Support For Depression: Knowing When Enough Is Enough

Sometimes in life, we wonder if enough is enough when it comes to depression. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), around 5% of adults—or about 280 million people—experience depression in their lifetime. It may be mild, moderate, or severe, with a variety of emotional and physical symptoms that can range from uncomfortable to upsetting to debilitating. Depression may make you feel like a different person, may happen quickly, and be difficult to accept. Let’s explore how to know when you should seek treatment when you feel like enough is enough.

When enough is enough: Seek help for depression

First, it’s important to note that more severe forms of depression may necessitate reaching out for assistance without hesitation—such as if your safety may be in jeopardy. If you’ve been engaging in self-harm or experiencing suicidal thoughts or behaviors, seek help immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached 24/7 by dialing 988.

Otherwise, according to the DSM-V, a depression diagnosis can be made after an individual has been experiencing life-altering symptoms for two weeks or more. Some obvious signs and common symptoms include: 

• Persistent feelings of sadness or loss of hope
• Trouble concentrating or making decisions or controlling your own actions
• Significant changes in eating and/or sleeping patterns
• Unexplained physical ailments (headaches, muscle aches)
• Low energy levels 
• Low libido and reduction in physical intimacy
• Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed

That said, it's generally wise to seek help as soon as you realize or suspect you may be experiencing symptoms of any mental health condition—whether it’s been two weeks or you're wondering if you should get to a point where you feel like enough is enough in your life. For some people, depression can develop over time. You may only notice the pattern of negative thoughts and feelings when it starts to affect your life, like your ability to do your job, interact with family and friends, or take care of yourself, or if you find yourself coping with negative thoughts through substance abuse. For others, it can come on suddenly in response to a difficult or traumatic event in your life and may result in long periods where an individual feels barely happy regardless of their environment. In any case, note that depression—especially moderate to severe forms—typically doesn’t resolve without treatment and feeling depressed may be a clear sign that treatment is needed. Regardless, before you feel that enough is enough, you can save yourself additional discomfort or pain and prioritize your safety and wellbeing by seeking treatment right away. 

For couples managing depression in their life, it is important to spend some time understanding depression and its role in their relationship. Having a partner with depression does not mean that you need to end the relationship, and depression is not a reason to shut out potential partners in the future. By staying completely involved with your partner on a day-to-day basis you may be able to support them more effectively. As a note, if your depression is caused by partner abuse, including verbal abuse and physical abuse, it is important to get help right away. 

Treatments for depression

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most common types for those with depression, as a robust body of research supports its effectiveness. This type of therapy is based on the goal of identifying and shifting warped thought patterns that may be causing emotional distress and/or unhealthy behaviors. 

To start, a therapist may help you learn to recognize common cognitive distortions. While most people experience these flawed patterns of thinking sometimes, those with depression may unknowingly implement them more often or more intensely or might experience increased distress as a result. There are around a dozen common cognitive distortions that a therapist may help someone with depression learn to identify and shift. Examples of a few include:

• Polarized thinking, which is the tendency to categorize things as either fantastic or terrible with little room for anything in between. 
• Mind reading, which is the tendency to assume you know what someone else is thinking or feeling—especially when it involves the assumption that it relates to you and is negative.
• Catastrophizing, which is the tendency to assume the worst possible explanation for something.
• Filtering, which is the tendency to filter out all of the positive or neutral aspects of a situation and focus exclusively on the negatives.

Additionally, reaching out to your support system can be vital when you’re struggling with depression, before you feel like enough is enough. Friends and family members can help you face life challenges and provide emotional support as you navigate your symptoms. You can also find a support group that can connect you with people who are experiencing similar challenges. Members of a support group can provide you with tips for addressing depression and help you with goal setting and other aspects of personal growth.

Why some avoid seeking treatment 

Effective treatment for depression is available, long before you feel like enough is enough. So why might someone avoid seeking it? There may be many different reasons. First, there is still significant stigma around mental health conditions and seeking care for them, especially in certain age groups and cultures. While taking responsibility for your own mental health is a positive choice for your life, some may fear the judgment of others in doing so. Second, someone might be intimidated at the thought of meeting with a mental health professional. Media or uninformed friends and family may have painted an inaccurate picture of what mental health treatment entails. In reality, mental health professionals are there to provide nonjudgmental help and support and to help you feel better.

In addition, the prospect of addressing deep-seated emotions with someone else or at all may make an individual fearful of seeking mental health treatment. Especially when it comes to the often big, intense emotions experienced by those with depression, the idea of confronting them can be worrying to some. Or, a person may simply not understand how therapy works or that it’s been proven to be clinically effective. While nervousness about attending therapy is valid, it’s important to remember that therapists are trained to work with you in a gentle and nonjudgmental way to help you feel better—and that you deserve to feel better.

Finally, accessibility may be an issue. Some people may not have access to mental health providers in their area, or they may not be able to afford treatment. For others, it can be hard to find time to see a therapist because of work or other obligations. These are generally viewed as systemic problems that may need to be addressed through policy and cultural changes over time. That said, online therapy may be a viable option for reducing or eliminating these barriers in some cases. We’ll discuss this more in the next section.

How to seek treatment 

Now you know that you can and should seek treatment if you feel you may be experiencing symptoms of depression. Note also that you can seek mental health support for a wide variety of other reasons, too—and that you don’t have to have depression or any mental health condition to do so. A trained therapist can offer valuable support to virtually anyone in any life situation, even if you’re simply looking for someone to help you get through a tough time, process difficult emotions, or learn helpful life skills like how to identify your feelings, build self-esteem, communicate, or resolve conflict with others. 

Traditional therapy

If you’re interested in seeking in-person therapy, you can find a therapist in your area and get treatment by setting up an appointment and walking into their office. If you have health insurance, you may ask your insurance company for a list of in-network options. If not, you may be able to contact provider offices in your area and find out if they offer a sliding scale for fees, as some do. Just remember to confirm that they hold the proper licenses in your state, and don’t be afraid to try out a few until you find the right match for you.

Online therapy

If you’d prefer to access therapy from the comfort of your own home, online therapy is another option. Research suggests that online CBT can be an effective treatment for mild to moderate depression—potentially even more effective than in-person treatment, according to one study. An online therapy platform like BetterHelp is one service that can connect you with a licensed mental health professional if you’re looking to try this type of treatment. You can get matched with a therapist according to your needs and preferences as shared in a brief questionnaire, and you can meet with them via phone, video call, and/or online chat to address the challenges you may be facing. This means that you do not need to wait in a therapist’s office anymore before receiving treatment. Read on for reviews of BetterHelp therapists from clients in similar situations.

Counselor reviews

"I put off finding a therapist for a long time. I dreaded my first conversation with Neil and all the awkward, clunky explanations I'd have to give about my depression and anxiety. All of the things that felt like dirty little secrets that caused me so much pain. But I was so pleasantly surprised by the way Neil accurately picked up on what I was saying and gave me more insight into how my brain was working. It made my issue feel so much less of a personal problem and more of a universal problem we could examine together. He always gives me a thoughtful response within a day or two any time I send a message. I think we've made more progress in between sessions just by being able to communicate things that are coming up in real time. Neil is intelligent and kind. I appreciate his communication style and highly recommend him."

"Tamera is straightforward and supportive. She's not afraid of pointing out what to work on and giving you the right tools immediately. It is highly personalized just for your unique symptoms and situation! Tamera helped me manage my depression and anxiety and I became more empowered to have more control in my life. I feel a lot happier."