Ask a therapist > Anxiety > How do I stop thinking the worst is going to happen in every situation?

How do I stop thinking the worst is going to happen in every situation?

I constantly fear that I, my four small children, and my husband are going to find out we are going to get very sick/hurt/die, or the worst possible outcome of every situation. I think small ailments always mean something deeper that’s horrible. I rethink every interaction I have with people thinking I made a mistake or said something wrong. I am exhausted thinking the worst all the time. I imagine scenarios that have not happened and predict things that are absurd and likely not going to happen, but in my head they are extremely real to me. I always think someone is mad at me and that I’m doing a bad job as a parent. I second guess my decisions regarding my kids all the time. I don’t know how to stop this mentally reckless imagining of horrible things happening. I’m so tired. I just want to be positive and not always think that my family’s and my demise is right around the corner.

Asked by Pham

Anxiety

Worry

Answered

04/22/2022

It must be overwhelming and exhausting to have those thoughts all the time! Something to consider when you are having these negative thoughts about yourself, or thoughts that something bad is going to happen is asking yourself "what proof do I have to support these thoughts?" What makes you think you are doing a bad job as a parent, or that someone is mad at you? If your husband told you that you were doing a great job with the kids, or if every person you interacted with told you they had a pleasant conversation with you, would that change how you think about those things?

There is real power in the inner dialogue that we have with ourselves. We can form habits by doing the same thing over and over, for better or for worse. We can also start to believe things that we tell ourselves over and over, even if there is no hard evidence in our lives that support the thoughts. Unfortunately, there is not an easy tip or trick to stop the thoughts that you are having. Exploring what is behind some of those thoughts you are having could be beneficial in understanding more about yourself and the reasons you think something bad is going to happen.

Something to start with is to identify a few things when a thought comes to mind: "how do I physically feel, and what emotions am I feeling." You can even try with a positive thought for practice. For example, if you look at a photo of a fun trip you went on with your family, does it bring back positive memories? Take a second and do a quick inventory about how your body feels, if your mood changes, if you find yourself smiling, if your mind drifts to thinking about something else - any kind of response that you are having physically, emotionally, or mentally.

What you are experiencing sounds like cognitive distortions. A way to help treat cognitive distortions is with cognitive behavioral therapy, which focuses on challenging thoughts that we have. Another consideration could be consulting a physician and discussing medications that can help with symptoms of anxiety, in addition to engaging in psychotherapy.

We don't have control of some thoughts that pop into our head, and that's okay. Having a plan ready to address unwanted thoughts is something that is within our control.

Joseph Kubicsko