The Mental Health Challenges Of Staying Sober: Finding Help In Therapy

Maintaining sobriety can present significant mental health challenges. Pressure from friends and societal expectations can obstruct one’s progress. People may experience mental health setbacks as they learn to navigate distressing emotions without the numbing effects of alcohol. Some individuals overcoming severe, long-term dependency might have to cope with mental and physical concerns as their bodies withdraw from the effects of chronic alcohol consumption. Though it can be difficult, it is possible to cope with such struggles. This article discusses the challenges of staying sober and how daily choices, self-awareness, support systems, and therapy can help.

You can stay sober and thrive

Find support in online therapy

Mental health challenges of alcohol abstinence

Studies show a connection between alcohol use and mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. While staying sober can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, improve emotional regulation, and enhance your overall well-being, the process may come with mental health challenges. 

For example, drinking often numbs distressing emotions, but the underlying causes of those emotions remain when they go unaddressed. When one stops drinking, difficult emotions may rise to the surface and become overwhelming. This process can be even more challenging for people experiencing withdrawal as their brain chemistry changes. 

Social pressures and the challenge of saying no in order to stay sober

Social pressure to drink can make it challenging to say no, but asserting your boundaries and being prepared can help. Know the difference between direct pressure, in which someone offers you a drink, versus indirect pressure, in which you might be tempted to drink because you’re around others who are drinking. If possible, avoid situations in which you might be pressured to drink until you feel centered enough to cope. You might have to field questions from others about why you aren't drinking, but remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation about why you're abstaining. You have the right to make your own choices about alcohol consumption, and you don't need to feel guilty or obligated to drink just because others are. 

Strategies for staying sober in social situations with alcohol

You might find it helpful to practice saying no in a firm and confident tone. Have refusal phrases ready, such as "No, thank you, I'm taking a break from alcohol,” or “I’m not feeling like it—having a soda instead." Keep a non-alcoholic beverage in hand to deter others from asking if they can get you a drink. Step back from the situation and go outside or somewhere else to regroup if necessary. Practice deep breathing and other relaxation techniques to center yourself before rejoining the party (if you choose to do so). 

Recognizing and responding to substance misuse and addiction risks 

In some cases, an individual’s temptation to drink goes beyond peer pressure, boredom, or a way of coping with a tough day. With time, such reasons might become secondary as one becomes increasingly dependent on alcohol to function. This is sometimes called alcohol addiction—more appropriately referred to as alcohol use disorder (AUD). Symptoms of AUD can range from mild to severe and aren't always easy to recognize. Examples include the following:

• An inability to function in daily life, such as difficulty going to school, keeping a job, or caring for another because of alcohol 
• Alcohol cravings that are intense enough to disrupt concentration
• An inability to quit or cut back despite problems with friends or loved ones
• An inability to quit despite blackouts or other distressing physical symptoms
• Putting oneself or others in dangerous or harmful situations because of drinking
• Post-acute withdrawal syndrome symptoms like shakiness, cognitive fog, headache, nausea, sweating, clammy skin, and heart palpitations 

Resources for substance misuse and addiction

The above signs don’t necessarily mean one has AUD. Sometimes, heavy drinkers experience similar symptoms but don’t qualify for a diagnosis. If you think you or someone you know may be at risk, speak with a physician or reach out to organizations like the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), which offers a free, 24/7 helpline referring individuals to local treatment centers, support groups, and community-based organizations. An extensive list of resources is also available through the US Government’s website.  

Staying sober one day at a time

The phrase “one day at a time” is closely associated with Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other alcohol recovery groups, serving as a reminder that each day without a drink is another day closer to recovery. Thinking about the journey to sobriety as a day-by-day, moment-by-moment process can reduce feelings of overwhelm and keep individuals focused. While it can help to think about abstinence this way, one might need to adopt additional behaviors to stay on track.

Routines to stay sober, reinforce recovery, and improve mental health

Keeping a regular routine has many potential benefits for people looking to remain sober. For example, a consistent schedule can help individuals avoid boredom and decrease the likelihood of relapsing into unhealthy behavioral patterns. It can provide a sense of control and empowerment, increasing confidence and self-esteem. Keeping a consistent routine may also offer opportunities to practice restraint and cultivate self-control. 

Managing mental health challenges on the road to sobriety 

You may also participate in activities that bring you joy, spend time in nature, or try a new hobby. Some people find healing in creative outlets like writing, painting, and playing music. Mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises can reduce stress.

Cognitive behavioral techniques 

Many people find the cognitive behavioral techniques central to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), like reframing, helpful. For example, you might journal your thoughts and feelings to identify patterns that undermine progress. Once you've uncovered them, you may learn to anticipate and cope with them as they arise. Cognitive behavioral techniques can also help you reframe setbacks as learning opportunities to cultivate confidence and empowerment.

Celebrate small wins and consistent commitment

Progress toward sobriety can seem slow at times, but every step counts. Recognize every success, no matter how small. If you made it through a dinner party without having a drink, you might treat yourself to a relaxing massage or another alcohol-free reward. Celebrate milestones as you replace drinking habits with healthier ones.

Building new, alcohol-free friendships

While it isn’t always the case, some people may need to take a step back from older friendships and make new ones during the process of getting sober, which can be challenging if you aren’t used to socializing without alcohol. Seek out like-minded people with whom to share sober activities by joining a book club, fitness class, or sports team. Take a class where you can meet people while learning something new, like painting, dancing, or cooking. Some cities have MeetUp groups focused on shared interests, hobbies, or recovery-related activities. Once you’ve found a group of sober friends, consider hosting your own sober gatherings, like a game night, movie night, or potluck.

The role of a support network in staying sober

Research suggests that a strong support system is crucial for recovery and preventing relapse. Family members and friends can offer encouragement, remind individuals of their reasons for seeking sobriety, and provide a strong sense of purpose. A supportive environment can help individuals cope with the emotional challenges of becoming sober and hold them accountable for their sobriety goals. Knowing you have individuals who believe in your ability to quit drinking can be motivating and promote positive behaviors and lifestyle adjustments.

Family therapy for addiction

Family therapy can be key to navigating the road to sobriety for individuals and their loved ones. It can serve as a safe space for families to learn about drinking and AUD, what to expect as their loved ones pursue sobriety, and how they can best support them. It also provides a platform for the family members to explore their own dynamics and make positive changes in communication and behavior.

Self-discovery and sobriety in therapy 

There may be times, such as in social situations or when you're under stress, when sobriety's many benefits seem to be outweighed by the temporary relief of drinking. Additionally, you might experience a shift in your sense of self after you quit drinking—particularly if your social life and relationships often involve drinking as a form of connection. These and other factors can present significant mental health challenges for individuals trying to live a balanced life without alcohol.

Many find support in therapy, but not everyone has access to treatment, time to travel to sessions, or the financial means to get help. Internet-delivered CBT can help people overcome these barriers. BetterHelp offers users affordable treatment options from the comfort of home on a flexible schedule.

Research reveals that online CBT is effective for many people. A 2021 study reported that participants experienced a reduction in hazardous drinking and emotional symptoms, as well as an improved quality of life, after completing an eight-week online CBT program.