How do I learn to not care and push myself out of my comfort zone?

Thank you so much for sharing your question through the forum.

Our comfort zone can be our psychological and emotional behavior construct that defines the routine of our daily life. It can imply familiarity, safety, and security. It can also be comprised of fearful and insecure behaviors we might exhibit at times. Your comfort zone can end where an action requires courage and effort. This can be accompained by feelings of fear, insecurity, and feeling uncomfortable. If you are able to leave your comfort zone you may experience stress or feelings that the situation is no longer under your control.

Sometimes the only way to overcome fear is through fear. When you leave your comfort zone, you may enter what is called the fear zone. As you navigate through your fear zone, things may change, and over time you can gain back control over your thinking and behaviors. It can be difficult to move past the fear zone if your automatic negative thoughts are telling you that you will always be the sidekick or that people are choosing to ignore you or talk over you because your opinion is not as important as their opinions.

The great part of what you mentioned was that you felt that you could mentally get through it. That is such a rare quality to have when you are faced with adversity. It is sometimes important to have that inner-voice to propel us into our purpose and help negate the negative worrisome thoughts that adversely affect our current reality or future promise.

One thing I have suggested to clients is to work on developing positive automatic neutral thoughts. This thought pattern can lead to your learning zone in which you are discovering your current abilities and learning how to deal with stressful situations. You can start to feel safe and sound in your thoughts which can then lead you to a safety zone.

But I want you to note that not all learning zones are safe zones. If you enter into a learning zone by leaving your limiting comfort zone, then you may call this your safety zone. This can entail you changing your environment, habitual patterns that appeared negative for you, and finding something good to replace it with (safety zone).

Sometimes we can feel guilty about making changes due to the barriers it might create in our relationships with friends, co-workers, our spouse or partner, or even within ourselves. Sometimes we might even procrastinate (which can become one of the main barriers to overcome in order to reach our safety zone). Some reasons why we may procrastinate is because we have a fear of making a mistake, we may also struggle with poor time management (in which I suggest creating a time budget for you to monitor when and how you spend your time), and we also may be impatient due to not having quick or rapid results (success patterns). But the great news is that you can overcome procrastination by making plans and breaking down each and every task, learning how to allocate and manage your time, reward yourself, and even seek professional help for challenges that you deem difficult in nature that requires more assistance.

I want you to become the best version of yourself to allow for opportunities of growth and self-reflection. It could take some time to believe in yourself due to having experiences in which you questioned your own self-worth. But, I hope that with the right help, care, and self-will, you will be able to connect yourself with the right individuals who will help increase your steps to positive well-being.

I hope I was able to provide some insight to your question and if you need further assistance please reach back out to BetterHelp to find a licensed professional to help provide adequate care for your needs. Have a wonderful rest of your afternoon.