what abuse can do to a person

Content/Trigger Warning: Please be advised that the article below might mention trauma-related topics that include types of abuse such as sexual abuse & violence, which could be triggering.

Abuse can take a massive hit to not only our mental health but our physical health, our ability to form secure relationships with others, how we see ourselves and the world around us, and our capacity to make choices that serve us best.

Whether the abuse is physical, emotional, or sexual, it can change the body and the mind's function.  Most experiences of abuse are traumatic for the victim—meaning the event overwhelms the person’s ability to cope.  When the brain is submerged in a traumatic event, it goes into fight or flight mode; the survival mechanism meant to keep us alive.  In cases of abuse, fighting or escaping the situation may not be possible, instead of putting the body into freeze mode to adapt to the threat.  Even after the abuse has stopped or the event has ended, the brain can remain stuck in the fight/flight/freeze mode, impacting how we perceive and react to neutral stimuli in our environment. For example, people with a history of physical abuse may react with panic to physical contact or touch. Someone who was sexually abused may avoid intimacy or become anxious around reminders of the assault. 

All types of abuse can destroy a person’s sense of worth in the world, with emotional abuse being the most direct form. The victim may begin to believe they deserve it, did something to incite it, will never be better than what their abuser has reduced them to, etc.  While all of this bears no real truth, being the target of violence in any way can create pathways toward self-hatred and shame in the brain.  Abuse can generate a strong sense of powerlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness that can last a lifetime if unprocessed, which can impact how a person interacts with others, how capable people feel to make decisions in their lives, who and what they feel they deserve, and how they move through the complexity of human emotions. 

Abuse has also been linked to poor physical health.  Because trauma is stored in the body just as much as the brain, it can put our internal systems out of balance and create a higher risk for health complications and/or poor immune system function.  People who’ve endured abuse may also harbor a negative body image or relationship to health, creating choices that harm vs. support the body.

Overall, the impact of abuse is substantial.  Luckily, we have many research-backed ways to combat the effects via many different therapeutic approaches.  One great resource to learn more about trauma and treating its effects is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk.  

Trauma is so healable.  No matter what someone has been through, there’s always the potential to recover from the events of the past.

If you have been experiencing domestic violence, reach out for help immediately. You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.