How can I make my social anxiety better?

Hi Bianca,

Thank you for your question.  I can imagine how challenging it is at times to feel there is a barrier to engaging in regular activity such as calling to schedule an appointment or interacting with friends and both fostering and maintaining social connections.  When the anxiety begins to impair functioning, it is important to address it and begin treatment.  Even before impairment, it can have subtle effects on your career, interpersonal relationships and family life. 

Social anxiety is very treatable and there are a variety of ways it can be done effectively.  The research shows one of the most effective ways to treat social anxiety is to begin psychotherapy.  Receiving individual therapy from a licensed therapist who is well versed in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a preferred method of treatment.  Engaging in CBT will allow for you to become more aware of how your thoughts causing anxiety are affecting your feelings and behavior.  You will learn how your thought patterns are affecting how you feel in social situations and this can help modify your behavior.  Many times when experiencing social anxiety, 'thinking errors' are being made.  These distortions can be brought to light through CBT and can be challenged through tools learned in therapy. 

Another effective way to treat social anxiety is through exposure.  In particular, situational exposure is proven to be effective in many situations.  Identifying particular social situations where you are experiencing symptoms of social anxiety and gradually being exposed to this environment.  Starting with the easiest scenarios in this category and working your way up to the most difficult scenarios is how this approach works.  An example we can look at together is a hypothetical where someone fears being in large crowds of people.  In the beginning of exposure, the therapist and client would work together to come up with 'easiest' scenarios to engage in, such as identifying a friend or close support to go out with one on one somewhere together.  Then working your way to a 'medium' scenario identifying a small circle of people or supports you can go out with.  Eventually working our way up to the most 'difficult' scenarios such as going out to a restaurant or party. 

Both CBT and exposure are two proven methods to treat social anxiety.  Please let me know if you are interested in engaging with either CBT or exposure therapy and I would be more than happy to work with you and provide professional support.

Thank You,

Matthew Sheft, LCSW