“How Do I Love Myself?” Learning Self-Care Techniques

Medically reviewed by April Justice
Updated March 13, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team
Finding ways to relieve stress so you can relax your body and mind can be a vital part of caring for your mental and physical well-being—something that can feel routine when you learn to love yourself. According to one study published in the International Journal of Nursing Studies, self-care can not only enhance well-being but also reduce mortality, morbidity, and healthcare costs.

Below, we’ll explore self-care and how you can develop practical habits to care for and love yourself.

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Do you struggle to find self-care strategies that help?

What is self-care?

Practicing self-love often involves holding your own needs, happiness, and well-being in high regard. Other aspects of self-love may include recognizing that you should not have to sacrifice your needs or harm yourself to please others, accepting yourself as you are, not settling for less than you deserve, and prioritizing your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Self-care involves the energy and actions you incorporate into your daily routine to care for your needs in fulfillment of that love. 

According to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, self-knowledge is your knowledge and awareness of your mental states regarding what you think, feel, believe, or desire. Self-knowledge can be a vital part of self-love, as it can help you identify and understand how your experiences affect you—allowing you to recognize similar feelings later and recall the coping skills that are most likely effective in a given situation.  

Another facet of loving yourself tends to involve self-compassion, which is related to the kindness you show to yourself in moments of pain and failure. When you practice self-compassion, your reactions might be understanding rather than overly critical if mistakes occur. Self-care includes numerous sub-categories, such as physical, emotional, spiritual, environmental, financial, intellectual, social, and occupational self-care. 

Self-love and self-care: Strategies to get you started

Practicing self love typically goes far beyond the desire for mere survival. It can boost your self-confidence, self-acceptance, and self-worth, shifting your mindset toward a positive perspective. When you love yourself, you may feel happier and make more effort to care for your body and mind because it feels good to be healthy. When you feel worthy and deserving of love and respect, you may be less likely to settle and may have a deep understanding that your value doesn't depend on anyone else's opinion of you.

If you experience difficulty loving yourself, you might try some of the strategies below to shift your perspective toward a healthier, more positive outlook. Learning self-love techniques and working self-care into your daily routine can make life feel more fulfilling and help you easily set boundaries and manage external stressors.

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Utilize the power of positive thinking

The human brain is one of nature’s most complex organic machines, often working in ways we don't completely understand. While research has demonstrated the power of positive thinking , researchers can’t definitively say why it works—just that it works. One theory suggests that positive thinking serves as a sort of insulation against the damaging impact of stress.   

Keep a journal to track your emotions and coping skills

One of the most effective ways to monitor your emotions, stressors, and successful coping strategies is keeping a daily journal to write your thoughts and feelings down. The act of writing in a journal can help you process what you’re feeling and give you a physical record of your progress with self-love and self-care. 

Celebrate your achievements

Consider taking time to celebrate the milestones you achieve as you're working on loving yourself. Self-care often takes practice, so try breaking it up into smaller, more manageable steps if you’re feeling overwhelmed. When you're going through a challenging time, it can quickly feel like stressors are coming at you from every direction, but it may help to make time to celebrate when things go well. According to the Harvard Business Review, acknowledging your achievements is part of comprehensive self-care. 

Find the little things that let you enjoy life

Other ways to practice self-love and care for yourself include the small things that brighten your day or generally help you enjoy life in various ways. You might make it a point to try to find the little things that bring you joy and work them into your daily life. From keeping your favorite snack in stock to knowing the perfect way to relax and feel good after a tough day, the little things often make the biggest difference. 

Plan for the future and work toward those goals

While you can't know the future, it can be healthy to plan for what may come and how you want to get there. Dreams and ambition can help keep you motivated through challenging times and make it easier to maintain a positive outlook focused on the future. 

Set realistic goals for yourself

Setting realistic goals can help you avoid unnecessary negative feelings. You are only one person with a set amount of hours and limits to what you can accomplish in them. You might prioritize your time and manage your schedule so that you can achieve the most important things first. Also, it may help to avoid committing to more than you can achieve and to offer realistic timelines when getting involved in projects so that you aren't overly stressed by deadlines. 

Further tips for self-care

Self-care can look different for each person, and strategies can be tailored to the needs of each person. The following are some tips you might consider implementing into your self-care routine in a way that works for you.

  • Reach out to and connect with the people in your social network. 
  • Utilize the sensory input from your five senses to recenter yourself and help manage stress reactions. 
  • Eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and maintain healthy sleep hygiene
  • Spend time doing the things that provide comfort and solace. 
  • Develop your sense of emotional intelligence so you can recognize and understand your feelings to communicate them effectively. 
  • Tackle something on your to-do list that you’ve been avoiding.
  • Improve your focus, calm, and emotional balance with a mindful lifestyle involving meditation, relaxation techniques, yoga, or deep breathing strategies.
  • Practice gratitude daily.
  • Challenge your negative thoughts and use positive affirmations to boost self-esteem and reassure yourself through tense situations.

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Do you struggle to find self-care strategies that help?

Know when to reach out for help

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, mental health symptoms generally become a concern requiring professional help when they persist for two weeks or more. However, therapy can benefit many people who aren’t experiencing signs of a mental health condition. A qualified therapist can help you understand how and why you're feeling a certain way and develop healthy, adaptive ways to respond to situations and manage your stress reactions.

You may benefit from the support of a therapist if you experience the following symptoms:

  • You have trouble sleeping.
  • You experience significant changes in your weight, eating habits, or appetite.
  • It is often difficult to get out of bed due to a low or depressed mood in the mornings.
  • You have challenges with concentrating or focusing.
  • It is difficult to take pleasure from or interest in things you used to enjoy, a condition called anhedonia.
  • You experience functional impairment that interferes with your daily responsibilities and actions in one or more areas of your life.

How therapy can help support your self-care goals

If you’re interested in talking to a therapist about how to enhance your self-care, you can search for someone in your community or talk to a licensed online therapist. Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp allow you to connect with a therapist via phone or videoconferencing from the comfort of your home or anywhere you have an internet connection. You can also contact your therapist via in-app messaging, and they’ll get back to you as soon as they can.

Researchers at the American Psychological Association concluded that online therapy can be as effective as traditional in-office therapy. Some people who have tried online therapy have stated that the physical distance made it easier to discuss personal details with their therapist, and the convenience allowed them to attend more appointments—both of which may increase the duration and effectiveness of therapeutic outcomes.

Takeaway

Self-care can be an important part of loving yourself. When you have a healthy sense of self-love, you may find that you place a high value on yourself, your needs, and your emotions. However, if you find it difficult to love yourself or prioritize self-care, you may benefit from speaking with a licensed therapist. With BetterHelp, you can be matched with a licensed therapist who has experience helping people incorporate self-care into their lives. Take the first step toward implementing a self-care routine that works for you and contact BetterHelp today.
You are deserving of positive self-esteem
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