How do I deal with all of my anxiety

It sounds like you feel anxiety as soon as you wake up everyday. Anxiety is a natural body response that we have to stimuli that makes us feel a sense of stress or fear. And sometimes they can occur consciously or subconsciously due to things in our surroundings. A few things that I would consider especially if you feel it first thing in the morning are: 1) How long have you been feeling this way? 2) When you first started feeling this way, was anything stressful or impactful going on in your life? 3) When you feel anxious, how does your body respond when it's feeling anxious? 4)Is there something about mornings that causes anxiety for you? The answer to some of these questions may help you identify the trigger as to an earlier memory of when this happened. Many times how we start our days can navigate how the rest of our day looks like so that can be challenging as well.  Knowing where anxiety stems from can help us better understand ourselves and why we respond the way that we do. But figuring it out can take some time for some of us especially if we have suppressed a lot in our past. 

I would also strongly encourage you (if you aren't already) to practice relaxation. Practicing relaxation techniques can help reduce anxiety levels as it reminds our bodies to relax. So for example, some people experience rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, hands clamming up, and other tension in our body. Thus, relaxation skills like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation can help ease some of that tension. We can also implement mindfulness or guided imagery into our relaxation routine as it can also help us disconnect from our stressors for a bit and allow our mind to be at ease. Relaxation can be beneficial in so many ways as it can allow us to refuel or recharge our energy so that we can be present and manage the anxiety in a more effective way. 

After we can get our bodies to relax, we can start to manage and challenge our anxious thoughts. Many times, fears come from a place when something didn't go according to plan and that felt very stressful for us. And sometimes we may not have experienced those situations ourselves, but maybe know someone who did or heard of someone who did. And our mind may go to worse case scenarios unfortunately. Many times asking ourselves how likely is this to happen to me? And if not very likely, why do we spend so much energy on a situation that isn't likely to happen? Learning to reframe intense anxiety is a process, but it can definitely help alleviate some stress for us. It will also help us create helpful and more accurate ways of thinking.

Depending on how long you have experienced anxiety, it can take some time to get comfortable letting go of these anxious thoughts. Even though it is very intense, we do adjust and this can feel like our norm. Thus, it may feel uncomfortable to try implementing relaxation techniques or reframing unhelpful and inaccurate ways of thinking. And sometimes certain barriers, such as not feeling worthy of being at ease, can get in the way of implementing these methods effectively. As a reminder, changing any routine can take some time as it is not something that we may get used to doing. But it doesn't mean that we cannot modify or change how we manage our anxiety. And sometimes even working on building self-esteem can help us become more accepting of implementing relaxation techniques into our lives.

Acknowledging that you can't live your life like this is important to recognize. As you mentioned things aren't working out the way they are now. But that doesn't mean that things can't improve or that they won't improve. Much of this just takes time to improve or to get better. And changing our routine (even if it's unconsciously) is an adjustment so just giving yourself the time and space to transition and implement some of these techniques into your daily routine. But to truly make an effort to implement it into your day to day can make all the difference. And over time, it can become part of a more typical and more nature routine.

Anxiety is a very normal and natural feeling for anyone to experience. But it can be problematic when it becomes the sole or a big focus in their life. And because of this, it can be helpful to find ways to relieve it. There are great self-help books out there that can help guide you in this journey if you are feeling stuck. But you can also search for a mental health therapist if you'd like additional support or are feeling stuck.

Best of luck to you on your journey to managing anxiety.