Where to get help for abuse?

There are many places and resources available to turn to to get help for abuse. If you are under 18 years old, professionals are mandated by law to report abuse for investigation. If you are in a life-threatening emergency, crisis, or imminent danger, call 911 or your local police. If you are experiencing abuse and don’t feel ready to leave, call a crisis or domestic violence hotline in your country to receive support and find out about local counseling or other resources. If you have been experiencing domestic violence, reach out for help immediately. You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Working with a therapist, domestic violence advocate, lawyer, or professionals can also help you create a safety plan for yourself and your family. The U.S. National DV Hotline is 1.800.799.7233; Love is Respect Hotline is 1.866.331.9474, Rain Sexual Assault Hotline is 1.800.656.HOPE(4673), and  24/7 National Crisis Hotline is 1.800.273.8255. Many communities also have local domestic violence shelters that provide free legal services, counseling, advocacy services, shelters, and support groups.

It is important to understand that if you are in an abusive relationship and considering leaving, careful plans must be made when attempting to leave as the risk of serious injury or death increases considerably. Think about and consider how your partner might react based upon past events and consider if they have made threats to kill you or him or herself if you leave. Financial barriers are major reasons survivors of abuse fear leaving the relationship, so make careful plans towards having some outside financial support, saving money, opening a separate bank account, or trying to achieve some financial independence. Many survivors also stay in abusive relationships to protect the children and fear what will happen to their children if they leave the relationship. While this is understandable, keep in mind that witnessing abuse is traumatic for children, and your relationship is also serving as a model for future relationships for your child. Professional counseling can help you learn to stay in your relationship and minimize harm to yourself and your family if you cannot leave.

Remember to recognize the cycle of abuse you are trapped in and mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for manipulation, guilt, pity, promises to change, or increased violence with the threat of leaving. It is recommended to consult with a lawyer to learn more about your legal rights; many communities have free legal aid services, or many lawyers offer free consults. Protection orders can provide legal protections to survivors, but it may also be necessary to take other safety precautions. Document all instances of abuse as much as possible, including saving abusive text messages, taking photographs of abuse, and documenting dates and times abuse occurred and what happened. It may take time to leave, but set goals for yourself and work towards those goals. Be patient with yourself and know that it takes time to heal and rebuild your self-esteem. Many survivors of abuse can successfully leave abusive relationships and move on with their lives.