Can Someone Tell Me Why My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me?

By: Patricia Oelze

Updated January 24, 2019

Medically Reviewed By: Erika Schad, LCP, CWLC


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Have you ever been dumped before without even knowing why? It has happened to many people, and it is probably one of the most painful things you will ever go through. It is bad enough to be broken up with, but not knowing why is extremely difficult to deal with. In fact, even if you were not happy in the relationship, being broken up with and not knowing why can make you sad, angry, hurt, and even devastated. People tend to need to know why things happen to them to have closure.

Is It Important To Know Why Your Boyfriend Broke Up With You?

Why would your boyfriend break up with you without telling you why? In some cases, it is because there is no real reason. Sometimes, it may be that he is just not that into you as you thought he was. It may be nobody's fault, and it may indeed be a good thing. Even if you realize that you two were not going to work out, it can be excruciating when you are the one who is dumped. However, maybe he was seeing someone else, or he just does not care enough to tell you why. In that case, you will be better off without him even if it does not feel that way right now.

It May Not Even Matter Why It Happened


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Take some time and think seriously about how the relationship was going. You may find that you two probably should have split up a long time ago. You may realize that even though it hurts right now, you are both better off without each other. Just know that what you are feeling is normal and that it will not last forever. It was apparently not your fault, and there is no reason to feel embarrassed or guilty for anything. Think about your feelings. The pain is there for a reason. It helps you know that you are a normal human being with feelings, and you will be able to love again.

Time to Move On


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Even if you never find out why your boyfriend broke up with you, it should not stop you from moving on. Take the time you need to heal. Depending on how long you and your boyfriend were together and how serious your feelings were, it could be many months before you start to feel normal again. When it happens, you probably won't even remember why you felt so bad. If it seems like it is taking too long to get over him or if you are unable to get on with your life, find someone to talk to. There are groups, forums, and websites where you can talk to others who have been in the same situation. There are also websites where you can talk to a licensed professional therapist online without even having to make an appointment.

Give Yourself Time


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Do not get back into a relationship right away. Remember that you do not have to be in a relationship to be happy. Before you can have a healthy relationship with someone else, you must be happy on your own. Spend this time in getting to know yourself better and figuring out what makes you happy. Turn this incident into a learning experience that makes you happier than you ever were before, with or without your ex-boyfriend.


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