How Do I Take Care Of Myself When I Want To Take Care Of Others?

Medically reviewed by Paige Henry, LMSW, J.D.
Updated February 21, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Self-care can be an essential aspect of everyday life, helping us focus on our needs—whether they’re related to our physical, mental, or emotional well-being—and participate in activities we find rewarding. But it can be hard to practice self-compassion when we also want to care for others. Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. Even if a significant amount of your time and energy goes to helping others, you can still give yourself the attention you need and tend to your health. In this article, we’re going to talk about the importance of caring for yourself as you care for others and outline several easy ways you can practice self-care. 

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You deserve supportive, thorough care for your mental health

Importance of self-care for caretakers

Caretakers have a valuable role in society, which is providing compassion and support to those who need it. They’re typically spending time with people who are emotionally or physically vulnerable in some way. But caretakers need emotional support too. Caregiving (whether it involves providing support to an older adult, an infant, or an individual with an illness) can be both rewarding and taxing. 

If you spend a large portion of your time helping others, it can be crucial to understand what physical and emotional needs you have as well. Research suggests that people who are high in empathy are more likely to neglect their own needs. However, nurturing others without providing yourself with compassion and attention could lead to burnout. Studies also show that people who are responsible for caring for others may have an increased need to focus on self-care

Focusing on your own needs can help you not only avoid burnout but also support others effectively. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Nourishing your body and mind can help you refill your cup so that you have the energy and motivation to give to others. 

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Self-care can be crucial when it comes to your mental and emotional well-being. Taking time to nurture yourself can help you process your emotions, reduce stress, and address mental health-related concerns. Self-care has been associated with reductions in depression, anxiety, and burnout

You don't have to change who you are

One of the fears that may accompany an increased focus on yourself is that you might modify your character. You may want to stay the same person who values and cares for others. However, just because you take care of yourself doesn’t mean that you will neglect your loved ones. Remember that self-care isn’t selfish. It won’t change your personality or morals when you choose to preserve your mental and physical well-being. In fact, when you practice self-care, you can build strong boundaries, and you can be a better caretaker. 

How to practice self-care 

So, how do you take time for yourself when you also need to give others your attention? The following are self-care activities that you can implement into your daily life. 

Exercise

Your physical well-being can be especially important as you attempt to balance self-care with the care of others. Exercise can have a wide variety of benefits for your physical (and mental) health, including a reduced risk of illness, improvements in cognitive function, and an increased ability to perform everyday tasks. Physical activity can also provide you with more energy and strengthen your musculoskeletal system, which may help you get more done. 

If you’d like to exercise more, consider doing activities you already enjoy, such as hiking, swimming, running, or playing an organized sport. This can help you engage with your passions while also taking advantage of the benefits of physical activity. You could also try joining a gym, going for frequent walks, or creating an at-home workout routine. 

Eat a balance diet

Consuming a diversity of nutritious foods can help you focus on your health while also allowing you to express your creativity through cooking. As with exercising, eating a balanced diet can provide numerous physical and mental health benefits. If you’re already busy, prepping healthful meals in batches can save you time. And if you’re looking for a nutritious meal plan, consider incorporating foods from the Mediterranean diet, which is rich in fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts, healthy fats, and lean meats.

Journal

Putting your thoughts and feelings down on paper can help you express yourself, organize your time, and even get a better night’s sleep. Writing in a journal allows you to process your feelings, potentially relieving stress and giving you an outlet for your emotions. Journaling can be a way to understand yourself as well as your connections with those around you. It also gives you the chance to set goals and track your progress toward achieving them over time. 

Nourish your soul

While habits that are practical and healthy can be crucial facets of self-care, it can also be important to engage in enjoyable activities. Pursuing your passions when you aren’t working or caring for others can lead to numerous benefits, including reductions in stress, increases in energy, and enhanced creativity. Consider carving out time for yourself each day to do what you love, whether that is reading, painting, watching a movie, or taking a walk in a park. 

Get plenty of sleep

A good night’s rest can positively influence your ability to care for yourself and others. Good sleep hygiene can boost your mood, enhance cognitive function, and defend you from disease. To establish a healthy sleep routine, it can help to go to bed and wake up at similar times each day. Additionally, try to keep your room cool while limiting the amount of light and noise you’re exposed to. It may also help to avoid your phone for an hour before bed. 

Practice mindfulness

An increased awareness of the present can help you quiet your mind, reduce stress, and slow down. Mindfulness is a form of meditation focused on paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and environment. Mindfulness is thought to be an especially useful self-care technique for those who provide care to others

To participate in a quick mindfulness exercise, find a quiet place to sit or lie down. While breathing deeply, bring your attention to your feelings. Are you happy, tired, cold, excited? Take note of what the space around you feels like. What sensations is it producing? Try to keep your thoughts on the present moment, gently bringing them back if they drift.   

Talk to someone

Social support is a way of allowing others to give you the same care and attention that you give to them. Your friends, family members, and other loved ones can be a valuable outlet for your emotions. Additionally, they may have helpful insights into ways you can better care for yourself while caring for others. You can also talk to a mental health professional. A therapist can provide you with emotional support, help you develop effective self-care strategies, and address mental health-related challenges you may be experiencing.   

Caring for yourself with online therapy

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You deserve supportive, thorough care for your mental health

Research suggests that online therapy can be an effective way of helping individuals care for themselves. For example, in one study, researchers found that online cognitive behavioral therapy led to improvements in participants’ ability to overcome challenges, specifically mentioning the modality’s “availability and emphasis on self-care”. Additionally, the study notes the ability of online therapy to circumvent barriers like geographic limitations, high costs, and time constraints. 

If you struggle with self-care or often put the needs of others before your own, a licensed therapist can help give you the attention you deserve. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can connect with a mental health professional remotely, which can be helpful if you already struggle to carve out time for yourself. Your therapist can also connect you with useful resources, such as informational articles geared toward helping you learn how to develop an effective self-care routine. 

Takeaway

It’s not always easy to find the time to tend to our mental and physical well-being, particularly when we’re focused on caring for others. But self-compassion can be crucial to our emotional health and ability to help those around us. If you’ve found it difficult to practice self-care while giving your attention to family, friends, or other loved ones, the above tips can help, as can connecting with a qualified mental health professional. A licensed therapist can help you recognize your self-worth and provide support as you nourish your body and mind.
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