How do you get in control of your thoughts?

Dear Katie,

It sounds like you are going through a lot with trying to manage the thoughts that you have. As a helpful starting place to see what is going on with your thoughts, please take a moment to evaluate how long you have been dealing with thinking about the worst possible outcomes of things. Did this just start a month ago? A year ago? A week ago? Do you have something new on your plate right now with school, work, or a personal relationship? Getting to the bottom of when the worst-case scenario thoughts happened can be helpful in figuring out if these thoughts are linked to a key stressor or trigger.

For example, imagine someone just got promoted at work. This person is very excited by this promotion but they are also worried now about meeting their boss's expectations. Now when they have projects to work on they find themselves worried about completing the projects correctly. They imagine the worst possible outcome of things at work. This person can therefore link their worst possible outcome thoughts to getting promoted at work. Once they make that linkage, they can potentially consider talking to their boss about how they have been feeling since they got promoted to figure out if something can be changed at work.

Once you figure out when these thoughts first started, you can work on trying to reframe them. For example, if someone has a fear of public speaking and they have to give a presentation at work or at school they might imagine the worst possible outcomes before they even do the presentation. This person can reframe these thoughts by first acknowledging that they have the worst possible outcome thoughts (being aware of these thoughts is very important since ignoring them usually makes them worse). Then they can open the door to exploring the worst possible outcomes by thinking about what is their worst possible fear when it comes to giving the presentation. Are they worried about their voice sounding shaky during the presentation? Once the worst possible fear is determined, the next step is evaluating how likely it is that this fear will come true based on past experiences. Then the person can ask themselves what the worst thing would be if they did sound shaky while giving the presentation. The next reflection step is imagining what is likely to happen if their worst fear of sounding shaky happens. This leads to them reflecting on how they might feel a week, a month, or a year after their worst fear of sounding shaky during a presentation occurs. All of these reflective steps help put things in perspective, as one of the most effective ways to manage the worst possible outcome thoughts is to acknowledge their existence and then restructure them in order to not have them affect your ability to carry out your daily life.

If you are really finding that you are struggling with these thoughts and they are making you physically ill from all the anxiety and worry, you might want to consider starting therapy sessions even if it is on a temporary basis to have the space to talk about these thoughts. Therapy sessions can provide support in challenging these thoughts constructively, as well as walking you through some other strategies that might help you manage your daily life and stressors overall.

I hope you will find this information helpful, as you took a great first step in asking how to manage these thoughts that you are having. I wish you well.

Jasmine