Why is it that amputees tend to isolate themselves and drink to find a little happiness?

I am 55 and have been through a lot in my life. 14400 volts when I was 12 took my right hand and left contracted . I have been an alcoholic since I was 16, I am an isolationist my entire adult life. I don't think of myself as normal as others but normal for me. I like my life but my family thinks I'm worthless. I get depressed when they say things about me, they even told people that I died. I think it's crazy but I don't have enough time here to say what I've been through so I will leave it at that.
Asked by Scorpio
Answered
11/29/2021

Hello, and thank you for writing. I am certainly hearing that you have been through a lot, and I am glad that you reached out.

To address your first question, I can't speak for amputees in general, but it definitely sounds like you see your own isolation and drinking as a way of finding some happiness. I also see that you describe yourself as an alcoholic, so I am wondering if you always view your drinking positively. I think anyone who is experiencing pain, be it emotional or physical, looks for ways to help themselves feel better. I also think that sometimes, the solutions we find become less helpful over time, or have unanticipated consequences. I am curious about your perspective.

I hear you say that you think of yourself as normal for you rather than normal for others. You also say that you like your life as it is. It may be that you have found a system which completely works for you and fully meets your needs, which would be great! I also know that if we sit in it long enough, a bad situation becomes what feels normal, and sometimes even what feels safe. I find myself wondering if there are any ways in which your isolationist lifestyle doesn't totally work for you, or if there are things you sometimes feel are missing.

I am hearing quite a bit of tension between you and your family in what you describe. It sounds like at times it matters to you what they think of you, while at other times, you may brush it off. You mention that they see you as worthless, and I am wondering how you perceive your own worth. 

The kinds of experiences you allude to have a tendency to leave their marks, and I am getting the impression that you are in touch with that. It can be helpful to talk through these things with someone who can listen without judgment and assist you in considering your full range of options for dealing with them. If you're open to it, I'd love the opportunity to hear more of your thoughts. Either way, I wish you good luck.

 

Warmly,

 

Kate

(MA, LPC)