How anxiety affects relationships?

Anxiety is a common challenge many children, teens, and adults face in this day and age. Anxiety is both good and bad too. Good anxiety allows people to show up on time, complete tasks, drive up a certain energy level to perform and signal to the experiencer when there might be something wrong or dangerous ahead. Natural anxiety turns into too much when it becomes a daily fear, worry, hypervigilance, and perseveration over any number of topics. How this anxiety affects relationships is a very real issue that is the subject of counseling to the person experiencing anxiety and their loved ones who are trying to manage to be with someone with it.

Between Adults

Anxiety manifested in adult relationships can become a concern because the person without as much anxiety may change their behaviors to adjust to the person struggling. However, the problem in this lies in the fact that for many, this change doesn’t feel natural or even good, and the relationship can end up becoming somewhat inauthentic. Counseling attempts to assist the person with anxiety with tools to manage the symptoms independently of others, becomes aware of how they present in relationships and be as open as they can about what is happening. Doing this can help relationships avoid having an unhealthy dependence on the other for either support or rescuing or helping too much.

Between Parent And Child

Many anxious parents have anxious children. While this can sometimes be passed down genetically, it seems as if, more times than not, anxious behaviors are learned and copied from the parent. An anxious parent fearful of their child growing more independent will communicate that they are not “ok” on their own, and codependency may develop. Anxious children who have parents without the same struggles can become very frustrated and even dismissive of their children’s needs. To manage the behaviors and relationships successfully, it is helpful to learn about your own personality structure and how that may affect your child. Additionally, learning fully how children develop helps the parent manage the anxiety in their children. The Whole Brain Child, by Daniel Seigel, MD, and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., describes nurturing children and addressing their many emotional and cognitive needs.

Between Peers

One of the most common complaints clients seem to discuss is friends who are “self-centered.” As people share more of their experience, more commonly, these friends sound anxious socially, with their confidence, and in many other ways that unfortunately negatively affect friendships because they are never really present to listen to the other. Anxiety can look a lot like narcissism at times if severe enough. In this case, being open, honest, and straightforward helps insight. And in some, friendships need to end if they feel one-sided.