Tips For Managing Emotions When Overwhelmed

Feeling a range of emotions is part of the human experience. If you feel like your emotional responses are taking over or negatively impacting your life, however, it may be worth investigating ways to regain control by managing your emotions. 

Managing emotions can be a beneficial skill for anyone who wants to feel happy and healthy. A strong emotional response can be overwhelming, and it might consume a lot of your time and energy, resulting in stress. However, if you know some skills to help manage emotions, you can better understand them and respond in a healthy and productive way. 

For example, by developing emotional intelligence, we can potentially improve our decision-making skills, strengthen healthy relationships, and improve professional development. It may also be helpful to recognize the impact of external factors, such as social media, on our emotional intelligence. Learn more about why people might feel some emotions strongly and how to better control your emotional state more effectively in this article.

Why do some emotions feel stronger than others?

Circumstances are one reason, which is easy to understand. The feelings of sadness you experience after dropping your ice cream cone on the ground will naturally be less intense than those you experience when a loved one gets sick, for instance. In addition, some emotions are simply more intense than others, like elation versus contentment or terror versus nervousness.  Diet, exercise, sleep, stress, physical illness, and other lifestyle- or health-related factors can also play a role in experiencing and managing emotions.

Finally, some people may simply be wired to experience emotions more intensely in general. One study found that “highly sensitive people” were more aware of and experienced more negative emotions than others. Another found that they also tend to experience positive emotions more intensely than others and even react more quickly in these situations.

The impact of intense emotions

However, frequently feeling emotionally overwhelmed and experiencing negative impacts on your daily life as a result is not healthy for you, either. This is known as emotional dysregulation, which is simply having difficulty controlling one’s emotions. While most of us become temporarily emotionally dysregulated from time to time, it may be cause for concern if it’s happening often and disrupting your life because you find it difficult to act rationally in these moments. It may cause relationship issues, affect your sleep or physical health, and make it hard to relax or feel comfortable. Overwhelming emotions may also lead you to seek out unhealthy coping mechanisms such as self-isolation or substance abuse. Dealing with emotional moments in a healthy is a learned skill, and one that can be especially helpful for those experiencing the symptoms of mental health issues. 

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.

Emotional dysregulation can manifest as unpredictable outbursts, emotional reactions that are out of proportion to the triggering event, or simply feeling frequently overwhelmed by emotions. The cause of frequent dysregulation can vary—from traumatic life experiences to certain mental health conditions—and may be hard to pinpoint.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

Learning to manage strong emotions

If emotional overwhelm is happening frequently and disrupting your life, you may be interested in some of the following tips for managing strong emotions.

Name what you’re feeling

Naming the intense emotion(s) you’re feeling in the moment can be a powerful technique to help you regain control. Psychologist Dan Siegel calls this practice the “name it to tame it” approach. The ability to say to yourself, “I feel angry” or “I feel hurt” is a helpful way to come into an awareness of your emotions. While this technique seems simple, often a person can be dealing with conflicting feelings, like anxiety and anger. You have very little chance of moving through them if you don’t identify or acknowledge them, so naming what you feel can be a helpful first step.

Take a break from the trigger

The part of the brain that’s responsible for releasing hormones related to the fight-or-flight response is called the amygdala. When we start to feel upset about something, it may jump into action and make us feel overwhelmed by negative emotions like fear, worry, or distress because of an increase in these hormones—what some refer to as an “amygdala hijack.” It’s your body’s way of trying to defend you from danger, so being in this state may cause you to act impulsively or otherwise feel out of control. That’s why physically separating yourself from the trigger can help you calm down and regain control because you’re removing yourself from the situation that your brain and body are perceiving as dangerous. Stepping away from a frustrating point of a work project or from a tough conversation with your partner, for example, can give you the opportunity to take a break, take a breath, reset your system, and compose yourself before returning to sort it out.

Strong emotions can be overwhelming

Explore how to cope

Try a breathing technique

Our breath is closely linked to our emotional state. Think about how your breathing speed increases when you feel panicked, or how you may even hold your breath or breathe in a shallow way when nervous or afraid. It’s unsurprising, then, that breathing in a certain way can help you calm yourself down when overwhelmed by emotions. You can try doing a “physiological sigh,” for example, where you inhale twice through your nose and then do an extended exhale. It allows more oxygen in and more carbon dioxide out, which can help calm the body’s stress response. This type of mindful breathing is one of many grounding techniques you can use to calm the body’s stress response. Many people use breathing exercises as a part of their regular self-care routine. 

Speak with a therapist

Connecting with a trained therapist is another way in which you can work on getting your emotions more under control over time. One academic paper on the subject discusses that some therapeutic styles for those who feel emotionally overwhelmed are specifically aimed at “changing individuals’ relationships to their own emotional experiences, helping them to employ more adaptive emotion control strategies during times of emotional arousal.” In other words, a therapist may be able to assist you in reframing thoughts that cause intense emotions and developing healthier coping mechanisms for negative feelings.

Some people who are interested in seeking treatment from a mental health professional prefer the comfort and availability of virtual therapy. Research suggests that it can provide similar benefits to traditional, in-person therapy, and many find speaking with a therapist via phone call or video chat feels more comfortable for them. An online therapy platform like BetterHelp can match you with the therapist who is right for you and can help you address concerns about the emotional challenges or other stressors you may be dealing with. Their licensed therapists are qualified to help manage the symptoms of a number of mental health conditions. Ultimately, the therapy format you choose—whether in person or virtual—should feel right for you and your situation.