Where Does Anger Come From in Psychology?

Anger is often said to be a “secondary emotion.” This means that there is generally (some belief always) a feeling below the “anger” (there is a primary emotion). For example, someone may identify as angry but actually feel jealous, scared, or embarrassed, or guilty, or disappointed, or discouraged, or grieving, or disrespected, or annoyed, resentful, or hurt. If you tend to find yourself often feeling angry, it is important to identify what underlying feelings are below that anger. From there, you can identify patterns associated with your anger.

Thoughts control emotions

Like any emotion, anger comes from our thoughts and belief systems. You may not always be able to identify what thoughts lead to your feelings, as they can seem to occur automatically, but we never feel anger without a thought making us feel this way. Anger all comes down to perception. For example, let’s say that three people apply for a job and do not get the job. One person may tell himself, “This is unfair. I was the most qualified!”  That person’s anger may come from feeling unappreciated or feelings that he was treated unfairly. A second person may tell himself that he did not get the job because “I’m not good enough. No one will appreciate me. I shouldn’t even bother trying again.” That person’s anger may come from feeling inadequate and rejected. A third person, though, may not get the job and tell himself, “That’s OK, I applied for several jobs and maybe was not the most qualified, but I’m sure I’ll get one of these jobs that I applied for.” That person will probably not feel angry at all, and in fact, this situation may even motivate him even more. As you can see, our anger always comes from our thoughts—and identifying our thoughts and underlying feelings is imperative in understanding where your anger originates.

Anger is learned

Finally, how we act in situations is based largely on what we have learned about behavior. If we see others around slam their fists when they become angry, or give up, or get into fights, or isolate, or become more ambitious (any of these responses can be a particular person’s response to anger), we are more likely to respond in that way. So, not only do we have to retrain our minds, but we also have to focus on changing our behavioral responses to situations. Putting ourselves around others who appropriately manage their anger can help us relearn our response to anger-provoking situations.