My Family Hates Me: How To Set Boundaries And Build A Relationship
Recently, have you found yourself saying, "My family hates me"? Hate is a strong word, but for one reason or another, many families end up drifting apart, holding onto anger and grudges against each other.
Things may never be the same as they once were, but it is possible to start moving towards being in a better place with your family. The trick is setting boundaries and slowly building a relationship.
How to Set Boundaries and Build a Relationship When My Family Hates Me
- Define Your Boundaries and Stick to Them
An important part of repairing your relationship with your family is defining boundaries and sticking to them. Both you and your family can do this and it will help you find better ways to interact with each other - a healthier way.
You can set boundaries around things like:
- How often your family can call you
- Having to ask before coming over
- How long they can stay
- Not disturb you at work
Just to give you a few examples.
- Spend a Little Bit of Time Together and Increase It Gradually
Sometimes the key to repairing a broken family is to start spending small amounts of time together. Maybe you know that once you have all been together for too long, your family members start to snap at each other and become irritable. The solution? End the gathering before it gets to that point.
After a while and once your relationship with your family start to improve, you might be able to extend the amount of time you are together without arguments. If not, just keep things where they are and be happy that you can still have a relationship with them at all.
- Having Trouble? Speak to a Counsellor
Dealing with your family when you feel like they hate you (or they really do) can be exhausting and upsetting. It is totally okay to reach out for help, whether you choose to turn to a good friend or a counsellor.
Another option, if you need someone to talk to, but aren't sure where to turn is BetterHelp. BetterHelp is an online counselling service where you can chat with a mental health professional using your computer or smartphone.
- Reconcile with Your Past and Start to Forgive
One of the big pieces of fixing your relationship with your family will be reconciling with the past and learning to forgive them for their hateful behavior. At the same time, they will be responsible for forgiving you for things you might have done when your relationship started to fall apart.
It might not be easy to forget everything that has happened, but in order to move on, you need to acknowledge that your relationship with your family is more important to you than the things that ruined your relationship with each other in the first place.
The feeling of, "My family hates me" is a tough one to swallow. Our families are often our support systems, and when we have a falling out it can be hard on us. Just know that there are things you can do to repair the relationship, you just need to take things slowly and learn forgiveness.
Your relationship may never be the same, but hopefully it can be rebuilt to the point where you can spend time with your family and get along. If not, keep in mind that you cannot choose who your blood family is - all you need to do is accept it and try to find that love to make everything work.