How To Get Over Someone You Never Dated Quickly

Updated January 10, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Getting over someone you had an unfulfilled crush on is similar to other relationship disappointments. It is possible to put a lot of hopes and dreams on someone, even obsess over them, only to find that they are not interested. Unfortunately, when the relationship never got started, you may be the only one suffering. The good news is you can learn how to get over a crush on someone you never dated.

Learning How To Get Over Someone You Never Dated 

The first thing you need to do once you find out that a relationship is impossible is tell yourself the truth. Admit that the other person does not reciprocate your feelings and you need to learn how to forget someone you love. This is essential to moving on and finding happiness for yourself. If you keep hanging onto the idea that your crush might come around, you are taking away other chances for yourself.

Sometimes, when we have a crush on someone, we can get so caught up in the idea of them that we lose sight of the reality of them and their feelings toward us. Suppose you are unable to let go of your hopes for potential relationships and unable to accept that your crush is not interested in a relationship. In that case, you can become stuck.

Instead, focus on you. Focus people who are not your unrequited crush. If there is a possibility that this person may have an interest one day, then you can revisit your feelings if that ever happens. But it's best to move on for now. It is important that you respect the boundaries your crush has set.

Even if there's a possibility your crush may want to move forward in a romantic relationship with you at some point in the future, you will potentially eliminate that possibility if you continue to push the issue and disrespect their boundaries. Chances are that there are other amazing people around you who may be interested in you; however, if you are unable to see past your crush, you may miss out on another amazing relationship.

Are You Having Trouble Moving On After Unrequited Love?

Some Quick Ways To Get Over Someone 

It may seem like you are never going to get over this person you were obsessed with. And sure, it can be tough never having realized the fantasy of being with them. But you will have new interests in the future, some that you may even be able to enjoy more fully than an infatuation from a distance. So, try these quick tips for moving forward and forgetting about your old crush.

Feel What You Feel

First, allow yourself to be honest about what you're feeling. Just because your emotions didn't mean anything to the other person does not mean they weren't real for you. If you need to take a day off and lay in bed crying, then do that. You can have this brief time. Postponing your grief only means you'll carry it with you longer. One day, you will have to face it, so face it now.

It is certainly possible to have very real feelings of grief even if there never was a romantic relationship. When we have crushes on someone, often we also have hopes and dreams about what a potential relationship would be like. Even if those hopes and dreams don't align with who our crush really is or their true feelings about us, we still grieve the hopes we had for the relationship. It's okay to allow yourself to feel the disappointment, sadness, and other emotions. 

Sometimes these emotions may feel stronger than we anticipated because there was no relationship, but if we ignore these emotions, they will just end up resurfacing later and may even impact our future relationships.

Avoid Being Where Your Crush Is

Once you realize that you and your crush are not going to be in a relationship together, your emotions can be all over the place. It may be heart-wrenching for you to be around them, even if they have no clue. So, until you are feeling closer to normal, try not to hang out where you know they'll be and avoid talking to them or texting them.

If you are continuing to engage in your crush, it can trigger emotions and keep you stuck in a fantasy about them instead of accepting things as they are. If you are honest with yourself and realize that you still are hoping a romantic relationship with your crush may work out, then continuing to have contact with them will likely lead to reading too much into your interactions together and can keep you stuck in a fantasy. Taking a break will give you time to grieve and heal so that you can move on to a relationship with someone who values you as much as you value them.

Spend Time With People You Care About

You may have put a lot of your focus on your crush recently. Now is the time to remember that you have other friends and family who want your attention and care about you. Say yes to that lunch date with your best friend or meeting up after work with co-workers.

No one likes being rejected. It can be a hard pill to swallow. Rejection can also leave us with insecurities and feeling unsure about ourselves. Spending time with family and friends can help remind you of all your wonderful qualities and that although things didn't work out with your crush, it does not mean that you don't have a lot to offer.

Take Time Before Searching For A New Relationship

It's easy to fall into a pattern of seeking another object for your attention when a potential relationship falls through. Take time to be you before looking for a new relationship. Unfortunately, everyone's dating life will include rejection at least on some level. Rejection, although difficult, is something that we all will have to learn to navigate at one time or another. When you can find a sense of worth and confidence from within, it can help you to move on from failed dating hopefuls more gracefully.

If you find yourself having difficulty moving past a crush even after time has passed, it could be a sign that you may need to take some time to build your self-esteem from within as opposed to attention from outside sources. Just because one person does not return your feelings does not mean you are undesirable or incapable of being loved. In fact, you probably avoided a bad situation with someone who would not have appreciated you for who you truly are.

The reality is that even if your crush wanted to pursue a relationship with you, it still does not mean that the fantasy you've imagined in your mind would become a reality. It is important to remember that having a crush on someone does not mean that we really know them: most often fantasies are just fantasies. When we are looking at someone from the outside, we only get to see the polished version of themselves they present in public. The reality is that even our crushes have flaws.

Surround yourself with people who like the real you and don't be afraid to seek help from a professional therapist if you need to talk about it. Talking to a therapist can help you rebuild your confidence so you can get on with finding someone who sees all your worth and value.

Are You Having Trouble Moving On After Unrequited Love?

Therapy really is a good way to move on after heartache: research has proven it. In part, that’s because it helps you figure out who you are. Research has also shown that online therapy, when it comes to common types of talk therapy for issues that are not severe, works just as well as traditional face-to-face therapy.

Online therapy also has some great benefits. If you’re feeling sad, you may not yet feel up to getting ready and getting out of the house. With online therapy, you don’t have to. You can connect with a counselor from a comfortable space where you have a reliable internet connection. That also means you don’t need to worry about someone seeing you head into an office. If you’re ready to get started, online therapy typically connects you with a counselor faster than a traditional office as well. With an office, you may have to go on a waiting list, but BetterHelp connects most people within 24 hours.

Here are some recent reviews by BetterHelp users about their counselors:

“Susan is compassionate, understanding, and very easy to talk to, even about very difficult topics. She listens without judgment and helps me better understand myself and my relationships. She is great about pointing out my strengths and encouraging me to be kinder to myself, which has helped me develop my self-esteem. I always feel heard and respected during our sessions. Susan is wonderful!” 

“The depth of Karen's insight about my relationships and my personal traits/issues literally astounds me. Through video calls and messaging we have made more progress than I have ever had in counselling, and I feel confident I will achieve my goals working with her. The experience has exceeded my expectations significantly.” 

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