How To Find True Love That Never Dies

By Stephanie Kirby|Updated August 11, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Debra Halseth, LCSW
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True Love Never Dies

"True love never dies. It only gets stronger with time." That's a nice saying that everyone would like to believe, but how true is it? Is it just a love story? It's comforting to think that there could be a love relationship that would just grow stronger over time, especially in spite of all the post-divorce drama that is rampant in society today. At times, the thought of a long-lasting romantic relationship can seem impossible. Some people think that true love is something you either find or you don't. But, in reality, when love never dies, it's because it was something that was chosen and fought for, not something that was simply uncovered from a sign.

The Myth of True Love

Fairy tales sign for us a picture of what we believe true love should look like. It's something magical and special that we think we can find out in the world. So we believe that when we find a sign of true love, it should be perfect, and that true love never dies. There would be no hurt and no pain in the relationship nor a broken heart. That other person would be the perfect person for us, just like Prince Charming. However, that's just not the way that it works. Real love is work. Many people seem to wait an eternity for a sign to have these feelings fulfilled.

When we believe that true love is something that we have to find, we can end up throwing away a relationship that would make us happy long-term because we are searching for something that doesn't exist. This is one of the reasons why there are so many divorces in the world. Two people get married believing that they have found true love as a sign. Then, when the problems arise that are normal in a marriage, they think that they have made a mistake. So, they file for divorce and continue their search for true love, believing that true love never dies. By this reasoning, they must not have found the right person to love in the first place.

This myth about the signs of true love is dangerous for relationships. It’s one reason why people continue leaving one relationship in search of another. Yes, some people are a better for you than others, but there is no perfect person. And if you want a true love that never dies, you are going to have to work at it, no matter who it is with.

True Love Never Dies: Here's What That Looks Like

In fairy tales, true love arrives as a sign in the matter of Prince Charming riding in on a white stallion and sweeping the princess away with an open heart. There is no time to wait and there is nothing lost. He takes her out of the challenging or bad situation that she was in, and they live happily ever after. Their lives will never be the same in every sense, their feelings are eternal in spirit, and they feel like nothing else matters and there is nothing to lose. In real life, true love resembles this very little. Instead, love that never dies is formed when two people commit to each other for the long haul, in both the good and bad times.

It Can Be Hard To Reach Out For Help When We Need It

True Love Is Overcoming the Obstacles

When you love someone, and you are committed to them, you are willing to stay with them even during the rough times. You work together to get through the challenges in your relationship instead of bailing when other people would. This also means that true love involves lots of forgiveness. You will never find a person that you can truly love without having to forgive. And, they will have to do the same for you. Instead of keeping score of who is right and who is wrong, focus on working together to make the relationship right. There is no winner or loser in true love.

True Love Requires You To Be Selfless

As people, we naturally want to get our way. But, if you always demand your way in your relationship with your significant other, you will quickly put obstacles in the way that will be hard for your relationship to overcome. When you truly love someone, you put their needs before your own. You look for ways to make them happy and to make their dreams come true. You know that when they achieve and succeed in their goals, you do as well. This goes beyond feelings.

True Love Is Deeply Committed

True love of the heart means that you put that other person above not only yourself but above other people as well. You cannot wait an eternity or for a sign to start making a partner a priority. There is a leap of faith involved. You do not risk your relationship for the swift affection of another, which would be destroying trust in sadness by definition. This means you create boundaries when needed to protect your relationship which can be a slow or fast process. It means that you build in boundaries before problems arise, so you limit having to deal with issues in the first place. You are faithful to each other emotionally and physically. You look and learn to meet their needs and only look to them to meet yours.

True Love Invests In the Other Person

This means that you spend time together doing the things that they like to do, even when you don't enjoy them. It may seem like an eternity if you hate the task at present, but there is nothing to lose. See it as a symbol or sign that you invested. It means that you spend quality time together looking for activities and hobbies that can connect the two of you. You enter into their world, and you allow them to enter into yours. Investing in the other person also means that you look for ways to build them up and help them grow. You invest into the person you love with your time, money, energy, and mind.

True Love Never Dies: How To Find It

The trick to finding a true love that never dies is realizing that it is something to be made. Falling in love is easy. Falling in love is based purely on emotion, and it is not something that you have to work hard to do. However, staying in love, and keeping love alive, is something that requires work. It is something that you have to choose to do.

Your first step is finding the person in whom you want to invest as a partner. This will be a partner who you love, who you can't imagine life without, and who makes you want to be a better person. This person will be not only your true love but your best friend. In the beginning, things will seem easy. Soon, there will be a need for commitment, such as meeting parents, family, and friends.

As your relationship progresses, challenges will come for you and your partner. You have plenty to lose, and your feelings may be intense. Children are trying on a relationship, and a relationship post children often faces struggles. If you want to form a true love that never dies, you have to commit your heart and your mind to overcoming those challenges. That means that your relationship needs to be built on trust and not just emotions of the soul, so you know that the other person is doing the same. If you do not trust someone out of fear, it will be hard to overcome the normal challenges the relationship will face.

If You Want To Experience What "True Love Never Dies" Means, Remember These Things:

  1. You need to be selfless and put the other person first.
  2. Forgiveness is a must. You need to be willing to forgive them for their mistakes even if you fear it.
  3. You need to be willing to ask for forgiveness when you make a mistake.
  4. Good communication is one of the keys. You need to always work on having open and honest communication.
  5. You need to persevere when things get tough. It is important to stay on the path before, during, and post the stressful life events.
  6. Your focus is on what's good and right about the other person instead of their shortcomings, and you learn to rejoice with what they have to offer.
  7. You respect their opinion over others.
  8. Your focus is on showing love and not on demanding it for yourself.
  9. You never play the game of "if you do this, then I'll do that."
  10. You share your dreams, create dreams together, and make their dreams your own.

The last point to leave you with a section of a famous poem by Henry van Dyke. Henry van Dyke was an American author who lived from 1852-1933. He wrote, “Time is / Too slow for those who Wait, / Too swift for those who Fear, / Too long for those who Grieve, / Too short for those who Rejoice, / But for those who Love, / Time is not.”

The Hard Part Of Love

One of the hardest parts of true love of the heart is that it can be one-sided. You can put in that effort into your relationship and have all the emotions of love, and the other person might not do the same for you. It is also difficult to have a true love that never dies in a world of imperfect people. Forgiveness is hard but necessary in relationships; this may seem obvious, but it is true. There may be many fights or even a war so to speak, but every relationship has rough patches. If the divide can be managed is for you to define.  If you are in a relationship that is struggling due to loss of trust or any other issue, seeking help from a licensed therapist to talk to is a wise decision to try to bridge the gap. Whether you do couples counseling or a one-on-one session yourself, a third party can make all the difference in helping you to see your relationship from the outside in. Another area where love never dies comes into play is through grief. Many people struggle to grieve, such as with the five stages of grief from David Kessler, and it is natural to need help with a grieving process when love never dies post losing someone but keeping the memory in your heart.

It Can Be Hard To Reach Out For Help When We Need It

Couples or relationship counseling is more accessible for partners than ever with online platforms like BetterHelp. Some partners do have reservations about seeking help remotely. But a recent study identified numerous advantages of online couples therapy for partners. Subjects reported the ability to become fully immersed in the therapy experience while sitting in a familiar setting.

True love requires that you practice self love, not just love for your partner. Louise Hay was celebrated for her affirmations of loving yourself first, and she said, “Love is never outside ourselves; love is within us.” It is healthy to seek help to practice self love for many people, and that can be a part of therapy too. Self love is something to work on for a lifetime to build a future with, and it often results in future partners.

If you are experiencing issues with your partner with anything from post infidelity arguments to issues with children, online therapy can help turn things around. You will be able to seek advice and treatment from an experienced counselor to discuss issues with your relationship and partner. What’s more, you can more easily find a time that works for everyone’s schedules to do so. Read about what others have to say regarding their experience with BetterHelp below.

“Janie has been listening to my concerns and the things that are affecting me and my relationship. We have just started working together but she has given me a lot of good things to think about, recommended some reading, and is going to send me some prompts to think of ways to phrase my questions and thoughts to my wife in ways that do not make her fell that I am attacking her or that she needs to be defensive. I look forward to continuing to work with Janie to hopefully save my marriage.”

“Mrs. Carter is an excellent counselor. She listens and give great advice and pointers. It's only been about 3 weeks in counseling and she has helped my wife and I tremendously.”

True love that never dies happens when you realize that it is not something you are going to find. It is something that you will need to create. And this will not just occur one time, but every day, over and over again with the same person.

When you see that elderly couple walking hand in hand on the sidewalk, it looks so sweet. It's easy to think how nice it is that they must have found their true love many years ago. But, they did not reach that point because they got lucky and found their true love. They reached that point because they have weathered the test of time. They have stood together through the challenges, cried together, laughed together, and persevered together. And, they have come closer together because of it.

This is the true love that never dies. It is not something to be found. It's something to be worked towards, day in and day out, in the good times and the bad.

Questions People Commonly Ask

Is it true that true love never dies?
Why does some love never die?
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Does true love exist?
Do first loves last forever?
Why does first love hurt so much?
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Why do first loves fail?
What are signs of true love?
What true love feels like?

 

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