How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone

Updated October 03, 2018

Reviewer Elizabeth Strong


Obsession can be defined as constant focus of energy on something or someone to a degree where it causes harmful consequences. It can take many forms, such as an obsession with shopping or gambling or even an obsession with another person. Some obsessions can stem from an experience with someone that affects an individual so much that he or she becomes passionate about that person. It can be difficult to figure out how to stop obsessing over someone, as something in your brain may be compulsively bringing these thoughts to the foreground.

While most of us would agree that growth in a relationship is the ultimate goal, people often have different views of what this looks like. Additionally, one party may be more invested in the relationship than another, or not be in tune with the other person's love language, which is when the obsession can blossom. Lack of effective love translation, or lack of interest, can lead the more love-hungry party yearning for more.

How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone

You can live a normal life and be obsessed with someone you are really interested in, like being a fan of a famous actor. What you need to understand is that when you take this obsession to an extreme level, things can become unbalanced and very harmful.

It is important to be mindful about your thoughts regarding the individual. If you find that you are unable to stop thinking about him or her, it could be that you are on the path to obsession and need to figure out some strategies to let go of the nagging thoughts in your head.


It can be helpful to distract yourself from your obsessive thoughts and engage in other activities that promote self-improvement. They can allow you to see that there are important things in life other than your obsessive thoughts.

Redirecting your attention towards something other than another person can be a good way to healthily distract from your obsession. The process of self-discovery can happen in leaps or tip-toes, having the propensity to heal you and serve to identify the obstacles that are preventing you from loving yourself. Spending time alone, making time for physical exercise, and sticking to a nourishing diet are all base line ways of beginning to take care of yourself.

Breaking the Stigma


A too common occurrence is that of taking our mental health for granted, and not recognizing that we all must take steps and precautions to be feeling and functioning at our best. Online interfaces like BetterHelp have surfaced in response to the gap in access to quality mental health care. Building a healthy relationship can be a lonely path for those who aren't in touch with what they want out of life and love or are stuck in how to communicate this to their partner. BetterHelp and its licensed, knowledgeable therapists can help!

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