A Friend is Not a Family Therapist

Updated February 09, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault

What Is Family Therapy?

Family therapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on the family unit and how members of that unit relate to one another and communicate. A family therapist is trained to work with families and help them form a healthy dynamic so that they can function well. You might want to talk to your friend about your family, and you might believe that because they're an empathetic person, they'll be able to help you understand the complex dynamics of your family, but as caring and nurturing as your friend is, they aren't a family therapist. A family therapist knows how to mediate problems between members of the family and help them resolve a conflict.

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What Is A Family Therapist Trained To Do?

A family therapist is trained to understand the complexities that families go through and help them mediate conflicts. They know how different relationships in the family can become difficult over time, and how some members of the family unit can have a falling out, but with the help of a family therapist, they can potentially resolve conflict and remedy relationships that have been damaged over time. A family therapist knows how to address marital issues. If you're talking to your friend about issues in your marriage, they will understand, and they'll try to be empathetic, but they won't get how complex and intricate the problems in your marriage are or how to help you solve them because they aren't trained in marriage and family counseling. A family therapist may be a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, or an LMFT, who knows how to mediate between couples, and it's not reasonable to expect your friend to be your couples counselor because it's not appropriate and they're not trained to do that.

What Is The Goal Of Family Therapy?

The goal of family therapy is to strengthen the bonds between the members of a family unit, and it aims to help families overcome conflict and improve communication. Family therapy opens a dialogue that the family therapist begins and the family members continue. It's a safe place for members of a family to voice their concerns so that they feel heard. The family therapist can help each member of the family unit understand the different personalities that exist within it and resolve the conflict that might exist between them.

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What Are The Benefits Of Family Therapy?

Unlike individual therapy, family therapy focuses on every member of the family that is present. A family therapist has to be unbiased and mediate a conflict between everyone who's present during a session. It's beneficial because you're not talking about the issues that you have with your family in a vacuum. Instead, you're able to address it then and there. A family therapist can explain a family members point of view to you and vice versa. In individual therapy, you can talk about an issue within your family, but you might not remember everything your therapist tells you once you leave a session. Your friends aren't able to mediate a conflict between your entire family because that's not what they're there to do and they're not trained in that way.

What To Expect In Family Therapy

Expect that all members of your family will hear your voice. Your family therapist wants to create an unbiased environment in which everyone gets to say what they think and feel. It's not about you, and it's not about any other sole individual in your family. It's about coming to a compromise, and families need to work together to function. If they don't, it becomes a dysfunctional dynamic. If your family isn't functioning well, a family therapist can help you understand problems that arise and work to solve them.

Online Counseling

Online counseling is an excellent place to receive family therapy. You and the members of your family can candidly speak with an online therapist and talk about what's working and what isn't, and you can decide what to do next. Don't be scared if you have a conflict with a family member - or be scared, but understand that a family therapist wants to help you. Rather than talking to your friends about your complex family issues, speak to an LMFT. Search the network of online therapists at BetterHelp and find the right fit for you who can help you resolve these conflicts.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What do family therapists do?

Family therapists focus on the family unit and help the family find ways to improve communication and other family dynamics. Their job is to help families function better and create a healthier home environment.

How much does an MFT charge per hour?

Marriage and family therapy ranges in price. A marriage and family therapist may charge anywhere from $75 to $200 per hour. Most marriage and family therapists charge by a sliding scale, the average cost per hour being around $100. some marriage and family therapists take health insurance, so always check with your health insurance plan about therapy.

Is an MFT a psychologist?

An MFT is not a psychologist, but there is some overlap between the two. Both are mental health professionals, and many marriage and family therapists have psychology degrees. Clinical psychologists work more with individuals who struggle with mental illness, and marriage and family therapists specialize their training in family relationships. Their role is to help families create a healthy living environment and improve communication among the entire family.

What typically happens in family therapy?

Family therapy is a way to help the entire family work towards long term solutions and address any behavioral problems that might be interfering with a healthy family dynamic. In family therapy, the whole family sits down together with a marriage and family therapist. Issues, such as a child’s behavior, can be addressed in a supportive environment by the entire family unit.

Can therapists treat family members?

If there is an issue, such as substance abuse or mental illness, it is possible for a marriage and family therapist to treat family members if agreed upon. An article on counseling ethics states that it must be agreed upon by the individual and the family.

What are the disadvantages of family therapy?

Family therapy can have its disadvantages if a family member refuses to participate. This can cause conflict within the family dynamic.

What is the difference between family therapy and individual therapy?

According to a counseling website, family individual therapy focuses on the individual, and family therapy focuses on the entire family.

How does family systems therapy work?

Family systems therapy addresses the whole family, not just the individual showing symptoms. Even if the issues are surrounding one child’s behavior problems, the entire family will still be addressed. Family systems therapy focuses on three key areas as a whole:

Behaviors and Mistakes
Beliefs and Traditions
Power Dynamics and Roles

Should family members have the same therapist?

In marriage and family therapy, all family members see the same therapist. If family members are receiving therapy individually with the same therapist, it might then be best to go with marriage and family therapy or couples therapy.

How long do therapy sessions usually last?

Most therapy sessions last an hour, but group therapy sessions usually last around 90 minutes. In family therapy, sessions where the entire family is present my need to last a full 90 minutes.

Which type of therapy is best?

This depends on the needs of the individual or group. Marriage and family therapy may be best for issues that are addressing the entire family. Couples therapy is recommended for couples that are working on their relationship and do not have children involved. For individual counseling, cognitive behavioral therapy is a great start.

Why do people go to family therapy?

Families and couples go to family therapy to improve communication, behavioral problems, and to address any mental health issues that might be affecting the relationship. Family therapy helps family members improve their relationships and build a healthy family life. People may go to family therapy when a marriage is at risk, there are mental health concerns, substance abuse is affecting the relationship, or they just want to better understand each other.

What are the advantages of family therapy?

The advantages of family therapy include more harmonious relationships, a better understanding of one another, listening in a safe environment, and help for the family with issues that have been difficult to resolve on their own.

What are the pros and cons of insisting that the entire family attend the initial consultation?

When the entire family is present for the initial consultation for family therapy, some may be agreeable to it, and some may not. This may set the stage for a futile environment, which the therapist may need to address from the beginning. However, the advantage is that everyone will have the knowledge of what they are engaging in and be able to have a complete introduction to the process. It is up to the head family members to assess whether or not the entire family should take part in the initial consultation, and it depends on the current family dynamic.

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