms.
One study on online therapy looked at parents who were experiencing prolonged grief after losing a child during pregnancy. The results showed that an internet-based intervention was a “feasible and cost-effective treatment” and reduced symptoms of “post-traumatic stress, grief, depression, anxiety, and general mental health after pregnancy loss.”
Takeaway
Experiencing a miscarriage can be difficult, whether you’re losing a wanted or unwanted pregnancy. You may experience sadness, grief, depression, and other symptoms. Additionally, you may find that the miscarriage was traumatic or scary.
Recognizing when you need help can be a vital first step, as can reaching out for support when things feel too challenging to handle alone. Consider contacting a therapist if you’re ready to reach out for support.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can Miscarriage Cause Mood Swings?
It is very possible for miscarriages to cause mood swings. It’s normal to feel a range of emotions from sadness to anger. You may feel OK and then feel a flood of difficult emotions all at once. When you experience a miscarriage, your body experiences a dramatic change in hormone levels as your body works to return levels to normal.
Aside from hormones, emotions can also contribute to your mood swings. The loss of your pregnancy and child is a difficult and trying situation to experience. Some people struggle with feeling guilty even though there wasn’t anything they could do differently. It’s also normal to experience fear and anxiety wondering if it will happen again in the future.If you’re struggling with feeling sad and having difficult emotions due to miscarriage grief, mental health care providers may be able to help.
What Are The Emotional Effects Of A Miscarriage?
The emotional effects of a miscarriage can look different for everyone. They may be similar to the feelings you’d experience after any loss, such as infant death, regardless of what point of the pregnancy you were at when the loss occurred. Losing a baby can be difficult and cause you to feel deep sadness and pain. You may experience depression after a miscarriage.
It’s important to know that it’s normal to experience the stages of grief after your loss. You may find it helpful to talk to family or to find support groups with other parents that have experienced miscarriages as well.It’s possible for both men and women to experience depression or difficult emotions after a miscarriage.
How Long Does It Take For The Body To Recover From A Miscarriage?
The answer to this question will vary based on how the miscarriage came to completion. For example, was the miscarriage natural? Or did a healthcare provider do a D&C to help make sure the uterus was cleared? It can take a week or two for the bleeding to stop and typically, the first period will happen within a month.It’s important to check with your doctor to get medical advice on when it’s safe to return to all your usual behaviors including things like exercise and sex.
While your body may recover quickly, your emotions may not. It’s believed that as many as 10 to 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, which means there is a large percentage of people who have experienced one. It can be helpful to know that you’re not alone. This is also why joining support groups or online chats with other people that have had miscarriages can be helpful.
You may also benefit from connecting with support organizations that can provide helpful publications, resources, and treatment programs if you’re struggling with your feelings and emotions.
Can You Have PTSD After A Miscarriage?
A miscarriage can cause traumatic stress. It’s been found that 1 in 6 people may experience PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). PTSD is caused by experiencing trauma. The early loss of pregnancy is viewed as a traumatic experience by many people.If you find that you’re experiencing depressive symptoms or signs of PTSD, it can be important to seek help from healthcare providers or mental health professionals. They can help find the right treatment programs to help you start feeling better.Symptoms of PTSD include things like:
- Recurrent and unwanted memories of the miscarriage
- Reliving the miscarriage
- Nightmares about the miscarriage
- Trying to avoid or ignore talking about or processing the miscarriage
- Avoiding things that might remind you of the miscarriage or your pregnancy
- Negative thoughts or suicidal thoughts
- Feelings of detachment from others
- Relationship trouble
- Lack of interest in doing other things
- Feeling emotionally numb
- Difficulty sleeping
- Being overwhelmed by guilt or shame
Along with therapy and treatment programs, you may find it helpful to find support groups or chatrooms of other people who have experienced miscarriages as well. It can be helpful to know that you’re not alone.
Should You Rest After Miscarriage?
It can be helpful to give yourself a chance to rest after a miscarriage even if it doesn’t take your body a long time to return to normal. While you’re bleeding, you may find that it seems like a very heavy period, which can take a lot out of you physically. Adding in the range of emotions that you experience can make it even more exhausting. Allow yourself time to heal and recover. Your body will most likely be back to normal within several weeks, but that doesn’t mean you should expect your emotions to do the same thing.
If you notice you’re having physical symptoms that you’re unsure about, reach out to healthcare providers that can answer your questions or perform a checkup. If you’re experiencing depression after a miscarriage, you may benefit from working with a therapist to learn how to process the traumatic stress in a healthy way.
What Should You Not Do After A Miscarriage?
After a miscarriage, it’s recommended that you should wait at least two weeks before having sex or using a tampon. Medical advice from health care providers also typically recommends that men and women wait to start trying to conceive again until after one normal menstruation.
You also might want to avoidrushing into making decisions right after a miscarriage. If you’re experiencing depression after a miscarriage, or symptoms of major depressive disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or other mental disorders (formerly called mental illness) then you might consider waiting to make any big decisions until your symptoms and emotions are under control.
How Do You Get A Flat Stomach After A Miscarriage?
If you’re looking at getting in shape after a miscarriage, you can use the same principles that apply in general for gaining a flatter stomach. This includes things like having a healthy diet and doing regular exercise.
While it’s important to be healthy, it’s also vital to make sure that removing the memory of your pregnancy is not the only reason you’re wanting a flat stomach. If this is the case, it could be a sign that you’re experiencing depressionor possibly PTSD after your miscarriage.
How Will I Know If Miscarriage Is Complete?
Generally, if a miscarriage happens during early pregnancy and is nonsurgical, it’s typically over when the bleeding stops. This is usually within two weeks. There is a medication that can speed the process along or the option of surgical removal is sometimes needed. You can check with your doctor to explore your options.There are instances when a miscarriage is incomplete, and you may require medical care.
Can You Go Straight Back To Work After A Miscarriage?
In general, you can return to work soon after a miscarriage. If you’ve had a natural miscarriage in early pregnancy,then it may just feel like a heavy period. If you’ve had a surgical procedure, your doctor may want you to wait for a day or two to return to yournormal activities.
However, it’s important to take into consideration that while your body is going through something, your mental health can also be impacted. You are likely to feel a range of emotions that can last well past the physical symptoms that you’re experiencing. For example, one national survey found that 47% of women feel guilty after having a miscarriage. The same national survey found that 41% felt alone and 28% felt ashamed. These are difficult emotions to process through on your own, but it’s important that you address them in a healthy way.
If you experience depression after a miscarriage or high levels of anxiety which can lead to depression, it can be helpful to work with a mental health professional for help. This can help you deal with the current symptoms that you’re experiencing as well as help with suicide prevention by not letting a mental health disorder go untreated.
Is AMiscarriage Considered Bereavement?
To see if your miscarriage qualifies you for bereavement time, you will need to check with your employer. It is not typical for a miscarriage to be covered but there are some companies that provide men and women with time to help them grieve their loss and rest.
How Much Blood Do You Lose In A Miscarriage?
Typically, during a miscarriage, you lose an amount of blood somewhere between what you do during a normal menstrual cycle and what would occur during a vaginal delivery. You are likely to have excessive bleeding if you fill a pad in 2 hours. If you are going through a padan hour, you need to seek medical attention. If you have any questions or concerns over your blood loss, direct them to your OB or a healthcare provider without delay.
Can You Take ABath After Miscarriage?
Most medical providers recommend not taking a bath until after your follow-up appointment to reduce the risk of infection.
What Should I Eat After Miscarriage?
You can eat normally after a miscarriage. However, as your body works on healing and recovering, it can be beneficial to eat a healthy diet full of protein and nutrients.
Can I Work During A Miscarriage?
Some people miscarry without realizing they are pregnant, so it’s possible to work during a miscarriage. However, if you knew that you were pregnant and miscarry, you may not feel like being around others right away. Not only will your body feel similar to being on a heavy period, but you may be having a wide range of emotions. You might find it beneficial to take some time to rest and recover.
If you’re struggling with difficult emotions after a miscarriage, it can help to talk to someone about it. This could be family and friends, or a therapist. You can check with your health insurance company to see if they provide any coverage for therapy after a miscarriage.
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