What Are Some Good Questions To Ask People To Get To Know Them?

Updated February 2, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Sometimes when you meet someone and you want to get to know them, you just do not know what to say. Do you ask them what their favorite color is? Well, that is a start, but it does not really tell you anything about them. Are you afraid to talk to them because you like them, or are you afraid of talking to people in general? If you find that you are afraid to talk to new people, you may have a condition called social anxiety disorder.

It's important to note that struggling to talk to people is not necessarily indicative of a social anxiety disorder. There are many people who are shy in public or may be dealing with other issues which are holding them back in some way. If you find yourself struggling to go out in public because of the worry of having to interact with others—or you struggle to connect in general—you may benefit from being able to work with a licensed therapist online through the comfort of your own home. The good news is that, whether you have a social anxiety disorder or not, the information below can encourage you along a path of social interaction.

It's Often Hard To Form A Bond With Someone You Don't Know Well

Some Good Questions To Ask

If you just want some ideas on how to get to know someone better and want to know what some appropriate questions are, here are some good questions to use:

  • Name one thing you would like to change about yourself

  • What is your biggest pet peeve?

  • If you could be anyone, who would you most like to be?

  • What is your favorite smell?

  • Who is your idol?

  • Do you have any special talents?

  • What is your biggest regret?

  • Do you have any pets?

  • Would you rather go camping or go to a movie?

  • If you could be anything, what would you be?

Things To Know When Getting To Know People

When you are interested in getting to know people, it's important to go about doing it in the proper and appropriate fashion.

Find People With Similar Interests

When you're interested in meeting people, you will find that you will have an easier time by connecting with those who have similar interests and use questions to get to know someone. Of course, people with similar interests are not going to beat a path to your door; you're going to have to get out into the world and go meet them. Thankfully, doing this is very easy. Think about yourself, your hobbies, and your interests. What are you passionate about? What do you love doing? What makes you happy and excited about getting out of bed in the morning? The answers to these questions will be paramount before you can take the next step.

Once you have answered the aforementioned questions, then you can begin to pursue your interests. If you love to exercise, then look into taking a boxing, yoga, or Zumba class at your local fitness center. If you enjoy pottery or art, then look into taking art sessions at a museum near you.  It's unlikely that you will instantly make several friends on your very first day of getting out and doing the things that you love. Finding people with similar interests will require time, commitment, and persistence, but if you stay the course, you will be more than pleased with the subsequent outcome. Volunteering, joining a faith community, or even just taking a walk may also be opportunities to meet new people and make new friends.

It's Often Hard To Form A Bond With Someone You Don't Know Well

Don't Force It

The desire to get out into the world and get to know people is extremely healthy. However, it's important to go about doing this in the right way. This is critical to the manner in which you will be perceived and the outcomes which you'll experience. When you're reaching out and attempting to connect with people, the efforts should be mutual. You should not be constantly overextending yourself while the other individual does nothing to maintain the connection or relationship. When the attempt to get to know someone is mutual, that person will be reaching out to you just as frequently as you're reaching out to them. This is something which you should be aware of when you're out in the world. Meeting and getting to know people takes time.

Try To Carry Yourself With Confidence

When you're getting to know people, it's important for you to realize that they're going to pick up on your aura and the manner in which you carry yourself. Because this is going to happen, you're going to want to carry yourself as a confident, trustworthy, and self-assured individual. If you are desperate or too eager to please, it can show and impact the way others treat you and whether or not they respect you. In a way, this goes back to not trying to force connections and making sure that the attempt to reach out and get to know others in mutual. You will have much more success with getting to know people when you are not desperate and too eager.

What Is Social Anxiety Disorder?

Social anxiety disorder is a common disorder that affects millions of people every day. It can be just a slight case of public speaking concerns that creeps up on you whenever you have to speak in front of a crowd, or it could be so severe that you avoid going out anyplace you may have to talk to people. This can affect your relationships, education, and even your job. If you are avoiding activities like attending parties, shopping in crowded stores, or even going to work, you should consider the possibility that you may have a social anxiety disorder. Some of the signs you have social anxiety disorder include avoiding situations such as:

  • Talking in public

  • Answering a question in class or at a meeting

  • Talking to strangers on the phone

  • Approaching a stranger in a store for help

  • Going to a job interview

Physical Symptoms

Besides the mental signs of social anxiety disorder, there are many physical symptoms as well. The majority of people who have social anxiety disorder experience symptoms such as:

  • Anxiety

  • Sweating

  • Heart palpitations (being aware of your heartbeat)

  • Extreme fear

  • Nausea

  • Blushing

  • Vomiting

  • Diarrhea

  • Dizziness or lightheadedness

  • Trembling or shaking

  • Frequent urination

  • Hot flashes

  • Stuttering

  • Dry mouth

Talking About It Can Help

Meeting people can be an intimidating idea, but—through building yourself up, focusing on hobbies and passions, and showing you are confident and genuine through the way you carry yourself and the questions you ask—it doesn’t have to be. You may think that because of your social anxiety disorder, or just a general shyness, you will not be able to talk to anyone about what you are experiencing. However, if you are too uncomfortable speaking to someone in person, there are plenty of online therapy websites where you talk to someone online or by phone, and some even offer to text, emailing, or video chatting.

At BetterHelp.com, you can be matched with one of over 2,000 experienced and licensed therapists that can help you 24/7.

For additional help & support with your concerns

The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet Started