How to recover from a love hangover
Love is often a wonderful experience, but the "love hangover" that can result when love is lost is often painful. A love hangover can involve symptoms such as disbelief, preoccupation, an inability to let go, a feeling of being stuck, and an intense yearning for your former significant other.
You may be able to heal your love hangover by allowing yourself to feel your emotions fully, improving your self-esteem, prioritizing personal goals, attending a support group, or getting help through online therapy.
What is a love hangover?
A love hangover is often referred to as sadness after love is lost, perhaps after a breakup or divorce. It may also be referred to as a broken heart or grief. You can grieve any type of loss, including the loss of a close relationship. Diana Ross, the Motown disco diva, famously sang about this feeling in her chart-topping hit song (recorded and released in 1976) "Love Hangover," capturing the sweetness and sadness of love. Despite the pain, it's important to remember that a little time is a great healer, and a cure for a love hangover is possible. What stung in January might not be so raw in August.
Love hangover symptoms
There are many different symptoms that might signal a love hangover. Below are just a few.
Disbelief
After a relationship ends, it's natural to feel disbelief and denial. It's difficult to come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over, and you may continue to behave as if it's only temporary. However, it's important to accept the reality of the situation and not get caught up in a browser history of the past. Listen to a ballad or a song that reminds you of your strength and resilience, and remember that time heals all wounds.
Preoccupation
Preoccupation with the relationship may affect many aspects of your life. In this case, your former love may constantly be on your mind. You might ruminate on the relationship or the object of your affection to such an extent that you find it hard to concentrate on anything else.
According to research, constantly replaying memories of a past love can hinder the healing process. Though it's natural to feel attached to things like the shoes they left behind or an album that you both enjoyed, dwelling on them may prolong the grieving process. It's essential to avoid getting too fixated on the versions entered in your mind and instead focus on the present moment.
Inability to let go
If you're feeling like you're stuck in a love hangover, it's common to find yourself fixated on the past. Maybe you constantly replay moments of intimacy, like that first kiss, or the time you danced to a particular track. You may continue to make plans for the two of you, even after your ex has stated that they aren't coming back. Instead of returning their belongings, you may try to keep them and put them where you can see them daily.
But it's important to remember that just because a relationship was featured prominently in your life, it doesn't mean it's healthy to keep holding onto it. Instead, try to mix up your routine by exploring new hobbies or interests.
Feeling stuck
When you're experiencing a love hangover, it can feel like you're stuck. It may seem like you can't move on with your life because you don't fully understand that this relationship was in the past.
You may keep doing the things you did when you were a couple. You may find yourself listening to the same songs that you once sampled with your former partner or visiting the same places you used to go to together. Even if the possibility of a new love arises, you may not recognize it; even if you do, you may not move toward it.
Missing your former significant other
A love hangover can come with intense feelings of loss, causing you to experience the stages of grief. You may miss your former significant other terribly and feel sad or incomplete without them.
You may find it hard to think of a future without them by your side. These thoughts can be expected, but you may continue through grief until you reach a state of acceptance to cope with and overcome the loss of the relationship.
Love hangover remedies
Before you can get over a love hangover, you may need to understand what happened between you. By remembering the relationship as it was, you can learn to recognize unhealthy patterns and compatibility issues. You may also be able to see how the breakup process contributed to your feelings of loss.
Face the pain
Ruminating over a lost love can be a way of avoiding the pain of losing them. Allow yourself to experience those emotions, although perhaps not constantly. There are several ways you may allow yourself to feel that pain to understand your feelings better and ultimately heal.
It may help to talk to someone you trust about what happened and what it meant to you. They could be able to provide an outside perspective. Alternatively, you may be able to get your emotions out through expressive arts and music or by journaling. Journaling can be a very effective tool to help you express your feelings and better understand them.
Process your feelings after the love hangover
Another step in the process can be to look at your relationships as a whole and notice any patterns you may have. How you interact with people can help you identify any dysfunction in how you form attachments with others.
Is there a common thread in your beliefs about relationships? When you believe that one relationship should meet all your needs, this might become overwhelming to your partner, as one person is not often able to meet all your needs. In addition, you may have difficulty accepting the loss of a relationship if you relied on your former partner to fulfill all your needs.
Uncover fears
Often, fear is at the heart of a preoccupation with love. You might be afraid that you can't survive without the person, or you might fear that no one will ever love you the same way again.
Some fears might have a basis in fact, while others may be caused by external factors. However, your worries are valid and can be worked through by taking time to understand where they originate. You may then better address them and work toward finding effective ways to overcome them.
Clear away reminders
Having a past love's photos, clothing, and other belongings may not help you get over the lost love any faster. It can keep you stuck in the same painful mental space. Consider making an appointment with them to return their things or mail their belongings to them.
If you no longer know where your past love is or have no means of getting in touch with them, you may wish to get rid of their possessions by donating them, selling them, throwing them away, or putting them in storage. Without those constant reminders, you may be able to make the task of letting those memories fade much easier.
Improve self-esteem
Losing a romantic partner to a breakup can negatively affect your self-esteem. It may be helpful to find ways to improve your self-esteem after a breakup, which may help you overcome the loss.
You can also try to identify the positive things about yourself and work on improving other relationships in your life. Doing so may help you gain the confidence to overcome the difficult time you may be experiencing, which you can then carry into future challenges.
Prioritize personal goals
What is it you want most in life besides that past relationship? Pursuing other goals is a great way to shift the focus from what you've lost. Then, when you find yourself longing for that other person, you may be able to get your mind off them by doing something to move toward your non-relationship goals.
Try a support group
You might receive help expressing, understanding, and coping with your feelings regarding the breakup in a support group. Support groups can be a great way to meet like-minded individuals experiencing similar life challenges.
Seek support from a licensed therapist
If you're experiencing a love hangover that won't let up, you may wish to consider reaching out for professional help by scheduling an online therapy session. In the depths of a love hangover, you may not feel up to leaving the house, and online therapy can enable you to receive help from the comfort of your own home.
Online therapy is effective in reducing anxiety and depression symptoms such as rumination, preoccupation, and feeling stuck, which can play a role in a love hangover. If you’re considering getting started, online therapy platforms such as BetterHelp have a vast database of online therapists who specialize in a variety of topics.
Takeaway
When a treasured love is lost, the love hangover that can result may be challenging to cope with. You may experience intense yearning for your former partner, disbelief that the relationship has ended, a feeling of being stuck, or an inability to let go.
It can be possible to heal your love hangover by fully allowing yourself to experience your emotions, working on your self-esteem, and prioritizing personal goals. A love hangover can be an overwhelming and painful experience. When we fall deeply in love with someone, it can be difficult to imagine life without them. But just as a producer creates a record by sampling sounds, we can also learn to build a new life by sampling new experiences.
Taking small steps, like exploring the vibrant culture of the UK or trying new hobbies, can be a great way to release the past and promote a positive future. If you’re ready to speak to a professional, consider signing up for online therapy.
What is a love hangover?
A "love hangover" is not a medical or scientific term but rather an expression used to describe the emotional and psychological aftermath of a romantic relationship or intense romantic experiences. It is used metaphorically to convey the idea that, like a hangover from excessive alcohol consumption, there can be lingering emotional effects from intense romantic encounters or relationships.
A love hangover may involve feelings of sadness, longing, regret, or even physical symptoms of stress or anxiety following the end of a romantic relationship or a particularly intense romantic experience. It can be characterized by a sense of emotional withdrawal and adjustment as one tries to cope with the changes in their romantic life. The term is often used to describe the emotional complexities that can arise after a romantic relationship's passionate or euphoric stages have passed, and individuals are left to navigate the aftermath, which may include grief, nostalgia, and self-reflection.
Why do I feel drunk when in love?
Feeling "drunk" or intoxicated when in love is often a metaphorical way of describing the intense and euphoric emotions that can accompany romantic attraction and infatuation. This metaphor is due to the chemical and emotional changes that occur in the brain and body when experiencing romantic love.
Several physiological and psychological factors contribute to this feeling:
- Neurotransmitters: When you're in love, your brain releases a surge of chemicals, including dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. Dopamine is associated with pleasure and reward and is often referred to as the "feel-good" neurotransmitter. Oxytocin is linked to bonding and attachment. These neurotransmitters can create a sense of euphoria and happiness, similar to the effects of alcohol.
- Heightened Emotions: Love can bring about intense emotional experiences, including excitement, nervousness, and exhilaration, which may mimic the feeling of being under the influence of alcohol.
- Reduced Inhibition: Like alcohol, love can sometimes lead to reduced inhibitions, causing people to act in ways they might not when they're not in love. This can include being more open, affectionate, or spontaneous.
- Desire and Attraction: The anticipation and desire associated with romantic attraction can create a sense of elation and infatuation, much like the exhilaration experienced with alcohol consumption.
This "drunk in love" feeling is typically most intense during the early stages of a romantic relationship or when experiencing a strong crush or infatuation. As a relationship matures and becomes more stable, these intense feelings often evolve into a deeper and more enduring form of love characterized by attachment, companionship, and emotional intimacy.
What is a hangover and why?
A hangover is a condition that occurs after an individual has consumed too much alcohol. Once the immediate effects of the alcohol wear off, a person is left with negative symptoms such as headaches, exhaustion, nausea, sweating, and increased blood pressure.
A “love hangover” is a metaphor, popularized in a Diana Ross song of the same name, comparing the after-effects of drinking with the after-effects of a relationship.
Can you have a happiness hangover?
While the term "happiness hangover" is not a clinical term, it is sometimes used to describe the emotional and physical effects that can follow a period of intense happiness or positive experiences. This phenomenon is not akin to an actual hangover from alcohol but rather reflects the idea that extreme joy or happiness can have repercussions of its own. Here are a few ways in which people might experience something akin to a "happiness hangover":
- Emotional Exhaustion: After an exceptionally happy event or period, individuals might find themselves emotionally drained. The intense emotions associated with happiness, such as excitement, joy, and elation, can be physically and mentally exhausting.
- Crash in Mood: Following a highly positive experience, it's not uncommon for individuals to experience a temporary dip in mood or a sense of emptiness. This can be a result of returning to the routine of daily life after a highly enjoyable event.
- Physical Fatigue: Experiencing a lot of happiness and excitement can lead to physical fatigue, especially if the happiness is accompanied by increased activity or celebration.
- Comparison to the Past: Sometimes, after a particularly happy experience, people may find it challenging to return to their regular lives and may constantly compare their current state to the exceptional happiness they felt previously, leading to a sense of longing or dissatisfaction.
- Pressure to Maintain Happiness: There can be pressure to sustain the high levels of happiness achieved during a special event or period, which can lead to stress and disappointment if those levels are not maintained.
Are emotional hangovers real?
Emotional hangovers are not a formally recognized medical or psychological term, but the concept is often used colloquially to describe the lingering emotional effects or aftereffects of intense emotional experiences. Just as a physical hangover can follow excessive alcohol consumption, some people use the term "emotional hangover" to convey the idea that strong emotions can have lingering effects on one's mood, thoughts, and well-being.
In essence, emotional hangovers refer to the notion that emotional experiences, particularly intense or distressing ones, can leave a person feeling emotionally drained, mentally preoccupied, or temporarily impacted in their daily life.
Why do I feel hungover after a breakup?
Feeling hungover after a breakup is a common emotional and psychological response. This emotional "hangover" occurs for several reasons:
- Intense Emotions: A breakup is a significant loss, and it often comes with intense emotions such as sadness, anger, grief, and confusion. These emotions can be mentally and emotionally exhausting, leaving you feeling drained and fatigued.
- Attachment and Loss: In a romantic relationship, people often form strong emotional attachments to their partners. The end of the relationship can trigger feelings of grief and loss similar to mourning the death of a loved one. These feelings can linger and affect your mood and well-being.
- Change in Routine: A breakup often leads to a significant change in daily routines and habits. The disruption of your usual activities and common experiences with your partner can leave you feeling disoriented and emotionally off-balance.
- Rumination: After a breakup, it's common to repeatedly think about the relationship, the reasons for the breakup, and what could have been done differently. This rumination can lead to mental fatigue and contribute to feelings of sadness.
- Uncertainty About the Future: Breakups can create uncertainty about the future, especially if the relationship is a long-term or serious one. The unknown can be anxiety-inducing and emotionally taxing.
- Loss of Identity: In many relationships, people may develop a sense of identity or self-worth that is intertwined with their partner. When the relationship ends, there can be a sense of loss of self, leading to feelings of emptiness or confusion.
- Social Isolation: A breakup may result in social isolation or changes in your social circle, as you may have common friends or activities with your partner. Loneliness and social withdrawal can contribute to emotional distress.
- Physical Symptoms: Emotional distress from a breakup can manifest in physical symptoms such as disrupted sleep, changes in appetite, and headaches, contributing to an overall sense of being hungover.
These feelings are a natural part of the grieving process after a breakup. Healing takes time, and it's okay to allow yourself to experience and process these emotions. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can help navigate the emotional aftermath of a breakup and move toward emotional recovery.
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