Rekindling Love: Learning To Love Each Other Again

Updated November 4, 2022 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Being in a long-term relationship isn’t always going to be easy. There are times when you’ll struggle to keep moving forward. Even successful couples have arguments and it’s normal for tension to build up between two people. One thing that is worse than fighting with your partner is when you feel like you’re falling out of love with each other.

If you’ve been together a long time and things are starting to feel very underwhelming, it’s time to shake things up. It isn’t necessarily the case that you don’t love your partner anymore. That love might be buried under a mountain of boredom and dashed expectations. Life can get in the way of love and this can lead to an unfulfilling relationship.

When you care deeply about your partner, it’ll be worthwhile to consider ways that you can rekindle your love. The passion may not be there in your relationship or marriage right now, but that can certainly change. Take a look at the advice below to see ways that you can learn to love each other again. Simply being able to try to change things up can make a huge difference.

Spend Time Away From The Kids

You Can Grow Stronger As A Couple No Matter Life's Obstacles

Your kids might very well be your entire world. Children are precious and it’s great to want to raise them to be happy, healthy, and strong. The problem is that your children shouldn’t be the entire focus of your existence. When you spend all of your time on the kids your relationship with your significant other may be going to suffer.

Try to make some time for each other away from the kids. This might not be possible to do all the time, but you can try to get a babysitter so that you can do something special. You might even want to start making time for one another in the evenings once the kids have been tucked into bed. Simply put, you need to have quality time together that isn’t about the family unit as a whole.

This is even true when your partner doesn’t live with you. If your children take up all of your time, then your relationship isn’t going to get the right amount of nurturing that it needs to grow. Your kids might be the most important people in your life, but your relationship should also factor in. Try to make some time so that you can work on learning to love each other again.

Go Out On Dates Together

You need to spend time with your partner to grow your relationship and achieve the rekindled love that you’re going for. That is why you need to make time for going out on dates. One problem with couples is that they tend to get complacent after being in a relationship for quite some time. You might get so used to one another that you stop trying to do special things for one another and simply settle into a routine.

Break this cycle and try to get out to do something fun together. When you first started dating, it’s very likely that you went out and did all sorts of things together. You might have regularly gone to restaurants or gone out to see concerts together. Whatever it is that you two enjoyed doing together will be worth trying again. This is one of the best ways to rekindle the love that you once had.

You’re going to be thinking about how you felt back then when you were just discovering one another. This time around things will be a little bit different. Even so, you might wind up discovering new things that you love about your partner. Your love hasn’t necessarily disappeared but it might have withered a bit. Going out on dates and bringing it back to life and you can start to enjoy those old feelings of love once more.

Think About Ways You Can Change

So many people focus on what their partner is doing wrong in a relationship. You might even be guilty of thinking that your partner is to blame for your current relationship woes. The truth is that there are likely things that you can change to cultivate a loving relationship. Don’t blame yourself or your partner for the current situation. Take the time to think about ways to change things.

Have you been guilty of ignoring your partner’s advances in the past? Consider trying to make more time for their needs. Do you sort of tune out once you get back from a long workday? Try to spend some actual quality time with your partner in the evenings before bed.

It isn’t always easy and no one is perfect. You simply have to be committed to putting in the effort. If there are things that you’re doing or things that you’ve done that have hurt the relationship, then you shouldn’t be afraid to own up to them. Make some changes for the good of your relationship and your partner will likely be willing to do the same thing.

Show Your Partner Physical Affection

Learning to show more affection is also going to be quite important. You might not even realize how much of a different touch can play in a relationship. Do you spend time together in bed cuddling or holding hands? Have you been kissing your partner often enough? These little things are really important for showing your significant other that you care.

Try to show your partner that you love them whenever you can. Little things like caresses and hugs can help to rekindle your love. This isn’t going to be enough by itself to completely change the dynamic of your relationship, but it’s a piece of the puzzle. Think about physical affection and ways that you can improve your relationship by being more affectionate toward one another.

Change Up Your Sex Life

If you’ve been wondering how to rekindle love, then you should know that sex is going to play a role. Your sex life is another thing that you need to think about when looking at what has gone wrong with your relationship. Many relationships that are lacking the passion that they used to have been guilty of letting sex become stale. Some people have even stopped having regular sex.

Your partner might miss the way that things used to be between you two. If you think about things deeply, you probably miss having that physical connection as well. People get tired after work and they don’t feel like taking the time to make that physical connection in bed. You need to put effort into things to have a more complete relationship.

It might be a good idea to start having sex at different times of the day. Instead of waiting until night to fool around, you might want to consider surprising your partner with some romance in the morning. Even making time to have sex on special days can help. For instance, if you’re going to be sending the kids to their grandparent’s house on Friday, then that will be a perfect time to connect in bed.

Don’t be afraid to spice things up either. If things have become stale in the bedroom then try to ask your partner about ways that you can make things more exciting. This could involve something as simple as a sexy outfit or it could be approaching sex from a new angle. Either way, have the conversation with your partner and try to keep an open mind so that you can rekindle the passion that you had in the past.

Reuniting With A Past Love

It’s also good to address what it takes to reunite with a past love. You might be looking to rekindle a love that you had many years ago after connecting again later on in life. If this is the case, then many of the pieces of advice above are going to apply. Just remember that things have likely changed since you knew your lover in the past. You need to take the time to get to know each other again.

Going out on dates again can be a lot of fun. You’ll be able to remember the people that you were while also showing who you are now. Spend lots of time talking and getting to know what your love interest is like in modern times. People mature and gain new insight as they grow older, so your old flame might be much different than they were in the past.

Take things slow and don’t try to rush into things. Love is something that happens naturally and you don’t need to try to force it. If you’re attempting to build a relationship with someone that you loved in the past, then they’ll need to accept who you are now. Your experiences up until now have made you who you are. those experiences and also be honest with your expectations. If this type of love is meant to be, then it’ll happen as you spend more time together.

Relationship Counseling Is Available

Anyone who is trying to rebuild a stagnating marriage or relationship shouldn’t hesitate to seek out relationship counseling. Sometimes your love diminishes due to inherent problems in the relationship. You might argue too much due to not being able to communicate effectively. It’s possible that you might not even understand some of the issues that are present in your relationship.

Luckily, you’ll be able to work through these issues by attending relationship counseling. A therapist is going to be able to get to the bottom of your issues while helping you to cultivate a healthier relationship. This will involve changing the ways that you communicate, working on problems that you have with each other, and ensuring that both parties are committed to building a successful partnership. This can take time, but relationship counseling is a great way to address faults while learning to love one another again.

You might want to use relationship counseling and the advice listed above in tandem. It’s going to be an effective way to fix problems. You don’t even have to leave your house to attend this counseling if you don’t want to. Online relationship counseling is available.

Online therapy for couples is very convenient and cost-effective. You’ll be able to reach out at any time that you want to get help. This means that you won’t be waiting for regular office hours or be forced to fit in when a therapist has the time. It’s a great way for busy couples to connect and work on problems whenever they can.


Consider signing up for online couples therapy today if you think it’d help you out. It’s a method that has helped so many people to rekindle their love. Your relationship doesn’t have to wither away when you have professionals who can help. Making some life changes and going through counseling can fix your problems.

Other Questions People Commonly Ask

What does it mean to rekindle love?
How can you rekindle a relationship?
Is it okay to rekindle a relationship?
Can you rekindle love after a breakup?
How do I spark the relationship again?
Does space help a broken relationship?
Can you fix a broken relationship?
How do you rebuild love after emotional damage?
Can old love be rekindled?
What is another word for getting back together?

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