How do I emotionally prepare for a 2nd pregnancy?

Hi, and thanks for reaching out. That is a very complex situation and I can see how it could be very conflicted in your mind. 

I think its important first to remember that your feelings are valid and that you should not feel guilty for being worried or hesitant about the possibilities of a second pregnancy and child.  This is particularly the case after having a traumatic and scary first pregnancy; that is a lot to overcome in itself, let alone the potential of having to do it all over again. 

With the low odds you mentioned, its likely fine medically to move forward naturally if you feel that you can manage your anxiety and not be overly stressed during the pregnancy.  As you know, if you do struggle and are overly anxious, this could cause issues getting pregnant, staying pregnant, and enjoying your pregnancy as it goes along.  If you feel overwhelmed and unsettled and it is really preventing you from feeling at ease moving forward, maybe consider consulting with a Reproductive Endocrinologist if you haven't yet about the option of IVF with genetic testing.  I understand that this isn't a financial option or personal preference for some people, but that would be the other end of the extreme if you really were struggling with it.  That too is obviously a "last resort," there are many other ways you can work through it during the process without taking it to that big final step. 

I'd strongly recommend you look into working with a therapist either in person or on a site like this before and during the early phases of the pregnancy, both to work through some of those traumatic memories and events from your first pregnancy and to help you manage the anxiety and fears going forward with another.  This can help you process your feelings as you have them, as well as give you some helpful coping strategies to manage them as you go along.  

I'm happy your first child is doing well and wish you all the best as you go forward into this next chapter! 

Best of luck to you, and feel free to reach out in the future if you need anything further!