How do I find and remain focused on a daily basis and follow through without constant sidetracks?

I am just learning that my thoughts do become my reality. I have a difficult time getting to a positive mindset and staying there productively. I am trying to better myself for myself and my boyfriend.
Asked by KR
Answered
05/11/2022

Hello KR,

It is much to your credit that you write, "I am trying to better myself for myself and my boyfriend."  This is a very worthwhile goal, and you are lucky to be in a relationship that means so much to you. 

It seems that you are struggling with a combination of things, including trouble focusing and perhaps having negative thoughts about yourself.  In therapy you will have a chance to examine a number of your thoughts and symptoms, and to explore your concerns.  You will be able to analyze what is at the root of your struggle, in order to work toward improving your thoughts, your self-talk, and your productivity.  Everyone's mind is different, and it's important to address your symptoms and to develop a customized plan.  One therapist on BetterHelp describes this as an "owner's manual for your mind."  You may or may not have ADHD or ADD, or you may have anxiety that causes you to have trouble focusing.  Anxiety and depression tend to overlap with attention problems.  When a person is overwhelmed and unable to focus or accomplish things, they may become anxious and depressed. I would like to know more about your feelings about your productivity.  Does this mean that you struggle with employment?  And in therapy, it would be good to follow up with your statement about "... my thoughts do become my reality."  One aspect of therapy I like to emphasize is that we are not our thoughts.  Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps to focus on our thoughts, to become more mindful, and to keep engaging in life in a positive direction, while still noticing that we can have thoughts and feelings that can be painful at times.  One of the goals of therapy is to work on self-acceptance.  You are more than your productivity. 

Perhaps you are at a time in your life when you are evaluating yourself, thinking about your future, and that is why you are considering therapy.  You may be starting to look for areas you feel passionate about, planning for work or school.  Once you find the right fit for your interests and values, you will be able to focus better, because you will be more content and fulfilled.   

I highly encourage you to share your story and your thoughts and feelings in therapy.

(Psy.D., M.P.H., LMHC)