How To Determine If Your Partner Is Right For You

Medically reviewed by Paige Henry
Updated February 21, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team
Love can be a beautiful thing, and if you're lucky enough to be in a committed relationship with someone special, it can be an incredible experience. But sometimes, it's hard to know whether your partner is truly the right one for you. After all, according to recent research from the American Psychological Association, nearly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.

If you're wondering how to tell if your partner is the one for you, there are some key points that can help guide your decision-making process. As we explore these questions, it's important to remember that every relationship is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to determining whether your relationship is right for you.

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The important questions to ask yourself

If you've reached a crossroads in your relationship, it's important to ask yourself some key questions that can help you decide whether to stay with your partner.

First and foremost, ask yourself if you are truly happy when you're with them. Do you feel respected and valued? Your sense of happiness is one of the most important indicators of a healthy relationship. For example, if you feel anxious or stressed out when you're with your partner, it may be an indication that the relationship is not right for you.

In addition to assessing how happy you are in the relationship, consider their character and values. Are they honest and trustworthy? Do they have similar values as yours? It's also important to think about whether they have qualities that complement yours and challenge you in a positive way. If these components don't align with what you value and need, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

You can take a step back to consider the overall trajectory of your relationship. Have there been any big changes recently that could affect your feelings on the matter? Additionally, talking openly with your partner about the relationship's future and assessing how both of you feel can be a great way to gain insight into whether the relationship is indeed right for you.

Remember to listen to what your gut is telling you. Although it's important to analyze and evaluate your relationship objectively, sometimes our intuition or sixth sense can tell us more than we realize. When you're trying to make a decision, trust your instincts and rely on the information that you have gathered about the relationship.

Evaluating your relationship

Ultimately, the decision of whether to stay in your relationship or not is entirely up to you. Taking the time and space to evaluate your relationship carefully can help you make an informed decision.

It's natural for many relationships to experience ebbs and flows throughout their lifetimes. As long as both of you are willing to work on any issues that arise and make compromises when necessary, then there's a good chance that your partnership will continue growing over time — with respect and love at its foundation.

At the end of the day, only you can decide if your partner is truly right for you. It's important to weigh all factors when making this determination. You can consider not just what works in the relationship but also what isn't working or could be improved upon. Through careful consideration and honest communication, you can make an informed decision that best serves your needs.

Even if it turns out that your partner may not be the perfect match for you, remember that growth, awareness, and learning from a failed relationship are invaluable experiences. Taking the time to evaluate your relationship can be a great opportunity for self-reflection and understanding what you truly want from a partner.

If it's time to let your partner go, you should do it with respect, kindness, and compassion. You can thank them for all that you learned from the relationship and wish them well on their journey. You may decide to remain friends or have limited contact — whatever is best for both of you.

No matter what the outcome, trust that everything happens for a reason and that every experience can be a valuable lesson in life. As long as you stay in tune with your feelings and make decisions that are true to yourself, then you can have peace of mind knowing that you did what was best for you.

Article VisualTips for moving forward

When a relationship has come to an end, it can be difficult to adjust and move forward. Grief can feel like a heavy burden to carry, and the process of healing may take time.

Kübler-Ross's five-stage model of grief can be a helpful guide during this period. You may experience denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually acceptance as you adjust to life after the relationship. However, this process isn't linear and doesn't always follow the same timeline.

You can allow yourself to go through this experience however it naturally unfolds. Try to remember that no two relationships are the same — so don't be too hard on yourself if things don't work out with your current partner. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship where both partners can grow together in a mutually beneficial way. When growth is no longer possible, it may be time to consider a change.

Even though it may feel lonely and scary at first, you have an opportunity to discover new aspects of yourself and what you want from your next partner — no matter how daunting it may seem.

To help you cope with your emotions and make room for growth, consider these tips:

  • Being kind to yourself can look different for everyone, so try taking some time to figure out what works best for you.
  • Allowing yourself to grieve and feel whatever emotions come up is an important part of the process.
  • Talking to friends or family can help you gain perspective.
  • Activities like journaling, yoga, or meditation can help you work through your feelings and gain clarity.
  • Finding new hobbies or interests can help you build self-confidence and find joy in life.

Throughout the process, remember to be gentle with yourself. As long as you stay true to your needs and trust that things will get better in time, then you'll likely come out of this experience stronger than ever before.

It's also ok to take time for yourself to heal and adjust before looking for a new partner. When it comes down to it, what matters most is that you make the decision that feels right for you. Letting go can feel like a burden at first, but it can also be an opportunity to discover who you are and what you want in your next relationship.

Seek professional support

No matter what path you choose, always remember that there is nothing wrong with loving yourself first. If you find yourself struggling to move on, you may also want to consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Online therapy can be an available and effective way to manage your emotions and create long-lasting changes in your life. With the right guidance and resources, you can make space for healing and growth after any failed relationship.

Recent research indicates cognitive behavioral therapy can be effective in helping people cope with difficult emotions and situations associated with the end of a relationship.  Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) interventions may improve acceptance and promote learning of the underlying skills and processes necessary for individual growth. CBT may effectively reduce harmful behaviors, such as maladaptive patterns of avoidance, which can be common during the process of emotional recovery.

You have the power to make decisions that are best for you and will lead to a life of healthy relationships and joy. It may take some time to adjust after the end of a relationship — and that's ok. You can take care of yourself each step of the way as you make room for growth and healing. Remember: no two relationships are alike, and every experience can teach us valuable lessons we can carry into our future partnerships.

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It may feel scary or uncomfortable at times, but remember that it's ok to accept the changes and emotions that come with a breakup. You have the power to create a new, healthier relationship for yourself — one that can bring you joy in life. Online therapy can be an excellent complement to help you through the process and come out stronger than ever before. You are capable of finding a partner who will love, respect, and appreciate you for who you truly are — and that's something worth celebrating.

Takeaway

So how do you know if your partner is right for you? The answer may not be clear-cut, but by taking the time to evaluate your relationship and go with what feels right in your heart and gut, you can make the best decision for yourself.

As you navigate through the end of a relationship, remember to be kind and patient with yourself. If you decide to explore a new relationship, be sure to take the time and space to learn about yourself first. With the right support and resources, you can create lasting change in your life and discover what kind of relationships can bring lasting joy and growth.

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