How To Tell A Parent They Need Therapy And Find Them Support

Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW
Updated May 6th, 2025 by BetterHelp Editorial Team
Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include suicide, substance use, or abuse which could be triggering to the reader.
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While many parents worry about the mental health of their children and encourage them to seek help, children and adolescents sometimes find themselves in the opposite role, worrying about the mental health struggles of their parents. Some people wonder how they can convince their parents to get the help they need without offending them. Broaching the topic with one’s parents can be challenging, but there are effective strategies to encourage parents to seek therapy for their mental well-being. This article will discuss ways to tell a parent they could benefit from help from a therapist in a way that is supportive and affirming, in addition to offering information on ways for children to get help for their own mental health.

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Are you concerned about a parent’s mental health?

How to know if a parent needs mental health support

The signs that a parent needs therapy may vary from person to person. Some people may notice a major change in parental behavior, such as withdrawal or a lack of interest in activities that a parent once enjoyed. However, in other cases, a parent may be even more interested in activities, as may be the case in some people living with bipolar disorder. Illogical thinking, unusual behavior, changes in eating and sleeping habits, frequent nervousness, and extreme mood changes are a few other indicators that a parent could benefit from mental health support.

A parent doesn’t have to have a severe mental illness to benefit from seeing a therapist. A therapist can provide emotional support during a challenging life transition, such as a divorce or a major career change, as well as help parents cope with the stressors of daily life.

Talking to a school counselor about how to tell a parent they need therapy

Children and adolescents who aren’t sure if a parent needs therapy might consider speaking with a school counselor. A licensed school counselor may be able to recognize the signs and symptoms of a possible mental health condition. School counselors may also be able to offer information about resources for parents, including low-cost therapy. 

What to do before you talk to your parents

If you decide to talk to a parent about getting mental health support, you might consider doing some research about mental health resources in the area, such as community health centers and local therapy practices. If therapy costs are a concern, you might consider searching for mental health professionals who offer a sliding scale fee structure or online therapy. 

Once you have information on mental health resources, you might plan how and when to have a conversation with your parent about mental health concerns. The timing of a conversation like this can make a difference in a person’s receptiveness. You might consider having this conversation at a time when your parent doesn’t have any obligations for an hour or two. Also, it can be important to ensure that no one else is within earshot so that you respect your parent’s right. 

Tips for a conversation with your parents

When it comes time to have the actual conversation with a parent, you may find it helpful to prepare as much as possible. While there is no single best way to talk to a parent about mental health, the following are some tips that may lead to a productive conversation.

Use “I” statements

Rather than using statements beginning with “you,” such as, “You’ve been acting differently lately,” you might consider beginning with an I statement, such as, “I’ve been concerned lately that you might be feeling down.” You can then follow that statement with a question like “Is that true?” to avoid assuming that you know what your parent is going through.
A teenage boy sits at a kitchen table and eats dinner as a man and a woman with serious expressions sit on either side of him and eat.
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Provide substantive arguments

You might find that your arguments are more compelling if you have several points of evidence. For example, if you want to express that you are concerned about a parent withdrawing or isolating from others, you might state that you haven’t noticed them leaving home much over the last two weeks. If you notice that they have been sleeping much more than usual, you might state that as well, but not in a way that sounds accusatory. You can simply state the facts and ask how your parent is feeling. 

Be prepared for resistance

Sometimes, a parent may be reluctant to discuss any mental health challenges they’re experiencing. In some cases, they might not recognize that they are experiencing symptoms of a mental disorder. Other times, a parent might state that they are fine out of denial or fear of seeking help. You might prepare for your conversation by brainstorming possible reactions from your parent and writing down ways that you can respond.  

Give your parent time to respond

Regardless of whether your parent is receptive, it may help to give them time to express themselves before you respond. In some cases, a parent may have an explanation for certain behavioral changes. For example, some parents may be sleeping more than normal due to work stress or a physical health problem of which you’re not aware. A parent who says they don’t need or want mental health treatment may need some time to collect their thoughts. Even if they refuse to seek help at first, they may be more receptive after they have had some time to think about their options. 

What to do after telling your parents your thoughts

After you finish the conversation with your parent, you might consider leaving them some materials about local therapy resources. After a couple of days, you might consider checking in with them to ask if there’s anything you can do to help. If several days pass and you don’t notice any difference in their symptoms, you might consider talking to another adult who knows them well. If several people who care about them get involved, they may be more likely to accept help.  

Getting advice from a therapist 

Supporting a parent living with a mental health condition can be difficult for their children, even adult children. You may find it helpful to speak with a mental health professional about how you can support your parent while also caring for your own mental health. A licensed therapist may be able to suggest strategies tailored to your specific situation. 

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Are you concerned about a parent’s mental health?

How an online therapist can help if you need to talk to your parents about therapy

If you don’t have a way to see a therapist in person, you might consider getting help through online therapy. With online therapy through BetterHelp, you (or your parent) can connect with a therapist from home or any location with an internet connection via audio, video, or live chat. You can also reach out to your therapist outside of sessions via in-app messaging, and they’ll generally respond when they can. This option may be useful on days or nights when you are especially concerned about a parent’s mental health. An online therapist may be able to offer advice tailored to your situation and what you’ve noticed about your parent’s symptoms.  

In addition to offering numerous communication options, online therapy is supported by research. A 2017 study found that online cognitive behavioral therapy could effectively treat numerous disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder, depression, panic disorder, and substance use disorder. It could be a convenient and practical way for busy parents to seek treatment.

Takeaway

Telling a parent they need therapy can seem daunting for children of all ages, including young adults. It may help to plan to have the conversation at a time and place when your parent might be more receptive. You may benefit from using “I” statements and offering information on various therapy options. If you need guidance on how to talk to a parent about seeking therapy, you might consider talking to a therapist, either in person or online.
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