19 Ways How To Make Him Worry About Losing You
Updated March 24, 2020
Reviewer Lauren Guilbeault
If you're in a new relationship, or if you're in a long-term relationship that seems to have fallen into a rut, you may be wondering how to make him worry about losing you. While it's healthy to want to be a good partner, it can be unhealthy to worry too much about your partner leaving you. The best way to learn how to make him worry about losing you is to focus on yourself. That's what this article is about: being the best partner you can be.
This article will offer a few helpful tips. Many people worry about a partner leaving them. But this worry can create unhealthy habits and an unhealthy relationship. Instead, with the right help, you can foster a positive relationship with a new attitude toward your partner-a relationship that he will value.
You don't want your relationship to fall into a rut. To make him worry about losing you, be unpredictable and spontaneous. It's even better if you're spontaneous about things he enjoys. When he gets home from work, take him out to his favorite restaurant. Instead of the predictable weekend activities, do something unusual and fun. Surprise him with his favorite drinks in the fridge, for example.
Express Love Daily
Never assume your partner knows how much you love him. You should be expressing your love to him daily, reminding him why he wants to keep you around. Do this in many ways, not just by saying "I love you." (After all, saying, "I love you" every day might be overwhelming to some people.) Give him a back rub after a long day, cook him a nice dinner, or do anything he will enjoy. There are a million ways you can show you care.
Be Open and Honest (and Confident)
Honesty is a must for any good relationship. If you want him to worry about losing you, be completely open about your feelings. Honesty isn't simply not lying. It's speaking up when something is wrong. It's telling him when you're feeling insecure and why. It's letting him know everything about your life and your life together. If you embrace yourself with confidence, it will show him that you're worth valuing. Don't worry if you struggle with self-confidence-try these tips to start.
Have Good Communication
Good communication is also important for a healthy relationship. Communicate with your partner about everything in your life. Even when something seems small, keep the lines of communication open.
Communication isn't just about talking to your partner. It's making sure you're understood, and that you understand your partner as well. Good communication is open, honest, frequent, and involves both talking and listening.
If you want him to worry about losing you, be prepared to compromise. One person can't always be right. Don't worry about who is right or gets their way, but rather what is best for both of you and the relationship as a whole.
Making compromises sometimes means you give him what he wants now in exchange for getting something you want later. There are a lot of situations in which a compromise is not possible, and one person must get their way. If it's not detrimental to you, be prepared to sacrifice to keep the peace.
Cultivate Positive Qualities
One of the best ways to keep your partner by your side is to remain positive and have positive qualities. Positive qualities are things like kindness, being affectionate, being patient, being friendly, and being understanding.
A study in 1991 researched groups of partners who were dating, engaged, or married. They found that in all cases, positivity was a large factor in a successful relationship. You must remain positive and have open communication to make a relationship work.
Take Care of Yourself
You may not always feel like dressing up or putting on makeup, and that's completely okay! However, it can be easy to fall into the trap of cuddling on the couch and ordering pizza every day. Although this does sound comfortable, it's also a good idea to keep prioritizing physical exercise and general activity.
Don't feel obligated to constantly look like you're ready for a night out on the town. But making sure your clothes are clean, and that your hair and teeth are brushed can make your partner feel you're trying to be your best self. A little hygiene goes a long way, and this goes for both parties!
Accept His Friends
Never try to separate your partner from his friends. Especially friends he's had since long before you were together as a couple. You don't have to like his friends, and you don't have to spend time with them, but they should be respected and accepted.
Accepting his friends means you accept that he has interpersonal relationships he wants to maintain. It's about giving him space and agency in his life. Never make him feel he must choose you over his friends.
Make Yourself His Best Friend
At the same time, make yourself his best friend. He will have best friends he hangs out with frequently and goes to for "guy things." But for most problems, comfort, and discussion, he should want to come to you for that support.
To make yourself his best friend, you have to be willing to play the part. You may need to play devil's advocate when he's making an important decision, or simply be there for support if he's going through a tough time. By always making yourself available to him when he needs you, you'll find he comes to you more often than his other friends for this support.
Don't Pick Fights
It's also important you don't pick fights. Disagreements happen between couples all the time, it's a perfectly natural thing. But pick your battles carefully. Many things are not worth fighting about.
There is a book by George Robert Bach and Peter Wyden that is highly recommended by psychologists and couples therapists called The Intimate Enemy: How to Fight Fair in Love and Marriage. The book outlines when you should fight and when you should back down, and how to argue with your partner in a healthy way that will lead to mutually beneficial resolutions.
Give Him Space to Be Himself
Don't smother him. People need space. It allows them to be themselves, unwind, and explore life on their own. You want to spend time with your partner, but for a healthy relationship, you should also spend time apart.
Give him space to do things on his own or with his friends. Many partners are far too clingy. If you want him to worry about losing you, make his friends jealous by giving him all the space he could ask for.
Be a Good Listener
Part of being a good communicator is being a good listener. But be prepared to be a good listener when communication is not the primary goal. There are times when your partner will need to simply talk about something on his mind-a decision that has to be made, or something that's bothering him.
Being a good listener is about trying to understand so you can offer comfort and support. When you only listen to respond, you are not a good listener. Listen just to listen, and only offer input in these situations when it's asked for.
Respect must be shown by both sides at all times for a healthy relationship. Showing respect means you don't belittle him, berate him, or abuse him in any way. When you show respect to your partner, he'll respect you in turn and not want to lose you because you treat him well. Respect is a two-way street, and if you don't respect him, he'll not respect you. Respect is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.
Frequent intimacy with your partner is important. Intimacy doesn't just mean sex. It also means being affectionate in other ways. Hugging and kissing is intimacy. Talking is intimacy.
You can also be intimate with your partner by cuddling, maybe while watching a movie or while simply sitting and talking about your day. Holding hands when you walk down the street, leaning into each other at the movies, or even a gentle squeeze while out to dinner can also be forms of intimacy.
Share His Interests
You won't share all his interests. You obviously have some compatibility, or you wouldn't be a couple, but that doesn't mean you both like all the same things.
But you can still participate in his interests. If he likes sports, take him to a ball game. If he likes comics, take him to Comic-Con. Try to enjoy yourself, but most importantly make sure he enjoys himself. When you both share in each other's interests, it allows you to become closer and be each other's best friends.
Show Your Appreciation
Frequently show your appreciation for your partner. Say please and thank you. When you're constantly appreciative of everything he does for you, he'll realize you love him and want to keep him around. He'll also want to stay with you because it always feels good to be appreciated.
Research The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. His book outlines five ways to express and experience love: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. Knowing your partner's love language will help learn more about your partner and in turn provide a closer bond.
A Few to End With
The last few can seem somewhat stereotypical, but there is a kernel of truth behind all three. For example, the nagging wife has been shown on every sitcom since the invention of television. While it can seem campy, it's great advice to avoid nagging anyway.
Another stereotype is the girlfriend or wife who's in charge of the cooking and cleaning. In the 21st century, these tasks are often split between partners. In fact, many husbands opt to stay at home and raise the kids. Still, everyone enjoys a clean and organized space. It's a loving gesture to clean for a loved one, regardless of gender. Do what you can to keep things tidy, and hopefully he will reciprocate.
Lastly, most men (and women) need their alone time. A partner can be totally put off by smothering. Your partner may need time by themselves for solitary activities. Try to offer support while also stressing that time together is important. Time together and time apart are vital for a healthy relationship.
Get Relationship Help
If you want to make him worry about losing you, and it's something you worry about frequently, there may be a problem with your relationship. The methods above are great, however, you might want to look into therapy.
When you constantly worry about keeping your partner, you can't enjoy the relationship. When it becomes an obsession, it's important to seek the help of a therapist. They can help you identify why you're worrying, and help you decide if the relationship is healthy. A couples therapist can also help the two of you work together for a healthier relationship. BetterHelp is especially convenient if your partner joins in the session. Below are reviews of some great BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.
"Rachel is awesome! Gently encouraging and very responsive. I prefer to communicate via messages and I love that that is an option. I feel that she totally understands me and is never judgemental. The stress from work impacts my partner less since I've been talking to Rachel - I am managing my stress and insecurity better."
"I would refer Helen to anyone that would need to speak to a counselor. She listens and gives excellent advice. My husband and I are the closest we've ever been."
Worrying about a partner leaving can be unhealthy. Striving to be the best partner is far healthier. You can help make your relationship the most fulfilling possible by integrating the tips suggested above. A counselor can also help to implement certain tips, like improving your communication and confidence. Take the first step to the best relationship today.