Important information about how to love yourself

Self-love may seem like a simple concept, but many people struggle with it because they tend to place a higher value on the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of others over their own well-being. Self-love can be vital to maintaining your well-being and meeting your needs, and it can involve self-care, self-knowledge, self-compassion, and positive self-talk. You can practice self-love by living a mindful lifestyle, acting based on your needs, and implementing regular self-care habits into your life. For professional help with learning to love yourself, consider trying online therapy.

What is self-love?

Self-love can be defined as valuing your own needs, well-being, and happiness, placing a high regard for yourself, and taking the necessary actions to ensure you can be happy and healthy. An essential aspect of self-love can be the realization that you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your needs or harm yourself to take care of or please others. 

Under the umbrella of self-love, multiple aspects can factor into how well you love yourself, recognize your needs, and use healthy strategies to cope with life’s stressors. 

Self-care

Whether you unwind with a hot bath after a long day or dedicate an hour to yourself to enjoy some coffee, you likely know of activities that can help you feel better. Self-care can involve all the actions you take to safeguard your emotional, mental, and physical health and well-being. Self-care can range from eating a balanced diet, exercising, and getting adequate sleep, to removing toxic people from your life. 

Self-knowledge

Self-knowledge can refer to how well you recognize and understand your mental state regarding your beliefs, feelings, desires, and what you’re willing to do to achieve your goals. A well-developed sense of self-knowledge can help you identify and comprehend the various ways your experiences can affect you. 

Self-compassion

Compassion can be a vital facet of love; therefore, self-compassion can be integral to self-love. Self-compassion can be defined as showing yourself kindness in moments of pain or failure. Many people can be overly critical of themselves and tend to be extremely harsh when mistakes happen. However, practicing unconditional self-compassion can shift your mindset to a more positive perspective.

Self-talk

Creating positive self-talk for your internal dialogue can help you feel better about yourself and make it easier to believe that you deserve to be happy, healthy, safe, and loved. 

How self-love can benefit you

Self-love can help you support physical, psychological, and spiritual growth as you check in with yourself to evaluate your needs, mental status, and overall health. Committing to caring for and loving yourself can help your self-esteem and make you feel better when stressed. 

Other benefits of self-love may include the following:

• Improved mental health
• Stronger determination to persevere through hardships
• Acceptance of yourself as you are
• Better self-awareness
• Increased self-esteem
• Boosted motivation
• Decreased anxiety and stress
• Healthier sleep

Why do you need self-love?

Self-love can help you by encouraging you to consider how actions and choices may affect your health and well-being. When you love yourself, you may be more likely to make healthy choices and decisions that can safeguard your physical, mental, and emotional wellness.

What self-love can look like

While the meaning and expression of self-love can vary significantly from one person to another, mental health experts have determined some common characteristics related to various ways to love yourself. 

• Positive, loving self-talk
• Prioritizing your emotional, physical, and mental needs
• Forgiving yourself when you make mistakes
• Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries
• Giving yourself a break from harsh self-judgment
• Being true to yourself
• Trusting yourself and your decisions
• Practicing unconditional kindness toward yourself
• Listening to your body and meeting its physical needs
• Taking breaks from work to move and stretch
• Turning off electronics to connect socially or do something creative
• Eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting adequate sleep

How to practice self-love

The most effective methods of practicing self-love usually center on continuously committing to yourself and following through with the actions that help you care for your physical, mental, and emotional needs. 

Establish a mindful lifestyle

Practicing mindfulness techniques like meditation, keeping a gratitude journal, deep breathing, yoga, and relaxation techniques can help you find and maintain emotional balance and awareness, potentially making it easy to recognize your needs. 

Base your actions on needs vs. Desires

Sometimes, it may help to focus on your needs rather than your wants. It can be easier to reshape automatic behavior patterns and emotional reactions when you stay focused on the necessities. 

Practice robust, regular self-care

Self-care and self-love can be intertwined. You’ll likely love yourself more when your body and mind are healthy, and when you love yourself, making time to care for your needs can be part of your standard routine. 

The following tips might be useful in one's quest for cultivating a self-care routine:

• Stay connected with your social and support networks 
• Use the “Five Things” grounding method to recenter yourself through sensory input
• Practice healthy sleep hygiene, eat a balanced diet, and exercise regularly
• Prioritize your needs and make time to find the things that bring you comfort or joy
• Develop your sense of emotional intelligence to identify and understand how you feel and emotional literacy to effectively communicate your needs and feelings to the people closest to you
• Cross something off your to-do list 
• Practice a mindful lifestyle to help you increase calm, emotional stability, and focus
• Regularly express gratitude to others and remind yourself of the positive things in your life 
• Challenge negative thoughts with unconditional self-compassion and positive affirmations
• Make room for healthy habits in your life, choosing the positive options that benefit your health and wellness as often as possible 

Prioritize your physical, mental, and emotional well-being

Sometimes, you may need to put yourself first. When you prioritize your emotional, physical, and mental health, you can reinforce to yourself that you are worthy of the efforts to meet your needs and deserving of the same courtesy and consideration you offer other people.

Set and maintain healthy boundaries 

Boundaries can establish the standard of treatment you’re willing to offer others and accept for yourself. While individual limits can be unique, they may set the tone for how you communicate and relate to other people. 

Forgive yourself and move on with your life

Everyone can make mistakes; it’s often part of being human. Self-love can involve forgiving yourself for past missteps and finding ways to move forward unburdened by undue guilt. 

Build a strong support network

If you are having trouble loving yourself, it can be helpful to surround yourself with supportive people who can help you when you’re having a tough time. 

Challenge negative thoughts

Indulging negative thoughts can create unhealthy cognitive patterns over time. Try to challenge your negative thoughts and consciously develop a positive mindset. 

The following strategies might help you in your endeavor to challenge negative thoughts:

• Don’t compare yourself to other people 
• Stop wasting time worrying about others’ opinions 
• Allow yourself to make mistakes
• Know that your value doesn’t lie in your physical appearance 
• Let go of the toxic people in your life who make you feel bad 
• Face your fears and find healthy ways to process them 
• Trust yourself and the decisions you make 
• Take the opportunities life presents—or create your own
• Don’t be afraid to put yourself first 
• Let yourself experience emotions as they come
• Be bold 
• Find beauty in the little things 
• Be unconditionally kind to yourself  

Benefits of online therapy

Virtual therapy platforms can make it simple to get the professional help you deserve as you learn to love yourself. Flexible appointment formats via phone, video call, or online chat can empower you to customize your therapy experience and feel as comfortable as possible as you speak about potentially vulnerable topics.

Effectiveness of online therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that can help individuals learn to love themselves by identifying and adjusting negative thought patterns. Studies generally show that online CBT can be as effective as in-person CBT, and that it can lead to positive short-term and long-term effects.