How do I change how I interpret situations and events?

I understand the frustration and the hopeless feeling of continual and excessive anxiety.  Anxiety can build in our lives and become more and more severe as we often avoid the situations that cause anxiety.  It becomes a cycle of increasing anxiety often as we avoid the anxiety and then build even more anxiety. 

Most relief from anxiety comes from the reduction of avoidance behaviors and the changing of thinking patterns and underlying beliefs.  There are also many causes of anxiety, from anxiety disorders to trauma related issues.  Some people are also definitely just more genetically prone to anxiety, though this does not mean it cannot be improved.  There are many thinking patterns that drive anxiety, with some of the most common being termed cognitive distortions such as catastrohphizing to extreme polarized thinking.  We often have self talk that builds anxiety through unrealistic expectations of self ("should statements) and polarized thinking (thinking "always," "never," and "every."  It has been my experience that anxiety building thoughts are activated by unhelpful and sometimes trauma based belief systems.  We can view ourselves very negatively by believing we are flawed, unlovable, not worthy, or not good enough.  Sometimes people believe that the world and people are not safe or have extreme social anxiety due to feeling they are being judged due to past negative experiences. 

As we change the way we see ourselves, other people, and the world, often our automatic negative thoughts weaken in strength and frequency.  There are also many tools that we can use for anxious thinking, notably learning to identify and challenge these negative thinking patterns, using tools that help us challenge our thinking patterns, using slow exposure to lessen the reactivity of certain things that have become phobic, and using behavior experiments to challenge our thinking and belief patterns. 

Change is a process but is very much possible.  Coping skills can also be useful but usually need to be accompanied by the changing of underlying thinking and belief systems.  I have found that self soothing/grounding/mindfulness techniques often are the most successful as we learn to get out of our thoughts and focus more on our other five senses.  For many people, breathing techniques, progressive muscle relaxation, and body scanning can help reduce anxiety and be self soothing. 

Ultimately, if we continue to think the same way and stay in unhelpful belief systems, we will continue to struggle.  I know that addressing severe anxiety can seem like a monumental task, but it is all about progress at the end of the day.  The other option is to continue to avoid, which unfortunately will always lead to increasing anxiety over time.