Does He Really Love The Other Woman? Coming To Terms With Infidelity
By: Robert Porter
Updated October 20, 2021
Being betrayed by someone that you love with all your heart is perhaps the worst feeling in the world. When your partner cheats on you with someone else, it’s difficult to come to terms with what has happened. If you’re a woman in a committed relationship or a marriage, then you might even be wondering “does he really love the other woman?” It’s normal to ask yourself these questions in order to try to make sense of what is going on.
The problem is that there won’t always be answers to the burning questions that are going through your head. Some people just cheat for no reason and other people cheat on their partners for the thrill. It’s possible that your partner might be in love with someone else but they also might have made a horrible mistake that they hope to find forgiveness for. Finding the answers to what is going on with your relationship will likely take time and this will take an emotional toll on you.
Take a look at the information below to learn a bit more about what it takes to come to terms with infidelity. It should give you some insight into what other people have done to get over problems like this. You’ll also be able to think about how this relates to your situation. Over time, you’ll be able to determine whether you want to try to rebuild your relationship or if it’s time to leave your significant other.
Allow Yourself to Heal
Infidelity is something that can totally throw you for a loop. This is going to make you feel as if your whole world is turned upside down. It’s even worse when you completely trusted your significant other and never thought that something like this could occur. You shouldn’t force yourself to try to talk to your partner or to make important decisions right away. You really need some time to heal.
It might be best to take some time apart from your partner in order to sort out your own feelings. You likely feel completely betrayed and you might be angry. People go through a wide range of different emotions when they’re dealing with infidelity issues. Allow yourself to feel all of them and turn to people that you can trust for support. This is a time in your life when you need close friends and family members to step up to the plate for you emotionally.
Spend time talking to people that you love and try to let yourself feel better. The infidelity might be the only thing that’s on your mind at first. If you have people that you can vent to, then it might help you to feel better emotionally. Take some time for yourself and just get things straight in your own head before you proceed with making big life decisions.
Don’t Try to Get Even by Cheating Yourself
Sometimes people who have been cheated on feel the need to go out and get revenge. This is really not going to be an emotionally healthy way to deal with things. You might want to lash out and hurt your partner by sleeping with someone else. It might even seem like a good or desirable idea at the moment. However, this is only going to hurt you in the long run.
You need to address the problems in your relationship so that you can move on. Whether you’re going to be leaving your partner or if you’re going to try to work things out, it’s important to be strong. Doing something like cheating on your partner to get revenge is beneath you. If you want to leave your partner and find someone new, then that’s perfectly acceptable. You should just be mature enough to take the right steps first.
Just because your partner did something wrong doesn’t mean that you need to sink to that level. Don’t feel bad if you’ve had thoughts of getting revenge, though. Everyone is human and it’s normal to want to lash out when you’ve been hurt by infidelity. Let yourself feel things but try not to act on impulses to get revenge.
Have a Conversation When You’re Ready
When you’re emotionally ready to have a conversation with your partner, it’s going to be time to have a talk. You likely have many questions about why they cheated on you. Now is the time to ask them and to tell them how what they did made you feel. You should be open and honest during this conversation while being prepared for things to get very emotional.
This is a tough situation to be in but you have to try your best to get through this conversation. Listen to what your partner has to say and try not to resort to name-calling or berating them if you can help it. Once they’ve answered your questions, you can tell them how you’re feeling and what’s going through your head. You probably shouldn’t decide the fate of your relationship right away unless you’ve truly made up your mind already.
It might be good to think about this conversation and what was said for a few days. If your partner apologized and asked for you to consider staying with them, then it’s up to you if you want to entertain the idea. You’re going to want to consider what would make you happy and what it would take to overcome infidelity in your relationship. Consider whether you can move forward and then have another conversation at a later date.
Ensure That Both You and Your Partner Take STD Tests
It’s also important to note that you should go out and get an STD test. If your partner has been cheating on you, then there’s the possibility that you could have been exposed to an STD. You’ll also want your partner to get tested, especially if you have any plans of getting back together. This is an important step that you need to take even if you’re uncomfortable asking your doctor about it.
Remember that your doctor has ethical standards and they aren’t going to discuss the fact that you got an STD test with anybody. It’s normal to be embarrassed about needing to get tested but you shouldn’t let that prevent you from learning the truth. If you do have an STD, then you’ll need to be treated. If nothing shows up then you’ll be able to feel happy knowing that you at least avoided complications in that area.
Decide Whether or Not You Can Move Forward Together
Now that you’ve gone through all of the other steps, it’s time to decide whether or not you can move forward together as a couple. You need to ask yourself whether or not you still love your partner and if you think you could ever trust them again. If you want to move on and find someone new, then that’s totally acceptable and your partner will have to live with the fact that they ruined the relationship.
There are couples that have been able to get through infidelity issues, too. You can decide to work on the problems in your relationship and to try to rebuild your trust levels. It’s not necessarily going to be simple to do but it might be worth it if you want to keep your partner in your life. Just be honest with yourself and trust that your instincts will lead you to make the right decision.
Consider Online Couples Therapy
Take the time to consider online couples therapy if you want to try to work on your relationship. If you wish to move forward together after your partner was unfaithful, then it’s not always going to be simple. Having the help of skilled online therapists will be able to make a difference. They can help you to work on the issues that are present in your relationship or marriage. Learning to communicate better and working on building your trust levels again after your partner cheated will take time.
The strength of your relationship might allow you to continue and push past infidelity. Compassionate online therapists will work with you and your partner to improve your relationship. This might help you to get the answers that you’re seeking so that you can build a future together. Not everyone is able to move past infidelity, but if you want to give it a shot, it’s best to do so with online therapists by your side.
This is going to be the most convenient way to get therapy, too. You’re going to be able to participate in therapy from the comfort of your own home. If you’re worried about people knowing that you’re attending therapy, then this is the perfect option. It’s as discreet as possible and you don’t have to be concerned about people seeing you walking into a therapist’s office.
It’s also great for busy professionals who need to attend therapy at flexible times. You don’t have to worry about issues such as normal office hours when attending therapy sessions online. You’re able to reach out at any time in order to get the couples counseling that you need. Set things up today so that you can start moving forward. It might not be an easy road ahead but you’ll have skilled therapists to help you navigate all of the twists and turns.
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