Common “Why Do I” Questions Many Of Us Want Answers To

Many people seek the answers to questions like, “Why do I exist?” and “Why do I push people away?” Often, the answers to these types of questions can be very nuanced and variable, depending on your background and personality. In many cases, if you’d like individualized insight into various “Why do I” questions, speaking with a licensed mental health professional can be illuminating. Attending online or in-person therapy sessions can help you discover answers to your questions and address any concerns you may be experiencing. 

Why do I hate myself?

Many people struggle with negative thoughts and emotions about themselves. Self-hatred can limit what you’re able to achieve and exacerbate mental health conditions, such as mood disorders and anxiety. 

Self-hated symptoms can include:

• All-or-nothing thinking, where you rarely see shades of gray, and everything tends to be all positive or all negative with no middle ground
• Low self-esteem
• An inability to accept praises
• Persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, and hopelessness
• Difficulty taking pleasure in things you once enjoyed (anhedonia) 

Self-hatred can stem from a variety of causes, and it can be helpful to speak with a licensed mental health professional to determine the factors contributing to your negative feelings toward yourself.

Why do I think about dying?

Thinking about the concept of death can be a normal part of the human experience, but frequent thoughts of wishing to die can indicate the need for professional treatment.

If you or a loved one are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 988 and is available 24/7.

Why do I exist?

People have likely been pondering the meaning of human existence for millennia, and we still may not have a conclusive answer. The topic of existence can raise many profound questions about metaphysics, language, and philosophical logic. While the purpose of life can be subjective, it may contribute to your belief system, shape your behaviors, and build your ideas regarding what may come next. 

Why do I have no friends?

Often, a lack of friends can be related to a fear of interacting with others. It’s possible that you may have a social anxiety disorder if you experience an extreme fear of being judged or watched by others. Symptoms typically center around intense feelings of fear, shyness, and anxiety in social and performance situations. You may worry about being judged for your appearance, behavior, or speech. It can be hard to make friends when you don’t feel comfortable, and many people with social anxiety disorders have difficulty being calm in situations involving new people. However, therapy can often be helpful. 

Why do I indulge in self-destructive behavior?

Have you ever done something knowing it would result in a negative outcome? Self-destructive behavior can be defined as taking action that is sure to cause harm, either emotionally or physically. This behavior may include binge eating, compulsive activities like gambling, risky or impulsive sexual behavior, alcohol and substance use, self-injury, and other harmful behaviors. Emotional dysregulation often leads to self-destructive behavior, and it can be a symptom of several mental health conditions, such as mood and anxiety disorders. 

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.

Why do I talk to myself?

Many people talk to themselves. Whether they are thinking out loud, debating decisions, or combating loneliness by creating a presence through external self-talk, talking to oneself can help in various ways. You may make a verbal note to remind yourself of something you don’t want to forget, give yourself a pep talk to overcome challenges or promise yourself a reward for finishing an important task. Your self-talk can be a critical part of your cognitive consciousness, and it’s not usually cause for concern.

Why do I push people away?

Emotional intimacy can be a scary topic for many people. You may fear giving someone the power to hurt you deeply, feel unsure as to how to establish and maintain healthy emotional connections, or lack the emotional literacy to communicate your feelings and needs to the important people in your life. For some people, miscommunication may be at the center of things, and others may have developed an attachment style in their early lives that makes it difficult to connect with or rely on others. You may notice that you tend to push people away or sabotage relationships when things get too serious. Working with a therapist can help you get to the bottom of why you may be pushing people away.

Why do I hurt people I love?

While the human brain can be a complex natural wonder, it often works in strange ways. Some people find that they hurt the ones they love without necessarily knowing why. We may lash out at our loved ones in the hopes that they will respond with the love, attention, or understanding we crave. 

Sometimes, you may lash out at the people closest to you because they are the ones closest to you, and thus, there’s likely to be a high amount of emotional intimacy between you. When you feel assured in your relationships, it can be easier to express your emotions freely, which may lead you to hurt the people you love in some situations. Learning to communicate in an effective and healthy way, as well as finding healthy outlets for challenging emotions, can be beneficial. 

Why do I feel worried all the time?

Worry can be a typical—and temporary—emotion that everyone tends to feel sometimes. However, some people have trouble processing their feelings of anxiety and fear, and those emotions can linger, often growing more intense over time. Anxiety frequently serves as your body’s danger detection system, warning you of potential threats through physical reactions, such as increasing your heart rate to allow you to run away more efficiently. If you have an anxiety disorder, your body and brain may be convinced you’re always facing a threat, and your stress reactions may be stuck in fight-or-flight mode. 

Why do I have trouble managing my anger?

If you have difficulty controlling your anger, consider anger management therapy to help you learn practical, effective ways to control your emotions. One of the most successful ways to control emotion can be understanding the underlying issues that frequently cause anger. These reactions are often learned. For instance, children who grow up in a home with lots of fighting may carry those behaviors into adulthood, potentially repeating the cycle with their own families. Anger can be a standard human emotion that everyone may experience from time to time, but it can be crucial to process and manage it in a healthy way.

Why do I feel sad so often?

Many people experience feelings of sadness, but in general, they shouldn’t be overwhelming or interfere with your ability to function in multiple areas of your life. According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression can be a common but serious mental health condition that can negatively affect how people feel, think, and act. Mood disorders like depression can lead to physical and emotional problems while presenting obstacles to your ability to function at work, school, home, relationships, or other areas of your life. However, depression can be very treatable with therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes.

Why do I have so much trouble sleeping?

Sleep disorders can cause changes to your sleep patterns and quality. If you notice that you’re having trouble falling or staying asleep, consider contacting your healthcare provider to ask about an assessment for a sleep disorder. However, if you have trouble winding down at night or stay awake due to anxious thoughts, then a mental health concern could be contributing to your insomnia. In some cases, prolonged sleep deprivation can substantially impact your safety, quality of life, and overall well-being, so it can be important to seek treatment.

Know when to reach out for help

Many people don’t fully understand why they act the way they do, but exploring your behaviors with the support and guidance of a mental health professional can be helpful. 

Benefits of online therapy

Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp tend to offer convenient, manageable treatment options, generally at lower costs and with shorter wait times than traditional in-person therapy. With an online therapy platform, it can be quick and easy to find a professional who specializes in the particular concerns you’re currently living with.

A growing body of evidence suggests that online therapy is typically as effective as in-person therapy at treating a wide variety of mental health disorders and challenges. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for the professional help you deserve.