Where is abuse most likely to occur?
Asked by Anonymous
Answered
05/03/2021
To understand where abuse occurs, it is first important to define “abuse.” Abuse is a term that has stood for many different injustices that occur in the world, including physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, abuse of power, abuse of drugs and alcohol, etc. In that sense, abuse is most likely to happen anywhere. But like the sewage systems that wind under our cities, abuse is often hidden from sight, and we keep it underground because it is hard to look at and think about, and most people would like to pretend that it does not exist. This has left a vacuum for victims of abuse to feel ashamed or dirty, or even stupid for being in a position where they were abused, and a culture of victim-blaming that points more at the person who has suffered than the broken system. Reporting abuse is often challenging and often re-traumatizing for abuse victims, so many crimes and instances of abuse go unpunished and even unheard.
Unfortunately, this is likely to happen close to home in terms of child abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic abuse. Even though it may seem more widespread in the media and true crime documentaries, violent crime is not as likely to happen randomly or from a stranger. Most abusers are people we know and even trust, which also makes reporting and understanding this kind of abuse even more difficult, as it has the capacity to affect entire families. Sometimes parents and family members are complicit in abuse scenarios or are in denial about what has happened because it is too difficult for them to imagine something happening to their children. In this statistic from https://www.enoughabuse.org/gtf/who-are-the-abusers.html, in 90% of cases, the person who commits child abuse is someone who is known to the child. In terms of sexual abuse, in this statistic from https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence, 75% of reported instances involve a sexual perpetrator who a partner or acquaintance. In this statistic about domestic violence from https://www.thehotline.org/stakeholders/domestic-violence-statistics/, over 35.6% of women and 28.5% of men in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
The troubling answer to your question is that abuse can happen anywhere, including places where you are supposed to feel safe. It is important to familiarize yourself with recognizing signs of abuse in your own relationships and how to get help if you are experiencing this. If you suspect abuse is happening to someone else, there are also resources you can use to get help for that person, especially if they are a child, person with disabilities, or a person over age 65.
If you have experienced abuse in your life, there are also many resources for healing, including attending therapy, joining trauma support groups, and working to feel stronger and more empowered. Some people find doing things like reporting the crime and testifying against their abuser empowering; some might find solace and strength in taking self-defense classes or jujitsu to feel stronger in your body and mind. Meditation and breathing work can be helpful and movement-based therapy and expressive therapies, such as music or art therapy. Some animal-assisted therapists use animals as part of the therapy process, including horses and dogs. EMDR is a type of therapy that has shown good results for overcoming trauma and abuse.
Healing is possible for everyone and more effective when you reach out to others for help to get through it.
Resources:
Domestic Abuse:
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
Child Abuse:
https://www.childhelp.org/story-resource-center/child-abuse-education-prevention-resources/
aacap.org Child Abuse Resource Center
Sexual Abuse:
All-Inclusive Resources:
