How You Can Find True Love That Will Never Die

Medically reviewed by Karen Foster, LPC
Updated April 24, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

While the definition of true love can vary widely, healthy love often involves respect, trust, honesty, communication, compatibility, and understanding. You might find true love by looking for partnership, being yourself, taking things slowly, maintaining an open mind, taking care of yourself, and focusing on effective communication. If you’re experiencing difficulty in your quest for true love, speaking with a licensed therapist may be helpful. 

What is true love?

True love can be a concept with many interpretations. The idea that real love can mean something different to everyone and remain true can be a valid point that supports the idea that no two stories of love are exactly alike. 

Despite its complexity, true love can capture a universal sentiment that has inspired a sense of wonder for a large part of human history, enduring in nearly every culture around the world and throughout time. What constitutes real love for one person may not perfectly copy what others experience, but there can be an inherent benefit of connection in our lives no matter how it is ultimately achieved.

In general, true love can be about accepting understanding for every unique relationship, regardless of its expressions and differences.

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Real love in popular culture

Popular culture often presents us with an idealized version of true love, in many cases showing that true love can only be achieved if you finally find that “one right person.” The relationships we see in movies and television shows are typically passionate, perfectly timed, and without a hint of conflict or disagreement. 

However, this often contributes to an unrealistic expectation that these relationships can be replicated in our lives. Each person may experience true love or feel love uniquely; no two relationships may manifest in the same way. Similar misrepresentations may be provided by people who consider themselves “relationship experts.” It can be a good idea not to take any advice you hear from someone without formal training or licensure. This doesn’t necessarily mean these people won’t be able to help you identify some red flags, but it's possible they may be operating off of the stereotypes we often see in popular culture. 

Comparing our experiences to the ones we see popularized can be damaging if those comparisons lead to feelings of inadequacy. All types of relationships usually require work from both parties. In general, effort must be put in for a bond to form and for partners to remain committed and connected.

What to look for when looking for true affection

When searching for true love, one may look for selflessness, trustworthiness, and genuine connection. You may also want to look for someone who gets along with the people in your life. In many cases, your friends and family members can be good judges of a potential partner’s character. True love sometimes means accepting each other’s flaws and recognizing strengths in one another. It may require patience and understanding rather than an expectation of perfection. 

Every person may have individual experiences of unconditional love and attachment. It can be wrong to pressure yourself to find true love if you have yet to experience a genuine connection with another person or feel a sense of comfort with them. Who you choose may depend on your individual needs and sensibilities. 

No two people may develop relationships simultaneously, so although it might be challenging not to compare yourself with those around you, perhaps try to shift your focus instead to identifying your own emotional needs and how you feel. These needs may cover a range of topics. For example, you may want someone to practice the same faith as you do or make a similar amount of money. 

Ultimately, what may be considered a good love life typically comes when we open ourselves up to love and feel loved and seize the right moment with courage and confidence. Patience can be critical.

Genuine love in a relationship

True love in a relationship often has many significant physical, emotional, and mental health benefits. Defining true love can undoubtedly be complex, and it usually can’t be boiled down to a single physical behavior like constant eye contact. Some common signs you can look for may include respect, trust, honesty, communication, compatibility, and understanding. 

Having a safe romantic bond can bring higher emotional stability and mental well-being. Couples with solid love often experience greater satisfaction while maintaining healthy relationships. With a fast connection to another person, physical and emotional boundaries can naturally be drawn to express mutual love and commitment. 

Furthermore, partners of two individuals in a truly loving relationship can be more successful when working toward long-term goals together. Relationships characterized by these behaviors can increase overall happiness in older adults. 

Thus, it can be essential to recognize the signs of true love in any relationship and understand its potential to provide joy to all participants.


Signs that a relationship doesn’t have real affection

True love can be the cornerstone of a successful, long-term relationship. However, it may not always be easy to determine whether your relationship has true love. Common signs that a relationship might not have true love can include frequent arguments, an inability to compromise, and a lack of respect. 

If you fight and argue the entire time you are together, or your disagreements more often devolve into yelling or name-calling rather than a clear resolution, it may signal a noticeable lack of love. Furthermore, attempts at compromise may often be met with resistance, or one partner may continually refuse to meet the other halfway. As a result, the essential foundations of love and respect may be absent in that relationship. 

Relationships can be complex and ever-evolving entities, often full of both joy and hurt. Partners should generally recognize that it can be expected for relationships to take work and have good and bad days. Using coping skills during these times may allow couples to build trust in their relationships and strengthen their bonds. 

Conflicts in finding true love

Each person may have unique needs that can define what they consider to be the right kind of relationship to pursue. Consequently, conflicts can arise when it comes to finding true love, as what one person may define as ideal may always be subjective to them. 

As such, journeys toward experiencing and enjoying lasting relationships can act as a personal self-inquiry, frequently forcing individuals to explore and uncover what they’re attracted to, in addition to their wants and desires in a romantic setting. This can be vital to discover the most suitable partner that realistically meets their expectations. 

There may be no single correct answer in defining true love in any relationship. Individuals usually must realize this for themselves and actively contribute efforts toward forming a meaningful connection with their chosen partner and navigating any challenges that arise during that process.

Tips for finding true love

Finding true love can take effort and dedication. It may be essential to begin by identifying the kind of relationship you want in your life, such as a long-term partnership or something more casual. Having realistic expectations, searching for like-minded people, and knowing yourself may also be beneficial to finding someone with whom you have strong feelings and a lasting connection. 

Try to take advantage of available resources by joining social clubs, attending church events, utilizing online dating sites, or venturing into your local community. Staying open-minded and not jumping into a commitment before assessing all the options can create positive opportunities for developing honest relationships.

Some critical tips for finding true love can include:

  • Don't seek romance; look for partnership

  • Be yourself, always

  • Don't put too much pressure on yourself or the relationship

  • Take things slowly—don't rush into anything

  • Keep an open mind and communicate honestly with your partner

  • Spend time together doing something you both enjoy

Experiencing relationship challenges?

Take care of yourself

Happy ending stories can be proof that finding happiness and lasting love may be achievable. Understanding yourself may be the first step in finding true and lasting love. Knowing who you are and what you want out of life can be vital to finding someone with whom you can have that journey. Being honest with yourself about your goals, values, and beliefs can help you make better decisions when it comes to relationships and give potential partners insight into who you are as a person. 

Investing in self-care and engaging in activities that bring joy can create balance in your personal life, potentially leading to better relationship outcomes and enabling you to experience true love. 

Understanding yourself first can make it easier to identify what type of partner would work best for you. You may also develop a better intuition for coping with issues should they arise during the relationship. 

Remain open-minded

Once you know who you are and what type of companion would be most compatible with your lifestyle, it can be essential to remain open-minded when meeting potential partners. Just because someone isn’t exactly what you pictured doesn’t mean they won’t be able to provide the companionship and satisfaction that comes from being part of a healthy relationship. 

Being open-minded when searching for friendship or romance, instead of focusing on one specific set of criteria, may widen your circle of potential companions, make it easier to fall in love, and increase your chances of finding lasting true love. 

Communication can be key

No matter who your companion is or how long you have been together, communication typically remains essential for any successful relationship. It may be beneficial to establish common ground early on by discussing expectations from each other, financial responsibility within the relationship, family values and beliefs, and other areas where both parties have differing views. 

Talking about these issues sooner rather than later may prevent misunderstandings down the line, potentially leading to conflict or even breaking up the relationship altogether. 

Additionally, having an open dialogue may allow both parties to express their feelings without fear of judgment while also gaining a better understanding of why certain things bother them or make them happy—which can be crucial when forming solid bonds over time. 

Benefits of online therapy for relationships and finding love

In recent years, online therapy has become a practical resource for helping people maintain and strengthen relationships and find love. Working with a therapist online can promote meaningful conversations around complex topics, potentially allowing couples to understand each other's needs and values better. 

Online therapy can also enable people who may be in long-distance relationships to count on steady support. Furthermore, video conferencing can make it easy to explore common patterns in dating relationships and develop concrete strategies for navigating potential conflicts. By taking advantage of the power of online therapy, individuals may increase their insight into finding true companionship or enriching their existing connections.

Effectiveness of online therapy

Online therapy can be effective in improving relationship satisfaction and helping couples work through challenges together. Please don’t hesitate to seek the professional help you deserve if your love life has encountered difficulties.

Online counselor reviews

“Janie has been listening to my concerns and the things that are affecting me and my relationship. We have just started working together but she has given me a lot of good things to think about, recommended some reading, and is going to send me some prompts to think of ways to phrase my questions and thoughts to my wife in ways that do not make her feel that I am attacking her or that she needs to be defensive. I look forward to continuing to work with Janie to hopefully save my marriage.”

“Mrs. Carter is an excellent counselor. She listens and gives great advice and pointers. It's only been about 3 weeks in counseling and she has helped my wife and I tremendously.”


Finding true love can take effort, but through online therapy, clients may be empowered to gain better insight into their relationship needs and values and become the best version of themselves. Aside from working with a therapist, it can be helpful to communicate effectively, maintain an open mind, take care of yourself, and look for partnership rather than romance. Healthy love that has the potential to last may involve a combination of compatibility, respect, trust, and honesty.
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