Tips To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others On Social Media Platforms

For many people, social media is a significant part of life. Social media isn’t always negative. It can provide a forum to raise awareness for important issues, serve as a space to connect with other people, and even help people find mental health care or support.

However, social media use can also lead to some habits that can be detrimental to your mental health, including comparing yourself to others. Keep reading to explore the common practice of comparing oneself to others, the effect of social media on this phenomenon, some evidence-based strategies to reduce the tendency to compare oneself to others, and how a licensed therapist can help with this tendency.

The impact of comparing yourself to others on social media

Social media platforms comparable to those people use today started to gain traction in the late 1990s. Since then, they have continued to become more and more popular. Statistics from 2021 indicate that 84% of people aged 18-29 use social media sites, whereas 81% of those aged 30-49 and 73% of individuals aged 50-64 use them. Social media usage is also common among minors. In addition to finding that social media use is common across a diverse range of people, many studies aim to find how social media may affect well-being. As for mental health and comparison on social media, research shows that:

• In one study, 87% of women and 65% of men said that they compared their bodies to those they saw when consuming social and traditional media.
• Those who use Facebook often believe that other users are happier than they are.
• Reducing social media use to 30 minutes per day may lead to lower levels of anxiety, depression, and loneliness. This is based on a study at Iowa State University involving 230 students. Half the students were asked to limit their social media usage to 30 minutes per day. They scored lower on anxiety, depression, and loneliness, and scored higher on positive affect.

It may help to consider that comparison can sometimes be implicit. We may not have a direct realization that taking in other people’s highlight reel—or content in general—is causing us to gauge how we feel about ourselves, our appearance and lifestyle, or our progress in life. We may also see what other people are doing and experience fear of missing out (FOMO), which can be comparative. 

You may compare yourself to people you know or those you don’t know personally, such as a celebrity or social media influencer you haven’t met. When you feel down about yourself due to comparison, it can influence several areas of your life. You may not believe you can pursue the things you want to do, or you might not feel confident in your relationships and career.

Upward vs downward comparisons and how each affects mood

Social media users can engage in both upward and downward comparisons, which can have various emotional consequences. 

Upward comparisons and feeling worse

Upward comparisons refer to those in which people compare themselves to those whose lives seem to be going well. Individuals may compare themselves to those who appear to have more professional or social success than they do. This can make people feel significantly worse about their lives, even if they have achieved many life goals.

Downward comparisons and temporary relief

Downward comparisons refer to those in which people compare themselves to people who may have achieved less. While this may provide temporary relief from a negative mood, it can contribute to a false sense of what success is. Negative social appraisal of others can reinforce ideas about hierarchy, thereby contributing to further upward comparisons that make a person feel worse. 

The curated highlight reel and the comparison trap

When people compare themselves to others online, they may not realize that many people carefully curate their profile to the point that it looks like a highlight reel. Online profiles rarely show the low points in a person’s life. 

Why we lose sight of reality when scrolling

When negative emotions arise, it can be easy to lose sight of the fact that one is viewing highlight reels. Someone may feel that they are the only person experiencing difficulty in life. This may lead to a downward spiral of negative feelings and self-criticism, making it difficult to dig deeper and see one’s own accomplishments. 

Who social media comparisons affect most and why young people are at higher risk

Comparisons to others can happen to anyone, but it tends to be more common among heavy social media users. Young people, in particular, may be at high risk of comparing themselves to others, as their generation may spend more time online. 

Time spent, the rabbit hole, and what it does to daily life

The time spent on social media can lead people to go down a rabbit hole. Some people end up going from one site to another, and before they know it, many hours have passed. 

A two-minute check in to track mood shifts

Social media users may benefit from setting a timer to remind them to pause and check in on their emotions. A two-minute check-in every 10 minutes may help prevent a negative mood from setting in, which can have a significant impact on daily life. 

How do I stop comparing myself to others on social media?

Below are some tips that may help you stop comparing yourself to others on social media:

1. Spend time offline to reduce anxiety and gain perspective

Sometimes, it may help to take a break from social media and stop focusing on how other people on social media look. You might consider creating a designated social media schedule that limits the amount of time you spend on social media per day, perhaps to half an hour in the late afternoon or early evening, or you might take a social media break during which you do not engage with social media at all. Some people find it helpful to take a weekend off, whereas others may benefit from weeks or months off.

2. Change your feed to stop comparing yourself to others on social media

Some people find it helpful to change their social media feed to make it more positive for their mind and self-image. This process may include unfollowing people you tend to compare yourself to and trying to follow a more diverse range of people, perhaps including more people who look like you or who are more authentic about their negative and positive experiences. If a social media account makes you feel bad, consider muting or unfollowing it.

3. Challenge thoughts that encourage social media comparison

To stop comparing yourself to others, it may also help to use mindfulness. It may not stop the initial thought, but when you consume social media with the acknowledgment that it might cause comparison, mindfulness may provide an opportunity to take note of these thoughts and challenge them. To challenge these thoughts, you may say something like “They don’t see all of my life, and I don’t see all of theirs” or “Social media is a highlight reel, and they might be going through something that I know nothing about.”

4. Engage in activities that boost your self-esteem

Building self-esteem may help you challenge comparisons to others and serve as a way to support your physical and mental well-being. Activities that increase self-esteem may include identifying your strengths, using positive self-talk, and engaging in enjoyable activities that make you feel good about yourself, such as playing a sport, practicing music, making art, spending time in nature, or volunteering in your community. You might also practice gratitude, which may improve your mood and your view of your life. 

5. Be with people who are good for your mental health

Spending time with those who have a positive impact on your life can be helpful in several ways. It may not only improve your mental health but also help you spend time away from social media in some cases. On a similar note, if someone in your life puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself, it may help to put boundaries in place.

If you don’t have positive social support in your life, support groups and other opportunities for meeting new people might be a place to start. You may even be able to find someone else in your life who would like to work on confidence and stop comparing themselves to others. If this is the case, you can support one another and uplift each other through the process.

When to seek help for social media comparisons

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and there are ways to reduce the impact of social media comparisons on your mental health. A therapist or clinical psychologist may be able to help you challenge negative thoughts that you may be dealing with after using social media. A therapist might also support you with low self-esteem, depression, negative feelings, relationship challenges, anxiety, difficulty spending time away from social media, and other concerns. If you don’t feel comfortable with traditional in-office therapy at this time, you might benefit from online therapy.

Mental health support through online therapy

Research shows that online therapy is can be an effective form of therapy for a variety of mental health concerns. One study published in the journal Cureus demonstrated that internet-delivered cognitive behavioral therapy (ICBT) was effective for various disorders, including: 

• Social anxiety
• Generalized anxiety disorder
• Depression
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder 

Also, online platforms like BetterHelp may make it easier to find a licensed mental health professional with experience in your specific areas of concern. When you join BetterHelp, you complete a short questionnaire designed to help match you with a therapist who meets your individual needs. If desired, you can switch therapists, change plans, or cancel services at any point in time. Online therapy plans are often more affordable than in-person therapy, and financial aid may be available for those who need it. In select states, BetterHelp works with certain insurance providers to provide coverage for eligible members.– Copays average about $23/week when covered, and coverage depends on your plan, provider, and availability.