Things I Love About You: Guide to Sharing Your Feelings
Updated October 12, 2018
Reviewer Sonya Bruner
Sharing your feelings can be a difficult thing. When we open ourselves up to share what we love about someone else, we are making ourselves vulnerable. For that reason, many people resist sharing their feelings. However, every person would love to hear their significant other say, "Listen up, here are all the things I love about you". If you have been resisting doing this, this guide will offer suggestions about what to do and say.
Get In Touch With Your Emotions
The first step to be comfortable with expressing what you love about someone is to get in touch with your emotions. You won't be able to properly communicate your feelings if you don't know what they are in the first place.
Before you start communicating all the things you love about the other person, spend some time thinking about it. Contemplate what your life was like without that person. Think of all the ways that they have made it better. Think through how you feel when you are with them, and how it would feel to lose them. Don't just think of general ideas and feelings, take the time to really think about the details and get specific about it. The more connected you get with your emotions, the easier they will be to share.
Once you get in touch with your emotions, you will be able to discover why you love the person you are with. Then, it's time to start sharing those feelings directly with your partner. Don't panic. The following steps will help you be able to share your feelings.
It Doesn't Have To Be A Grand Gesture
Sometimes we get so caught up in thinking that we have to do something big to communicate why we love someone, that it keeps us from sharing how we feel at all. We become so intimidated by the idea of how to do it, that we don't. But in reality, we don't need a grand gesture. Most people would just be happy to hear you say, "I love you and you have made my life so much better. I'm happy that I'm with you. Here are all the things that I love about you."
This could be something that you say through a quick text, or a love note. You can communicate it however you want, but the important thing is that you do communicate it. The little things matter in relationships. Remember to keep that in mind. Anytime you delay sharing your feelings because you think you don't have the right way to do it, think again. It's always better to share in the simplest way than to not share at all. When someone loves you, they aren't going to be very worried if you don't get it right with the way you share it. They're just happy that you did share it.
Don't Overthink It
Don't overthink what you are trying to say. You don't have to have the perfect words, and it doesn't have to sound like poetry. Sometimes we can work ourselves up so much trying to find a perfect way to communicate something that it still doesn't come out right. It would have been better if we just opened our mouth and let the feelings come out naturally. Everyone loves to hear positive things about themselves and they will be glad to hear what you have to say even if it isn't in the most eloquent way.
When you realize that you love someone, it can feel like a risk to tell them. However, it isn't something that you should avoid and let go. You don't want to hesitate because you don't want to lose the feeling or the person. There's truly no perfect time or way to say,' I love you and here's why.' So if you don't act on it when you realize it, it will get harder and harder the longer you wait. Let your feelings of love motivate you into action.
Take It Easy If You Are Just Starting Out
If you are telling someone that you love them for the first time, don't get too deep. You don't need to give them a list of every reason why you love them. Instead, you just need to simply communicate that you do.
What If You've Been In A Relationship For A While?
If you've already communicated with your significant other that you love them, then simply just saying those three words every time might not do it after a while. While hearing the words 'I love you' is always nice, if you've been together for a long time and are in a serious and committed relationship, sometimes you need to increase your efforts. This may be the time to put in the effort of listing all the reasons that you love this person. When you have already been in love for a while, it's important to keep the spark alive. This is usually a mix of remembering the big things, like your anniversary and showing love in the small things, like cooking their favorite meal for dinner.
Always Be Honest
When you are sharing your feelings with someone you love, you should never lie. Do not exaggerate your feelings and do not downplay your feelings. You want to be as open and honest as possible in order to continue building trust within your relationship. You should also never allow someone to rush you into saying 'I love you' before you are ready. If you aren't sure that you do, or you aren't ready to communicate it just yet, then don't be pushed into taking that step.
Sharing Your Feelings After A Hard Time
Relationships go through difficult times. If your relationship is in the process of recovering from a difficult situation where trust was lost, it is crucial that you share your feelings with each other. It is very important to communicate why you love the other person. You want to let them know that despite what happened, you still love them and want to work on the relationship.
When trust has been broken, it isn't going to be as easy as giving a list with "all the things I love about you" written on the top. Because your partner does not trust you, it is going to be hard for them to believe the things that you are sharing. However, that doesn't mean that you avoid doing it. Instead, you work that much harder to communicate those things to your significant other.
Don't Be Afraid To Get Help
Relationships are difficult to navigate and love is tricky. If you are struggling to find the words or the ways to communicate your love to your partner, you can get help. There may be underlying reasons that are making it more difficult for you to express your feelings. Therapists from Betterhelp can assist you in exploring any underlying reasons. This can be critical for improving your relationship. Remember that all help is not the same. You can ask your friends or family for advice, but it's not the same as getting professional guidance.
When you love someone, don't let him or her go without knowing how you feel. You may have butterflies in your stomach, and you might not know the right words to say, but just say it. It doesn't have to be grand, or sophisticated, or anything else. It's just important that you share your feelings with your partner.