I Try My Best: Why Am I Such A Loser?
The term 'loser' has become so popular that it is easy to get trapped into asking yourself 'Why am I such a loser?' Other people might call you that or you may be pinning the label on yourself. Either way, there's nothing helpful about thinking that way. It won't make you stronger, smarter, richer, or more popular. So, why think it?
Anyway, try these ways of putting that damaging question in the past and move on.
Stay Away from Broad Generalizations
A broad generalization like 'loser' can't begin to describe you accurately and in your entirety. Remember that. Instead of thinking in overall terms, remind yourself of the specific positive and self-enhancing incidents you've been involved in. When you look at specifics instead of generalities, you can abandon what doesn't work for you and build on what does.
Look for Your Winning Qualities
Pay attention to the aspects of your personality that are most beneficial to yourself and others. You might feel like you are a loser, but undoubtedly there are some ways you show up in the world as a worthwhile person. Are you good at math, friendly to strangers, strong and healthy, or kind to your pets? Do you have other qualities that are valuable to yourself and to others? It's extremely unlikely that you don't. Remind yourself of the positive attributes you possess and continue to practice them every day.
List your Achievements
When were you most proud of yourself? When did others recognize your accomplishments? Focus on those times as you create a list of your life's achievements. Then, no matter how short or long your list might be, congratulate yourself for doing well in those moments.
Connect with True Friends
True friends give the validation that will help you recognize and appreciate your good qualities. The people you spend the most time with aren't necessarily your truest friends, though. Now is a good time to build a stronger friendship with those who are best at providing you with emotional support. They might not be as popular or successful as others in some ways, but if they express a beneficial mix of kindness and honesty, they can change your life for the better.
Check your Mood
When people are experiencing a bout of depression, the world can look like a dark and lonely place. Even worse, they tend to blame themselves for the things that happen to them, regardless if they had any control over the way the situation played out. They exaggerate their faults and diminish their good qualities.
If you find yourself constantly asking why you're a loser, consider the idea that you might be suffering from a serious form of depression. Look for signs like changes in appetite and sleep, feelings of sadness or regret, and thoughts of suicide. If you are having any of these symptoms, contact a mental health professional immediately.
Help with Answering 'Why Am I Such a Loser?'
Sometimes, the question of why you're such a loser haunts you despite your best efforts to overcome it. At times like these, a counselor can help you deal with your feelings of inadequacy and recognize your positive qualities. They can provide a well-tuned listening ear as well as helpful techniques for getting in touch with the beauty of who you are as a person.