What Is The Meaning Of ‘Sexuality’?

Medically reviewed by April Justice
Updated March 23, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

As you get older, you may find yourself more curious about what sexuality is, how different people identify sexually, and how you can understand yourself as a sexual person. Understanding your sexuality is one part of understanding who you are, and your thoughts and feelings around it may change over time. It’s important to be accepting of yourself and other people, no matter how they identify.

During and after puberty, you may notice a change in the amount of sexual thoughts and feelings you experience. This is normal, and your relationship to your sexuality is unique and personal. It may take time to feel comfortable opening up about your own sexuality and sexual identity, and that is fine. Whenever you may be in need of support with your sexuality, you can reach out to a counselor, whether in your community or online.

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Sexuality meaning: What is sexuality?

By definition, sexuality is a word that represents a cumulation of your sexual feelings, thoughts, attractions, and behaviors toward other people. You may find yourself attracted to certain people, and not to others. Sometimes you may experience sexual thoughts that feel strange or new to you. They may not always be positive feelings, and they may even cause you a bit of fear. These thoughts and feelings are normal and are a part of getting older and a natural part of being human.

Some people may feel comfortable engaging in sexual activity or a sexual relationship at a younger age than others. This is normal, and no pace is right or wrong. Consent and comfort are important aspects of sexuality and sexual matters, and you can explore at a rate that you feel comfortable with.

Different sexual orientations

There are many different sexual orientations that people identify as that are encompassed by the LGBTQ+ acronym, an umbrella term standing for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or questioning, and the "+" stands for all of the additional broad spectrum of sexual orientations, gender identities, and sexes that aren't represented by those five letters. How many sexualities there are is an evolving topic in society. Below are some of the most commonly known examples of sexual orientations, but these terms are constantly evolving:

Heterosexual (“straight”) people are those who are primarily attracted to people of a different gender or opposite sex, while homosexual (gay, lesbian) people tend to be attracted to those of the same sex or gender. Bisexual people may be attracted to people of more than one gender and can form sexual and romantic partnerships with people of any gender identity. 

Some people identify as pansexual. Pansexual people are those who feel sexually attracted to humans of all genders, but not necessarily with any preference. 

Asexual people, on the other hand, are people who experience no sexual attraction or very little interest in sexual activity. This is not the same as choosing not to engage in sexual activity. Asexual is a sexual orientation just like the ones mentioned previously. People may also identify as demi-sexual, which means that they are usually only attracted to people after they’ve formed a strong emotional bond with them. Some people identify as both asexual and demi-sexual. Asexual people can still feel attraction just as strongly as others. The difference may lie in the kind of attraction that they feel. For example, an asexual person may feel aesthetic attraction to someone (meaning attracted to their looks), romantic attraction, or physical attraction, but these attractions are not necessarily sexual and may not have any relation to sexual attraction.

Some people “come out” at a certain point to their friends and family when they decide which sexual orientation identity is right for them. Doing so can feel freeing, and being able to be open about your sexual attraction can be exciting. Coming out multiple times as different identities is also completely valid. It can take time to figure yourself out, and a label that you feel comfortable with at one point might not be the same label you feel comfortable with later on. All relationships, regardless of the gender of the people within them, are valid and real relationships.

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The spectrum of sexual orientation and gender identity

Over time, many researchers have begun to look at sexuality as a spectrum rather than a specific label. Sexuality for many people is fluid, and their emotions toward people of a specific gender may change. This perspective might alter the sexuality meaning for you a bit.  Even if you identify as heterosexual, you may have occasional feelings of sexual attraction to those of the same gender as you, and this is valid. 

Consent and being safe sexually

Consent is one of the most important aspects of any kind of sexual exploration. As you become more curious about engaging in sexual behavior, it’s important to learn about consent as well. Consent is defined as “permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.”

In any consensual sexual experience, everyone involved consents to what is happening. Consent is continuous, meaning that at any point, one person can ask to stop.

Asking for consent can make you feel nervous, but it’s necessary. Continuously checking in with someone you’re sexual with is a great way to ensure that everyone in the situation is comfortable and is enjoying what’s happening. In addition, it may be a good idea to have a conversation with sexual partners before sexual exploration to know what boundaries they may have sexually. What may have felt comfortable to one sexual partner may not be okay with another. The more you actively ask and receive consent, the easier it may become to do so.

Practicing safe sex is also an important part of any sexual situation, especially when you’re a teenager. This means using contraception, such as condoms, birth control, or a combination. Unplanned pregnancies can be life-changing, and it only takes one time for a pregnancy to occur. However, there is support available from professional counselors experienced if this happens.

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are also risks that are involved in engaging in sexual activity. Though some STIs can be treated with antibiotics, others can lead to a long-term diagnosis. STIs and STDs are common, and it may be a good idea to get tested before you engage in sexual activity with a new partner.

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Although sexuality may feel confusing at first, there’s no rush to identify in any particular way. Sexuality can be personal and is something you can continue to explore as you get older. There is no wrong or right way to identify sexually. No matter what sexual orientation you identify with, it’s important to practice consent when engaging with others sexually.

Talking to a counselor online

If you’re experiencing confusing feelings around sexuality or are feeling pressure and looking for support while coming out, BetterHelp has therapists for people ages 18+ that can help you on your journey. If you are under 18, the same services are offered through TeenCounseling. With both platforms, you can talk to a counselor online, which may be more comfortable if you don’t want to go to a therapist’s office to discuss personal questions about sexuality and expression. Online therapy has been proven to be effective, and you can connect with your counselor via live chat and videoconferencing. 

Takeaway

Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of, and being able to ask questions and explore your thoughts and feelings in a safe environment may benefit your mental health and quality of life. If you know you want to talk to someone or you simply have questions about counseling, contact TeenCounseling or BetterHelp. Take the first step today.
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