How To Overcome The Emotional Impact Of Absent Fatherhood

Frequently asked questions:

What do you call a father who is absent?

A father who is absent from a child's life would generally be called an absentee father. The kids likely won't call him dad but will more likely say the more formal and distant-sounding term "father." When in their youth, kids may call him their "bio dad" or simply say that they don't have a father in their lives.

What causes fathers to be absent?

A father's absence could happen for a variety of reasons – some voluntary and some they can't help. For instance, a father who is deceased is technically absent. What's more, his own children may suffer as a result of having no father figure to guide, advise, spend time with them, look after their emotional well-being, and cherish them.

However, when we think of absent fathers, we typically think of fathers who are alive but absent for a different reason. Maybe they live with their families but are not involved fathers. Perhaps the father and mother ended their marriage, and the father left their children with their single mom and lived with their other families. Maybe the father simply disappeared, uninterested in being with their families. Sometimes, the father's absence is because he has to be away to work or to serve in the military. Or, the father might be in prison.

In many cases, the biological father never lived with the mother, and the mother might not know where the father is or even if he is still alive. With the biological father gone and no other male role model in the home, families can suffer tremendously.

What's more, children without involved dads may be more common than you realize. Here are some statistics that show just how often you will find children living without fathers' involvement.

• According to the Census Bureau, 34% of children live without their biological dad.
• The Census Bureau also states that nearly 20 million children live in a one-parent home.
• In addition, the Census Bureau statistics show that children from homes where the parents are cohabiting but not married are three times more likely to experience living in fatherless homes when the dad leaves, and those whose parents were never in marriage and didn't live together are four times more likely to have father absence. These Census Bureau statistics show how many children live without a dad in their families' homes.
• According to the Census Bureau, 27% of children live in a family with only one of their parents present.

How do you deal with a father who is absent?

Because absent fathers who are not living with their families are not available, you can only deal with the fallout these absent fathers cause. The father's absence affects the children in many ways and leaves a family legacy of psychological problems in many children's lives. Father's absence can put families at an economic disadvantage, especially if the mother remains a single mother and has to support her children without help.

With a father's absence, the families may need professional help to work past the grief caused by their loss. After all, even if the father is still alive, the children have lost something important to the kids. The children may need to make a behavioral adjustment, and the mother may need help relearning parenting without father involvement. If the children develop behavioral problems or poor academic achievement, a community health center, psychologist, or online therapist may help the mother understand what they need and how to help them deal with a father's absence.

At the same time, in father-absent homes, the single mother needs to focus on providing the right environment for good child development, academic achievement, and a healthy relationship with each child and for the children, between their siblings. They must constantly work toward their children's well-being, and it is harder for them because of the father's absence.

Single mothers also need to be careful not to invite the wrong person into their home, especially if the person is someone who could inflict child abuse on her children. This is true of all parents, of course; however, because a mother without a dad may be overburdened and under-resourced, she may look to someone she doesn't know well for help.

The mom must always look out for her children, for her kids well being. Father involvement in cases like this can be difficult to manage. On the one hand, any father's involvement may seem beneficial. On the other, when the dad leaves again, the children feel the loss when their own father rejects them all over again.

Parenting may be easier in fatherless families if the dad was there before and the dad and mom disagreed on parenting issues. However, parenting kids without a father can put a lot of responsibility on one person's shoulders.

If there is discord in the kids' lives because a father who is absent most of the time comes in occasionally and the parents can't get along, the mother and dad might need to see a counselor to learn and get help with conflict resolution.

How does being fatherless affect you?

Being in father-absent homes can have a profound effect on children and their well-being. The Father Network rounded up statistics on father absence that showed:

• 71% of children who are high school dropouts come from father-absent homes, per the National Principals Association Report. Furthermore, the National Principals Association Report states that this is 9 times the average for high school dropouts.
• 71% of young women who have a teenage pregnancy live in fatherless homes. A father's absence places daughters at special risk of early sexual activity. Young men are also more likely to engage in early sexual activity if they come from homes without involved dads.
• At Columbia University, researchers found that children from fatherless homes were 68% more likely to smoke and engage in drug and alcohol abuse compared to children who had parents with intact marriages.
• Four times as many boys and girls who lived in a father's absence needed help with behavioral problems and emotional issues than children from homes where the parents lived together in marriage with children living with them.

In addition, a review of longitudinal studies of the effects of father absence on various areas of kids well being offered many insights. For one, the children's social and emotional health was negatively affected. Children without a dad in their family tend to engage in bad behavior and risky behaviors and have more trouble with self-control.

Each systematic review in this group of studies showed families without both parents suffered when the dad was gone. It results in children living in low-income families more often – 12% of children in a home where the parents are living in marriage also live in poverty. However, 44% of children living in families without a dad in the home live in poverty. Similar figures are echoed in the International Journal of Interdisciplinary, Social, and Community Studies based on statistics from a study done in Turkey. There, more than half of families without a father struggle financially, and the poverty rate for single women with children is very high.

Children living without involved dads may have health issues as well. Child and adolescent health may be partly affected by the lack of money for medical care, but being in a family without a dad can also create more risks and work for the child or youth.

But what about kids who had involved dads? How do they do? Based on statistics from the Census Bureau, children with involved dads do better in school, have high self-esteem, and avoid high-risk behaviors. Furthermore, the Census Bureau figures and related studies show that fathers who live with their child or children more often have a healthy, warm bond with them than kids who do not have a father in their family home.

How does a father being absent affect a girl?

A girl without a father is more likely to have very low self-esteem. She may struggle to have confidence if her father is not there to encourage her. When they reach older youth, girls without fathers may have trouble building relationships. More often, a child will develop eating disorders if their fathers are not present. In addition, these youth may be more likely to develop depression. Without their father to guide them in their lives, they may start having sex earlier. They may become addicted more often than youth with fathers in the family.

Many girls without involved dads engage in sex early or become pregnant in their youth. There are many families without fathers in which child brides and young men enter into marriage simply to provide a family for their child. Because the moms and fathers are each just a youth, they aren't prepared for the difficulties of parenting babies and later boys and girls. Because many of these families live in poverty, they may not have the resources to take care of their well-being. Then, their children, in turn, suffer, especially if the fathers decide to leave.

How important is a father figure?

Having a father figure is incredibly important. Child development in areas including social, cognitive, and emotional functioning can be enhanced when there they have a father to love them.

Fathers are extremely important in a family, both for young boys and girls and older youth. With the fathers parenting their child along with the mother, the two have more objectivity and cooperation in making parenting easier. If they have a stable marriage and both fathers and mothers contribute to the household, the child, whether they are boys or young men or girls or older female youths, can benefit from this type of parenting. It will likely result in decreasing delinquency as well as a happier family.

However, even without fathers, many times, a family can not only survive but also thrive. While poverty, when it's part of the situation, makes their lives much more challenging, a family will often rise to the challenge and create good lives for themselves. Fathers who stay away from their families typically don't look after the family well being. However, if the mom is committed to her child or youth, and if she has the resources she needs, she can ensure her child has what the child needs and an excellent sense of well-being.

Why do fathers abandon their child?

They abandon their kids for many reasons. Sometimes, the marriage ends on bad behavior, and they don't want to see their kids because then they would also see their ex. They may also create a new family after they leave the kid's mother and only feel capable of giving attention to the kids of one family. Sometimes, they leave their kids behind to selfishly put a career move over their families.

They may leave their child and family because they feel incapable of parenting to their own or someone else's standards. In that case, they might think they are being good to their kids. Yet, most of the time, they would have treated their kids and family better just by being present.

How important is a father in a child’s life?

They are very important to their kids' life and to the entire family. The family may be fine without them, but it will likely be more challenging. Besides, what child would not want an additional person in the family to love them and take care of them? A mom alone can do many things, yet it is so much easier on her if she has another parent to help her deal with kids' bad behavior and take care of the kids' needs.

Kids need them and benefit from a family based on marriage. A child can have many advantages if they are parented by two people rather than one. Yet, kids who have problems dealing with someone who has abandoned them can get help. The kids can get the support they need to do well in school, with the kid's behavior, in social situations with other kids, and in areas like mental and physical health.

How does fatherhood change a man?

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What happens when a father leaves his family?

What happens to a child that is unloved?