How To Tell A Parent They Need Therapy And Find Them Support
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While many parents worry about the mental health of their children and encourage them to seek help, children and adolescents sometimes find themselves in the opposite role, worrying about the mental health struggles of their parents. Some people wonder how they can convince their parents to get the help they need without offending them. Broaching the topic with one’s parents can be challenging, but there are effective strategies to encourage parents to seek therapy for their mental well-being. This article will discuss ways to tell a parent they could benefit from help from a therapist in a way that is supportive and affirming, in addition to offering information on ways for children to get help for their own mental health.
How to know if a parent needs mental health support
The signs that a parent needs therapy may vary from person to person. Some people may notice a major change in parental behavior, such as withdrawal or a lack of interest in activities that a parent once enjoyed. However, in other cases, a parent may be even more interested in activities, as may be the case in some people living with bipolar disorder. Illogical thinking, unusual behavior, changes in eating and sleeping habits, frequent nervousness, and extreme mood changes are a few other indicators that a parent could benefit from mental health support.
A parent doesn’t have to have a severe mental illness to benefit from seeing a therapist. A therapist can provide emotional support during a challenging life transition, such as a divorce or a major career change, as well as help parents cope with the stressors of daily life.
Talking to a school counselor about how to tell a parent they need therapy
Children and adolescents who aren’t sure if a parent needs therapy might consider speaking with a school counselor. A licensed school counselor may be able to recognize the signs and symptoms of a possible mental health condition. School counselors may also be able to offer information about resources for parents, including low-cost therapy.
What to do before you talk to your parents
If you decide to talk to a parent about getting mental health support, you might consider doing some research about mental health resources in the area, such as community health centers and local therapy practices. If therapy costs are a concern, you might consider searching for mental health professionals who offer a sliding scale fee structure or online therapy.
Once you have information on mental health resources, you might plan how and when to have a conversation with your parent about mental health concerns. The timing of a conversation like this can make a difference in a person’s receptiveness. You might consider having this conversation at a time when your parent doesn’t have any obligations for an hour or two. Also, it can be important to ensure that no one else is within earshot so that you respect your parent’s right.
Tips for a conversation with your parents
When it comes time to have the actual conversation with a parent, you may find it helpful to prepare as much as possible. While there is no single best way to talk to a parent about mental health, the following are some tips that may lead to a productive conversation.
Use “I” statements
Provide substantive arguments
You might find that your arguments are more compelling if you have several points of evidence. For example, if you want to express that you are concerned about a parent withdrawing or isolating from others, you might state that you haven’t noticed them leaving home much over the last two weeks. If you notice that they have been sleeping much more than usual, you might state that as well, but not in a way that sounds accusatory. You can simply state the facts and ask how your parent is feeling.
Be prepared for resistance
Sometimes, a parent may be reluctant to discuss any mental health challenges they’re experiencing. In some cases, they might not recognize that they are experiencing symptoms of a mental disorder. Other times, a parent might state that they are fine out of denial or fear of seeking help. You might prepare for your conversation by brainstorming possible reactions from your parent and writing down ways that you can respond.
Give your parent time to respond
Regardless of whether your parent is receptive, it may help to give them time to express themselves before you respond. In some cases, a parent may have an explanation for certain behavioral changes. For example, some parents may be sleeping more than normal due to work stress or a physical health problem of which you’re not aware. A parent who says they don’t need or want mental health treatment may need some time to collect their thoughts. Even if they refuse to seek help at first, they may be more receptive after they have had some time to think about their options.
What to do after telling your parents your thoughts
After you finish the conversation with your parent, you might consider leaving them some materials about local therapy resources. After a couple of days, you might consider checking in with them to ask if there’s anything you can do to help. If several days pass and you don’t notice any difference in their symptoms, you might consider talking to another adult who knows them well. If several people who care about them get involved, they may be more likely to accept help.
Getting advice from a therapist
Supporting a parent living with a mental health condition can be difficult for their children, even adult children. You may find it helpful to speak with a mental health professional about how you can support your parent while also caring for your own mental health. A licensed therapist may be able to suggest strategies tailored to your specific situation.
How an online therapist can help if you need to talk to your parents about therapy
If you don’t have a way to see a therapist in person, you might consider getting help through online therapy. With online therapy through BetterHelp, you (or your parent) can connect with a therapist from home or any location with an internet connection via audio, video, or live chat. You can also reach out to your therapist outside of sessions via in-app messaging, and they’ll generally respond when they can. This option may be useful on days or nights when you are especially concerned about a parent’s mental health. An online therapist may be able to offer advice tailored to your situation and what you’ve noticed about your parent’s symptoms.
In addition to offering numerous communication options, online therapy is supported by research. A 2017 study found that online cognitive behavioral therapy could effectively treat numerous disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder, depression, panic disorder, and substance use disorder. It could be a convenient and practical way for busy parents to seek treatment.
Takeaway
Can a school counselor give advice on how to tell a parent they need therapy?
While school counselors often focus on adolescent health, they also typically understand the challenges faced by children who have a parent living with a mental illness. School counselors may have ideas for framing the conversation in a way that parents respect. They may also have information on mental health services in the community or online, including family therapy services.
What are some strategies for telling your parents they need mental health care?
You might consider scheduling a time to talk to your parent about their mental health. This may help you avoid surprising them at a time when they are busy with work or other responsibilities. When you sit down to talk to your parent, you might find it helpful to use “I” statements about what you’ve observed instead of accusatory language. For example, you might state, “I’m concerned that you’ve been sleeping more than normal. Is that true?” Finally, your parent may respond better if you give them time to express what they’re experiencing instead of listening just to respond.
How can you deal with a mentally unstable parent?
If your parent is mentally unstable, the first step may be to have a serious conversation with them about your concerns. While this can be a difficult conversation, encouraging your parent to seek professional help in a quiet environment with a compassionate tone may prove to be helpful. Try to avoid blaming your parent, but instead, explain that you’ve noticed they seem to be having a hard time, and offer your help in seeking support. Setting clear, firm boundaries can also be beneficial, particularly if your parent doesn’t seem to hear you or isn’t receptive to the idea of attending therapy.
While this may be feasible if you’re an adult, as a child, it may be essential to reach out to a trusted adult for assistance. This may be your school counselor or another family member who can help your parents understand that they need to seek help. You deserve to live in a healthy and supportive environment, and talking to someone you trust about the situation may help you manage this difficult situation.
How do you politely tell someone they need therapy?
Instead of saying, “You need therapy,” you might ask the person whether they’ve considered seeking professional help. Depending on your relationship with the person, you could also offer to help them find the right therapist.
How do you make a parent go to therapy?
While you can’t force anyone to do anything, having open conversations about mental health and discussing therapy and its benefits could be effective. Some members of older generations aren’t as comfortable speaking about mental health, so it may be best for you to guide the conversation, talk about your personal experiences, and offer plenty of empathy.
Does therapy make you a better parent?
Therapy can be effective in helping you become a better parent. Clinical experts may be able to teach you effective parenting strategies and new skills. In addition, working through your own mental health challenges can empower you to be more present and patient in your relationships with your children.
Can therapy help with toxic parents?
Most therapists can help their clients address past and current experiences with their parents and other family members. The therapy process can be very helpful in learning to set boundaries and move forward from traumatic or toxic experiences, which can be a huge relief.
How much does family therapy cost?
The cost of family therapy varies depending on a variety of factors, including location and insurance coverage. However, it usually ranges from $100 to $250 per session depending on the service provider.
What are some barriers to seeking support?
A few potential barriers to seeking support include stigma, cost, transportation, and childcare needs. Often, online therapy can provide solutions to these barriers, as it tends to be less expensive than traditional therapy without insurance, and sessions can be attended from the comfort of one’s home.
What should you say to someone who doesn’t want therapy?
In general, you cannot control other people, so attempting to force someone to go to therapy may not be productive. Instead, you might set and maintain healthy boundaries with this person.
What happens if a parent is mentally unstable?
When a parent is mentally unstable, it can have detrimental effects on their children and overall family dynamics. In some cases, a mentally unstable parent may lose custody of their children.
What makes a parent mentally unfit?
A parent may be considered mentally unfit if they engage in any type of domestic violence or abuse. In addition, if they fail to provide proper support, care, and guidance to their children, they may be seen as unfit.
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