How Can You Get Over Her? Moving On After A Breakup

Going through a breakup can be one of the most difficult things a person faces in their lifetime. Losing the bond or partnership you’ve formed with a girlfriend or wife can leave you feeling lost, heartbroken, and unsure of how to move forward in your healing process.

It is perfectly normal to experience periods of sadness or discomfort following a breakup. Many find it difficult to think rationally after losing a partner. A wide array of emotions and feelings can develop, which can be overwhelming and difficult to process. How long does it take to get over someone you love? There is no universal answer to this question since every person and relationship is unique.

Though moving forward with your life after a breakup can be extremely challenging, it is important to remember that hope and help are available. Breakups are an unfortunate reality for many, but because of this, you are not alone. Though it may feel unattainable at the moment, a happy, fulfilled version of you exists with, or without, a partner.

There are several steps to take, and things to consider, after a breakup that can help you move on healthily.

Evaluate your situation

Breaking up with a wife or girlfriend can look exceptionally different for every person experiencing it. Romantic relationships are as unique as each individual involved, and there is no definitive “best way to get over someone” when one ends. For example, if you are in a situation where you are living with an ex-wife or girlfriend, you may need to maintain a level of communication for housing or financial reasons.

If you and your partner were living separately at the time of your breakup and you are struggling to move on, it may help to consider cutting off communication entirely. While it can seem drastic to some, shedding physical reminders of an ex, such as removing photos or blocking the person on your social media accounts, can aid in the process of moving forward.

How long to get over a breakup? Some may require a little more time, while others recover fast. Again, every relationship is unique, and it is important to consider your health and well-being above all else when experiencing a breakup. While restrictive living or financial situations can make breakups especially difficult to navigate, it is possible. Taking a step back and evaluating what you need to move forward, whether it be a new living space, time alone, or self-reflection, could be essential.

Allow yourself to grieve 

The feelings of going through a breakup can be largely similar to the feelings of experiencing any loss, especially if it is the end of a long-term relationship. It is not uncommon to feel pressure from some people to “move on” or “get over” a breakup with haste. You may even tell yourself these things or experience negative beliefs if you feel you are struggling to move on. It is important to remember that grief from a breakup is normal.

Though the stages of grief are typically referred to in the context of dealing with death, these feelings can also occur in tandem with the loss of a relationship. Experiencing any form of grief can take a toll on both your mental and physical health.

Reach out to friends and loved ones

When experiencing a breakup, oftentimes recurrent feelings of loneliness can be some of the most troublesome ones to tackle. If you find yourself feeling isolated after a breakup, reaching out to friends or a support system can be highly beneficial. You may want to contact someone you know who has been through a similar situation. Sometimes, something as simple as a phone call or text message to a friend or family who can relate, could help you feel a sense of relief.

If you cannot think of friends and family you feel comfortable reaching out to directly, you may want to explore online communities or search for support groups in your area. When working on how to move on from a relationship, it can be crucial to remember you are not alone. If you find yourself feeling isolated for a prolonged period of time, having anxiety after a breakup, or feeling unable to ever consider a new relationship, it may be beneficial to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor.

Reach out to friends and loved ones

It is not uncommon for breakups to bring about a period of self-fulfillment and self-love for many. The end of a relationship could offer a great opportunity to explore your interests, try new hobbies, or consider things you would like to improve as you embrace a new chapter in your life.

Some tangible examples of self-fulfillment could come in the form of getting into fitness, journaling, working toward career advancement, picking up an instrument, reading, taking a cooking class, rediscovering an old hobby, and many more. You may take that trip to New York you always dreamed of or decide to start renovating your home. 

It’s important to remember that self-fulfillment does not have to be an arduous task. For example, if you find painting fun and relaxing, it is not necessary to be “good” at it. Simply finding an activity that brings you enjoyment can be very fulfilling in its own right.

Still, self-fulfillment can be challenging to achieve entirely on your own. It can be crucial to have a support system in place when taking part in self-exploration after a breakup, whether it be your friends, family, a therapist, or online support.

Benefits of online therapy when trying to move on

If you have found yourself wondering how to get over someone fast from time to time, you may benefit from the choice to seek professional support and speak with an online therapist. Experiencing overwhelming sadness or symptoms of depression after a difficult breakup is exceedingly common. Finding yourself in a transitional period following a breakup is common, as you consider your future and potential new relationships when you’re ready to start dating again.

Online therapy can offer a more flexible alternative to in-person therapy, while still being shown to be equally as effective. A licensed therapist can help you navigate the specifics of your past relationship while providing professional guidance in matters of moving on.

When it comes to breakups specifically, the people closest to you may have difficulty separating their feelings from your situation, making it more difficult for you to feel comfortable opening up. In cases like this, it can be beneficial to have an online therapist to serve as an unbiased outsider and a safe person to confide in.

Effectiveness of online therapy

Recent studies have shown that internet-based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is equally as effective as in-person CBT. In addition to this, online therapy often provides more cost-effective, and available, options to those seeking assistance. 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy aims to help people reframe the unfavorable thought processes that can lead to symptoms of depression, anxiety, etc. Learning these reframing tools from a licensed online therapist can often be instrumental in regard to moving on from a past partner or recent breakup.