Will emotional abuse become physical?

Will emotional abuse become physical?  If emotional abuse is occurring, there is no guarantee that physical abuse will happen.  However, there is no guarantee that physical abuse will not happen.  There are some warning signs that emotional abuse is more likely to turn into physical abuse within a romantic relationship that experts can agree on, however.  In a relationship, you want to listen to your intuition.  Is the person you are with making you feel safe?  Does the person make you feel comfortable?  If this is not the case early on in the relationship, then it is more likely you are going to feel less safe/unsafe or less comfortable/uncomfortable in the future.

We can also look to drinking patterns to predict possible physical abuse.  People who binge drink or drink in excess are more likely to turn physically violent.  Those who abuse other substances are also more likely to turn physically violent.  Drinking itself is not the only issue that makes physical violence more likely.  Drinking and using substances makes arguing about these more likely.  Arguments over hangovers, bad behavior, or losing jobs due to drinking are all common. 

Studies at Florida Atlantic University on male retention behavior found some behaviors that men use to keep partners more likely to predict physical abuse than others.  These emotional abusive behaviors, also labeled as male retention behaviors, can be likely to foretell future physical abuse:  calling to check up on a partner, manipulating a partner emotionally, trying to manipulate a person’s time, threatening revenge for unfaithfulness, always wanting to know where their partner is at all times and dropping by to check in on their partner without warning.  The leader of this study, Todd L. Shackelford, named vigilance over a partner’s whereabouts as the number one predictor of future physical violence in male retention behaviors/emotionally abusive behaviors.

While emotional abuse may be viewed by many as “lesser” violence than physical violence, many abuse victims I have worked with say that emotional violence is the worst type of violence.  Trying to heal the scars of emotional violence often takes longer than healing the scars and wounds left behind from physical violence due to the memory of the words and hurt that come along with them.  If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, I recommend speaking with a counselor to talk about your concerns about how to build healthier relationships.