Talk To Someone: One Key To Happiness

Medically reviewed by Paige Henry, LMSW, J.D.
Updated April 17, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Since 2018, over 30% of US adults report feeling lonely, and more than 58% of adults since 2019 feel misunderstood by those in their life. Although social media and online connections are possible, many Americans feel lonely despite their connection to the internet. Studies show that talking to another person face-to-face, whether online through a video chat or in person at an office, can have significant benefits for overall well-being and happiness. 

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Why does social interaction improve mental health?

Many psychological experiments have been done to determine why humans and animals fare better in groups or when receiving healthy physical and emotional support. One study on Maslow's hierarchy of needs showcased that love, belonging, and affection were essential to human health.

As social beings, people fare better in relationships than on their own, which is often attributed to our ancestors' needs to survive. Without groups, humanity may not have formed as quickly as it did. We still seek to connect to groups today.

In addition, physical and mental health are intrinsically connected. When one element of health is poor, the other may also be. Individuals subjected to long-term loneliness, isolation, and social ridicule are often at a higher risk for physical illnesses like heart disease, chronic stress, high blood pressure, and other medical and mental health conditions. 

Although social interaction is essential, many types of social interaction can fill these needs. For example, friendships, romantic relationships, and familial relationships are some of the most popular types of relationships for this cause. However, people may meet their social needs by attending support groups, talking to a therapist in person or online, joining a club, or attending local events. For those without a healthy family, a "chosen family" may be created from friends, community members, and other loved ones.

Why face-to-face conversations improve mood and mental health

There are various ways that talking to someone face-to-face can improve your mood. The following elements may go into the effectiveness of these types of conversations. 

Body language 

Text messages, social media posts, and written words can be misconstrued, as body language and vocal tone are not involved. For this reason, many misunderstandings, arguments, and discussions happen online that might not happen in person. With many human elements missing from messaging, the feelings behind a message can be left up to interpretation, and each person has their own opinion on how to interpret messages. 

Communication technologies via webcam, such as Skype, Zoom, and Facetime, were developed as an answer to overcome the limitations of screen-based communication. With it, individuals can hear and see more of what the other person may hope to communicate through their digital body language. Face-to-face conversations in person can also be beneficial, as tone of voice and body language may be more apparent in physical scenarios.

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Meaningful conversation

For many, severe and life-changing news can be easier to cope with or understand in person. Forming meaningful social connections can be similar. Seeing someone's face when you talk to them can help you form a deeper bond, as you can see them outside of a one-dimensional conversation through a message. 

Experience 

Face-to-face conversations can help you learn whether you have something in common with another person. For example, you might both have a similar disability, life experience, or way of living that is not communicated through messaging. 

There is evidence that happiness relates to a greater sense of social connection. Talking to someone offers many benefits—it can help you learn new lessons. Talk to someone with different life experiences than your own to deepen your understanding of yourself and relate to other people's perspectives as well.

Quality over quantity

Humans often feel an innate desire to feel known, understood, and accepted. These can be complex states to achieve in relationships based on short-term or low levels of contact. Social media can put a high value on popularity, likability, "perfection," and traits that may not be realistic in real life. 

Online platforms like Snapchat, TikTok, and Instagram often allow people to change how they look through filters. Some people do not use real names or personas on social media. For these reasons and others, online relationships may not be as in-depth as in-person or face-to-face online relationships. Studies have also found that, due to online facial filters, many social media users start to objectify themselves and others online.

An increase in mental and physical health

People who open and freely express themselves to others tend to be happier and healthier mentally and physically due to social connection. Talking to others can allow you to vent negative emotions so that you do not have to carry them around alone. 

Communication for crisis situations

For those who are in extreme emotional distress, are thinking about self-harm or suicide, or are ready to get help for substance use, crisis lifelines provide support for individuals who need to talk to someone right away. A crisis line is a free service and support network for those who need to talk about their next step with someone who listens and can understand what they need. They can also offer further helpful resources for when the crisis point has passed. A crisis line text service can also be available for those who need someone to talk to but don’t necessarily have it in them at that moment to speak. There are also services for TTY users, available for the Deaf and hard of hearing. Some essential crisis lines include:

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or urges, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text 988 to talk to someone over SMS. Support is available 24/7.

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.

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Counseling options 

At times, individuals desire connection but do not have anyone available to turn to. They might be geographically isolated, struggle with developing friendships, or lack social practice. They might also struggle with social anxiety disorder, which involves severe anxiety surrounding social situations. In these cases, an online therapist can be a practical resource if you feel stuck. A mental health professional can help you overcome barriers to connecting with others and build new skills to feel more confident getting out with others and developing genuine relationships.

With an online professional, you can still receive face-to-face social interaction while sitting at home and talking to a therapist through video chat software instead of in their office. For many experiencing social challenges, video chatting can feel more comforting and safer than in-person sessions. If you're not ready to meet over video, some online therapists also offer the option of phone or online chat messaging therapy. 

Platforms like BetterHelp offer a match-based system so individuals can get matched without doing any of the work of looking for an effective provider. In addition, according to clinical studies, online therapy effectively treats a wide array of mental health issues, from social anxiety to depression and PTSD. To sign up for most platforms, you may be asked to complete a short questionnaire and can often get matched with a therapist within 48 hours. 

Takeaway

The quality of your support system can have a significant effect on your levels of happiness. If you worry about reaching out to others in person, online therapy can be one way to open a conversation and start getting to know people. Consider reaching out to a therapist to get started.
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