How To Stop Being Nervous: Techniques For The Reduction Of Nervousness

The symptoms of nervousness or anxiety can be uncomfortable and might include sweaty palms, a racing heart rate, and an upset stomach. While some nervousness may be productive and boost performance, experiencing a higher-than-optimal level of nervousness can be detrimental or a symptom of anxiety disorders. To address this, we’ve listed a few steps you can use to learn how to not be nervous in your daily life.

Techniques to overcome nervousness

There are many causes for nervousness. For example, perhaps you have a presentation, a significant assessment, a playoff game, or a huge party coming up. When you are having pre-performance nerves before an event, you might be experiencing anticipatory anxiety, which is a fear of what has not yet happened. Anticipatory anxiety often signals a chain reaction in your body's stress response. While this is a normal reaction to have, it can create unpleasant physical side effects like increased blood pressure or sweating. 

The reasons behind your nervousness may not be as crucial as the steps you take to control your nervous system. Below are a few techniques for overcoming these nervous feelings. 

Exercise

When you feel nervous, exercise may help you regain a sense of calm and improve your physical and mental health. Next time you are feeling nervous or afraid, try any of the following activities: 

• Going for a walk
• Running or jogging
• Working out at the gym
• Attending a yoga class
• Playing a sport
• Swimming

These activities can help you blow off steam and feel less nervous. If you often feel a sense of worry or nervousness outside specific scenarios, try incorporating physical activity into your schedule. During exercise, you may breathe more deeply, filling your lungs with oxygen and steadying your breath. If you cannot exercise, practicing deep breathing can also be effective.

Take care of your needs

People may sometimes feel more nervous when they have not attended to certain physical and emotional needs, like getting enough sleep or saying no to another obligation when they are already pressed for time. Identifying areas of your life that need attention, whether focusing on getting proper sleep or setting boundaries, may be worthwhile. 

Certain situations or relationships could exist where you feel the other person takes more than they give. Consider limiting your contact or letting them know what you cannot offer in these cases. Add an exercise routine or spend time outdoors to keep your mind busy. Devoting attention to acknowledging any emotional concerns (and learning healthy ways to overcome them) can lead you to feel more relaxed at the end of the day.  

Use positive visualization

Positive visualization may help you overcome nervousness in several situations, like starting a new job or speaking in front of a crowd. The concept involves closing your eyes and imagining success in the situation you're nervous about. Create vivid images using your imagination while simultaneously trying to incorporate your other senses. What would you see, smell, feel, and hear in this situation?

Before you knowingly go into a situation you expect to make you nervous, it may help you also to imagine the worst scenario and how you'd positively cope with it. You may realize that whatever happens, there is a solution. The anxious brain often focuses on the worst possible scenario. However, situations can have multiple solutions. Recognize that the nerves you feel have started from a thought you are creating about what might or could happen, not necessarily what will occur.  

If you're struggling to keep your nervousness in perspective, ask yourself the following questions: 

• How much will this matter to me tomorrow? 
• How much will this matter to me a year from now?
• What positive opportunities could I still have if this didn't work out? 
• What positive traits led me to this opportunity now? 
• How can I use those same positive traits to ensure success in the future, regardless of the outcome of today? 

Try meditation, mindfulness, or breathing exercises

Breathing exercises and meditation are other effective ways to confront nervousness and help you feel calmer and more grounded.

One such exercise is to find a quiet, comfortable place to sit. Close your eyes to start. Pay attention to what you feel in your body and start tuning into your breath, gently bringing your focus back if your mind wanders. It can be natural for the mind to wander, so notice your thoughts without judgment and bring your attention back to the sensation of air flowing in and out of your lungs through your nose.

Taking a few full, slow breaths in and out can also help you stay calm when your blood pressure rises. It may also be beneficial to take deep breaths before participating in an activity that makes you nervous.

Grow your self-confidence

If you experience anxiety related to social events or performing in public, you might be experiencing challenges with self-confidence. You may feel inadequate getting along with others, delivering a speech, participating in a job interview, or any other potentially tense social experience. It can also be common to feel worried that anxiety may cause you to act in a way that would be inappropriate in public, even if you wouldn't act that way due to your morals.  

Often, if you feel well-equipped to handle the situation and use positive self-talk, it can help reduce your nervousness. One way to become more self-confident is by giving yourself a pep talk, during which you remind yourself of your unique strengths and abilities instead of comparing yourself to others. You can also try reciting positive affirmations each morning. 

In addition, try to remind yourself that no one knows what you are thinking and feeling from looking at you. They might not notice you're nervous unless you let them know. The feeling that you are doing something wrong and everyone is looking at you is called the "fishbowl" phenomenon. You may have thoughts like, "Everyone will know I am nervous," or "People will see that I am not prepared." However, others might not be as preoccupied with your body language, inner emotions, and perception as you are. They could be feeling nervous about themselves as well. 

Practice

If you are nervous about speaking at a wedding, pitching an idea to your boss, or performing a skill-based activity, practice! Ensuring you are well prepared may help you feel calm and confident going into the activity. You can give yourself as much time as you need before the event to practice, and some people may find practicing in front of a friend or family helpful. 

Talk to a counselor

A counselor can help you pinpoint the source of your nervousness and guide you toward a healthier perspective. They may suggest alternative ways to mitigate your nervousness or help you realize your thoughts that may contribute to anxiety. If you feel nervous about seeing a counselor in person, you might also try online therapy. 

Online therapy for support with nervousness

Online counseling services like BetterHelp are alternatives to face-to-face counseling for people who prefer the idea of chatting with a licensed professional through the Internet in a safe environment. The ability to schedule appointments from your comfort zone (your house, your parked car, etc.) can mean you may avoid potential inciting events that could cause anxiety, like traffic, dense crowds, or the prospect of being late for an appointment. 

Research also highlights the efficacy of online therapy in helping people overcome their nervousness or anxiety. In one study, clinicians utilized an online acceptance-based behavior therapy model to treat 14 adults diagnosed with generalized social anxiety disorder. Results showed improvements in social anxiety symptoms and overall quality of life.